Ok, so I was cranky!!!

Jul 02, 2009

Ok, I've got my head back on straight and realize that everything I wrote about before really doesn't matter.  I'm not going to be homeless, my husband has a job and although I would have loved that baby with all of my heart, I know that it would have made our lives even more complicated.  By no means am I saying that I am happy that it happened - I'm just coming to terms with it and accepting that it wasn't meant to be a part of our lives just yet. 

So, I am wondering what is the point of all the things that we are going through.  Why the challenges and tests?  I know we all go through difficult times and I have realized that I have to be thankful for my family, friends, the health and happiness of my boys and so many other things.

What I want most is to be at home with my boys.  Honestly, it's not financially feasible but there are many things that we can sacrifice in order for that to happen.  I want to take/pick up the boys from school, help them with their homework, take them to practices for sports, make them after school snacks, help in the classroom....I can't do any of that right now but that is what my heart desires more than anything.  Is that why I am losing my job? 

Our house is just a house and we never unpacked everything.  We never fully moved in.  Maybe we both knew that it wasn't right and that there was another plan for us.  It would be wonderful if the banks came through with the assistance that so many people in our situation need but if not, oh well!  We will have a roof over our heads somehow.

I am truly amazed at the strength and support that we have found in our family and our friends.  I don't know what we would do without them....I believe that something great is coming and I am open to that opportunity.

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