Once again the largest person in the room.

Aug 18, 2011

I had an orientation that I had to attend yesterday for my special needs son. They walked us in single file to a confrence room lined with chairs that of course I did not fit in. And of course the chairs were touching each other in rows. They then tell us that we must sit in order and do not skip any seats. The person behind me made a comment just loud enough for me to hear, "2 and a half hours! Well this is going to be uncomfortable and just down right unbearable for some." The person to the right of me says "tell me about it." I immediately feel my face turn red. I squeeze my shoulders in and put my arms in front of me and sit as still as possible as to not further offend the lady to my right. When my name was called I got up and walked as quickly as possible over to the desk to register. As I walk away she just cant help but make another comment, "Finally a little room for a few minutes at least." To say the least I sat mortified and ashamed for almost 3 hours. Told myself to let it go and concentrate on why I was there. We were finally dismissed and cried my entire drive home. I was so angry that I allowed her to make me feel like I had no right to be there because I was fat. Like I am less of a person. Like my son is less important because Iof my size. I just can not comprehend how people can be so ignorant. I was also angry with myself. Angry that I was so worried about drawing more attention to myself that I did not put that lady in her place. I realized by keeping my mouth shut I allowed her to make me less then a person and I  gave her permission to do this again to someone else. One positive thing did come out of the situation though. Today I sat my children down and I shared with them the entire incident as I have with all of you. I cried some more and told them exactly how this lady made me feel. ANd explained to them that this is what bullying is. She bullied me. I explained how bullying hurts not just the person being bullied, but that persons friends and family as well. As my children cried with me I was comforted. And I am now thankful for the horrible day I had yesterday because I am comfortable in saying that my children will never be a bully. Now the task at hand is getting us all to a place where we are comfortable enough to take a stand and not be the victim!!

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