CaNdLeS

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

WEll its May, May DAY MAY DAY its almost mothers day.. I have had a few problems since I last blogged.  I had to have my gall bladder removed last August 2009. Then I had some excruating pain in april, and after a lot of tests  that showed nothing ,Dr. T opted for surgery as he couldnt see it but believed i had adhesions and possible internal hernia.  Wich so glad he did , that was exactly what i had, and wow that was some of the worst pain I have ever had. It was a pain that went around my back to my front, and my gall bladder was gone they couldnt find any stones.. it mostly came at night when I laid down. I had to go on all fours to help lift some of the pain, It was like my worst back pain ever had..    But since april of last year  think thats if for stomach stuff.       I am currently battling  normal back pain and most recent finding is a bone spur at the top of my spine, going monday may 10, for an MRI and  may 24 I have my semi annual rhizotomy left side, every 6 months i have some of the nerves burnt (electric radiation)  to help reduce pain.    My weight has amazingly remained about the same. I hover at 160-165 most all the time,  My tight abs are no longer as with pain procedures  I havent been able to do the core trainging , I'm as loose skinned as a boiled chicken right now.. and infact I could probally  get a lift off if I flapped hard enough from the wings I have under my arms.. no boobs of anykind and loose skin  is kinda shocking.. I guess when your fat and full,  some how you feel like a women more..  for me anyway.. thinner I feel like I look manly,  not as femine. course it doesnt help I hate pantyhose and my bunions wont allow any fancy shoes or my back.  I love comfy clothes but.. I guess its part of the entire secret to life..         Its in our heads we have to work with mind constantly  to work at being happy about what we have, we are healthier physically, now practice the rest  in our heads.. 
So two complications ... adhesions, internal hernia and gallstones..        my lowest weight was 11 months out 149 and I really didnt look well at all, ( sickly thin looking)    DR. T at my last appt. said as I weighed 162 my bmi was perfect and for my body typed was right where I  should be.               Dec. I will be 3 years out. Hard to imagine it.. AMazing!!    I cant go a week without exercise, for pain control for depression for  weight control.    I wish  I WISH I had dumping syndrome I actually pray for it, as I cant stop loving chocolate or sweets.. I dream about them, why did I even try one bite again?? why why??      I  caved. dont do it, if you are a newbie and get off all sugar dont go back. dont do it.. its like an alcoholic , I'm a food addict.. and I always will be.  I love food. especially crunchy food!  nuts, crackers all that crunches  .. 
          Thanks for taking the time to read this and if you have any questions I 'd love to hear from you. God Bless You and keep you safe.  Hes coming soon.. real soon get ready..

HI everyone!
Happy New year! I had my 1 year follow up on dec 9th.. and Dr. T said I was done losing, I said Yah, how do you know he says because your gaining ! oh.. that would do it..  WEll nate said  (personal trainer) to eat more carbs.. guess NO one should say that to  me.. as I did just that and still doing it.. eeech.. HELP .. this problem didnt go away.. I Like food still,  I crave sweets again.. help...   I have to  HAVE TO  pay attention  and stop putting stuff in my mouth automatically, un mindlfully.    Wow its scarey when you start to gain, although I am gaining muscles they say.. I know I am not making the best choices lately and  thats instant poundage.. I EXERCISE  4 times a week at least for pain and stress relief, I still have some pretty tight abs,  and soo blessed by cardio endurance  level 5 on eliptical  is what I have to do to sweat now..
I am just realizing that I have to work hard forever.. That this  is not a diet,yes we can use them to get back on track, but we know dietsssssssss dont work, thats why we have surgery and get approved for them. We have to fix our head, well this head is some stubborn it is  really mouth this winter..  and  It has several voices.. sweet, carbs, and crunchy.. hehe
         well  jUst let ya know I'm back, and will be getting to the meetings again.. My daughter has dance same nights as augusta and just an hour off , neeed to find another place for meetings to go to, as staying account -able is absolutley necessary for this ride..  I  am a loser but also a gainer, and  its ok.. but dont want to gain anymore.. hehe
                Just  back to reality.. put more in then I burn it happens.. even to people with pouches, especially people with pouches..  move to lose, off to the gym praise you father for my will power on that end, please give me more will power for my  hands to mouth.           I'm gonna go weigh today I havent weighed since dec 9th.. and  find that the scale especially in the begining   is  not a good tool for me anyway..  but today its going to be as its now needed I can feel my clothes that snug feeling again .. Instead of everything hanging off.. 
have a great day Happy NEw Year to all! blessings!
Allicca

HI Everyone!!!!
wow what a ride,  I now am in a single digit HELLO  thats 8 not 28 not 18
who is this person?  its happening very fast,  seemed so slow in the begining, but warp speed now, looking back not even a year now and I'm now 149 lbs, DO NOT WAKE ME UP FROM THIS DREAM
     beyond beyond my imagination,, I'm allergic to chocolate AMEN  well sugar, and will keep it that way,  Thank you Lord for keeping me surrounded with wonderful people, for the guideness to  never miss exercise,  and the courage to stay in balance, one meal at time! thank you for letting me learn from my lessons..   but.. maybe we could do something about the no boobs thing hee hee, just keeping me humble! a good thing..  socks and padded bras,,  is part of my ritual but its ok, it really is,  I will always see myself large and I will always find something I dont like about myself,  but  as long as Jesus loves me, no matter what
I can do anything,  I need to STOP  that little man on my shoulder that says, dont wear that your bat wings will show, or oh your too this or your too that, I  need to feed the good side, not the bad side,  DAAA  its pretty sad I have to go through  39 years of all that to figure this out, wow..
  I've missed so much..  Thank you Lord for the peace for the comfort for the new me, I only pray I can give back what you continue to give to me..
         tomorow I will turn 39..(and holding) wow,  I had so many goals before I hit 40,  WAIt  theres still time............
I have the next year to be more like Jesus, to inspire others to share his love to give back what he continues to give to me
oh and i"m hoping for a hot tub, too.. hehehe
for my back,and my husbands back, we never take vacations ever and I am dreaming it expecting it, and will post  it,, as I believe... and maybe my oldest will visit more..
it will give a place to relax, to uplift our spirits to share the word with others, to rest in him.......
thank you Lord for all you've done for me and my family and business, and for all you are going to do..
thank you for all my friends and support here, thank you for a place for us to inspire each other and share your blessings
OH I  have lost a total now of 118 pounds.
I need to get a century card.. I think Kathi mentioned making one, need to get a new photo.. blessings everyone..

OOps a bit behind here.. I just had my 6month check up, I have a bmi of 27 . I am in absolute aww!!!    IN the words of queen latifah I"m a size healthier.. hehehe
I am a size 10, I  have always been solid so I thought big boned, what I have bones, hip bones, collar bones,  RIBS I see them..  do not wake me up from this dream!   I weigh 168 I'm still in shock from getting under 200 for more then a few minutes..  
ok back to reality. I still have the same spine and discs, shucks but I do have more pain endurance,  I'm able to be on my feet somedays until 8.00 thats sooo huge,  I can do the eliptical  on level 4 for 30 min and make 3 MILES that is double the distance..  I have had to reduce my protein amount, never dreamed that would happen..  down to 60 ish grams no problem. I HAVE BEEN BLESSED! in so many ways.. business, HOme and health.. Thank YOu LORD.. as you know our hearts desires. to be healthy happy and JOYFUL..          I'm singing your praises..  anyone care to JOin me..??
  Dr. True says I should in the next 6 months lose about 20 pounds MORE> he said and oh   what sweet words, you read...
YOUR NOT DONE LOSING.. what  I'm going to keep losing even more is this humanily possible??  
I blog too.. on my web site 
I need to link  this site to my links, I"m way behind on the web maintance but  gotta make the candles.. 
www.freshbakedrefills.com

HI everyone, spring has finally sprung and having our annual, Customer Appreciation crazy Sale! so be xtra busy. come visit, I try to blog there too.
www.freshbakedrefills.com
I had my 3 month post op with DR.T , he was really impressed and encouraging, I have lost 60% of my weight already.. from pre and now post.
He expects for me to lose 15% of excess in the next 3 months.  and weight loss to slow a bit,  MY Bmi is now 31 wow!  MY goal weight for me he said 150     Less then 30 pounds to go. UNREAL.      I am discourged about my back pain still, I guess I was hoping for that to slow down more, but I know  it could be worse then what it is, and  80 pounds gone now certaintly isnt hurting my spine,  I have  Superior Facet syndrome, basically  the disc's gone to support the joints the( facets, ) they are taking the impact in the lower back they have become dense and arthritic, swell  and hit bone to bone and hit the nerve that causes the pain, Plus scar tissue from spinal tears from other disc herniated and other surgeries.  nothing they can do  Until a fusion, that is what i am trying to avoid as long as possible, as in lower back the surgeon has even seen titanium break.   so the sharp pains and numbness down legs, and  soreness. stiffness,  and when it gets real bad its just like LABOR the pressure the sharpness of not being able to breath,  Thank heavens they are only about  6-8 weeks spells.    and usually last less then 2 weeks so far,  I'm so thankful for it not to be constant, I'm in fear of it but , will have to have a fusion to jack up the joints when it stays that way. I am so happy to be upright , not in a wheel chair  .   I have been flat in a hospital bed for weeks before, and  thats why I am so diligent on moving, as the pain is far greater when you cant and dont move.  Mobility is a gift. and I never want to lose it again.   
I am not enjoying my weight loss as much as I should be, as I am already worried about  gaining it back, now that I am eating a bit more normal,  all stages, I feel like its sooo much.. I did address this with DR.T.   and he said  he gaurentees me I'm not eating too much,  but its hard for my brain to   not worry about eating too much again..as it begins to eat more normal things... and variety. 
           Happy Spring,
     

March 9th today. 1 day until 3months post op. I am excited to have seen my Nut this week, and I have tried fresh salad, and can I say WOW If you need to chew something 30 times, salad is much yummier then tuna..  I had no problems,  Thank the Lord as everyone is different, I had a delicious  grilled chicken ceasar salad  , just greens and chicken but yum!   I found that precooked grilled chicken at walmart in frozen section extremely moist and tender, and just heat 1 min in microwave and  instant yummy protein.The crisp crunchy salad was heavenly.  I have had cooked and some raw veggies,MY nut says to try  cooked first of course.   I Do have to increase my protein shakes this week, My clear protein,as I have been trying veggies, and  not a lot of room for protein, but my  count has gone down a lot from 80's to about 65 grams a day and thats not our of reach at all.    I would like to share with you all, If I dont get the protein in I notice NO weight LOss. Eat to live and lose. not enough is as bad as too much  I'm learning.
It stops.. stalls and slowwwwwwwwwwwwssssssss down.  My back pain is improving a bit this week,  Hoping can do some walking too a bit.  I still exercise 4 times a week at family wellness, unless they cancel class for storm    240 min a week,  as classes are 60 min Plus I do other stuff and need to try the elastics again especially for my arms and ball, now my backs a bit better,  that really works incredible muscle tone. 
   I havent had the foamies for almost 2 weeks, I did have some nausea but do know need more reg. water.  Thanks for taking the time to read this Scented Blessings..
Happy Spring!    

192  weight today  , wow time is going quickly!
It has been a long winter, Everyone eager for spring and safer walkways.
I have had a bit of heartburn trouble. but no problem eating or drinking just uncomfortable, so Dr. T changed my med to prilosec from prevacid. will see how that helps.. I did buy some new pants a few weeks ago and they are already  hanging low.. but that is in style these days..  
I have been happy with my skin  tightness, exercise helps with that ALL EXcept my triceps.. I had some  extreme back pain the first month out and couldnt do weights.. and  well because of no toning  I now have flaps under my arms.. but I need to embrace this as  I am thankful to God above for arms.. If they flap.. they are working...  I cant complain as this all is a gift better health  .. People are really starting to notice the weight loss. as you know people  at first its oh your face looks thinner... ahh the  pretty face.. 
words..  I really honestly dont care..  sometimes I feel ashamed a bit that I had weight loss surgery.. as I have always exercised and have lost 100 pounds at a time 50 at a time 60 at a time but it always came back..  I only feel that way for a short time as   being mobile  is soo important  with my back and spine  only getting worse.. I have absolutely no regrets.. 

I  am just starting to get a kind of bit of hungry, just that funky feeling that says oh you could eat something.. that does help  as  I normally could care less if I eat. I keep trying to find  moist exciting things..  but as long as I am satisfied.. Its all good.. as we struggle our entire lives to be satisfied..  and I now have it.. not hungry not full..  satisfied.. NOw if I can get that in all other parts of my life.. hehe I will with the Lord. he continues to provide JOy hope and happiness. Scented Blessings Everyone..
hoping to make a support group  this month.. my Dr,. will be at the next one.  but its the night before my daughter has surgery.. so  not sure If can make it. Happy Spring is coming soon everyone.. !  yahoo..
 

Wow Februrary 2  today
I am literally ounces away from weighing under 200 lbs, in Onederland any day now.. Its hard to believe.
I am doing well with my proteins,  I do have to rely a lot on my isopure clear mango peach, I mix with unsweetned  orange koolaid, it tastes just like tang this way, I do use 1 scoop with 8 plus ounces of water.   and try to drink two of those a day, as if i used the 2 scoops at once thats 50 grams of protein, and  dont want to waste any spread it out so it will absorb properly.
         I havent had the foamies for a few weeks,  chili is my favorite food, I make it with ground turkey, tons of beans  and it tolerates very well, I put some fat free cheese on it and its  rich and yummy very satisfying,
         I'm full course at the gym again, hard toning classes, few..
plus cardio.. My  back had a bad spell after surgery so it took me a couple extra weeks to get back to excercising.. and now i"m feeling better.
         I am still working on photos,  I am sorry been soo busy with my web site, back to working  since my back troubles, working with tons of help to keep up.       visit us, www.freshbakedrefills.com I have been making candles for almost ten years now, its a lot of chemistry and trial and error , test and re test, but I absolutely addicted to scent and even and clean burn.
have used parrafin blend for the entire time and has taken years to even get a grasp on the changes of  combustion,   and have begun soy testing, its    a hotter burning  substance thus it causes the fragrance oil to flash, so getting a proper wick size for  all the different sizes, to produce an outward burn instead of down at a level temp. is quite tricky, but    I do love challenges.. a lot of trial and error, test and retest over and over again..  Thank the good LORD for my spouse family and friends as for without them I couldnt do  this mastering of candlemaking.. 
  my back  wont allow. 
        well on this cold icy february I am embracing the sweet smell of lilacs ,  the beautiful violet color and rich fragrance,  ooh its such a blessings.    also we just did a product photo shoot for 
COUNTRY SAmpler woooooooooooooooo  I do love that magazine,
been blessed by being feautred in countryplace magazine 2004 .. and now that things are getting a bit better health wise,  and with all the help, moms coming from alabama too..    we can embrace  the internet again.
well scented blessings to all.
I am so thankful for you all here,   doing well and almost there.
        few days away form my 2nd month anniversary. seems like its been longer then that,  an old friend,.......... comfort...  its nice..
          say your prayers
Allicca

Wow where did the time go??
Holidays are so crazy, throw in some major surgery and a computer virus and your really talking warp speed... hehe
I had my surgery December 10th  on a snowy morning, the snowiest month in history I'm pretty sure, My follow up appt. was on Dec 20th  
Dr. T removed a little stitch tucked in , in the office no biggy all has been very well surgery wise, I still have my  tulip filter in my vein, as I am  waiting to speak with  my spine specialist, as preparing for back sugery.
       I am soo blessed by this surgery NO regrets ,  I have lost  30 ish pounds since  the start of the liquid diet until now. I only lost about 7 on that, It only reassured me I was doing the right thing, worked out 8 times in two weeks and took in less then 800 calories a day  oh ya ... you do the math. hehe
                    I feel fine  and as soon as my  back pain lets up I'll be back at exercising, I am gently  doing the eliptical and stretches, had to stop all the intense work outs, the back pain flaired up aweful again.. 
              It sure looks like by the end of this month I will be under the 200 mark,  I have only been that a few months out of my life and its kinda of numbing really..
People are noticing the weight loss already, I  did lose about 30  before sugery so with this 30 after surgery its finally moving.. I am just soo Blessed....
             Dr. T was very attenative to me and my family ,   and  super with  treating my blood disorder and  my other  health problems.   Blessed to have   been in his care.. 
              I have my NUT ritionist appt. this thursday 10th  the one month mark, seems longer then that really.. excited for veggies.. woo..
             I am surviving fine, I'm not bored, I'm not hungry I am  
satisified..  the way we were meant to be, I pray that this will stay that way and head hunger will never come back or should we call it hand hunger ,,
I dont like being sick and   for that split half a second comes around  watching others eat, it really doesnt bother me,  I  am truly blessed by this comfort, as I know so many others are still struggling, I pray it doesnt leave ... What a tool... . 

Dec 5 2007 
yesterday I completed all my pre op testing at  maine general, I had g.i swallow,  yuk, and I'm still full from it.. chest xrays- ultra sound-full cvc and artery  blood gas for oxygen  and few others,  Thank YOu Dr. T for being soo thorough!  A blessing to have such good care. 
 I actually ran into him while I was waiting in the lab, on his way out, He asked me about me taking my lovenox.  nice of him to have such a good memory everyone he sees,etc. 
          I went to the gym this morning for the last class work out, as no class thursdays or weekends, and friday I have a last pre op  meeting in anesthesia and will miss it, shucks,   not too worry Nate gave me a ton of extra kick butt work outs,  
4 more nights until surgery. its actually going fast, and this liquid diets not all that bad, I guess I'm wondering why oh why couldnt I do this before, I have already lost a few pounds fast from it,   I have cooked full meals  for my family and not one morsel has entered my mouth,   and I couldnt do this for all of my life before? Life is strange..   when you Know you cant its different its a lot easier, much much easier, as I have had complications before and I have absolutely no interest in any more..  Health Care is a gift  so is my health, and I am blessed to having better both.. Merry Christmas..
          packaging dipped scented bears today they are soo sweet.. 
Allicca~~~