Holy Wow more time has gone by again!

May 08, 2010

WEll its May, May DAY MAY DAY its almost mothers day.. I have had a few problems since I last blogged.  I had to have my gall bladder removed last August 2009. Then I had some excruating pain in april, and after a lot of tests  that showed nothing ,Dr. T opted for surgery as he couldnt see it but believed i had adhesions and possible internal hernia.  Wich so glad he did , that was exactly what i had, and wow that was some of the worst pain I have ever had. It was a pain that went around my back to my front, and my gall bladder was gone they couldnt find any stones.. it mostly came at night when I laid down. I had to go on all fours to help lift some of the pain, It was like my worst back pain ever had..    But since april of last year  think thats if for stomach stuff.       I am currently battling  normal back pain and most recent finding is a bone spur at the top of my spine, going monday may 10, for an MRI and  may 24 I have my semi annual rhizotomy left side, every 6 months i have some of the nerves burnt (electric radiation)  to help reduce pain.    My weight has amazingly remained about the same. I hover at 160-165 most all the time,  My tight abs are no longer as with pain procedures  I havent been able to do the core trainging , I'm as loose skinned as a boiled chicken right now.. and infact I could probally  get a lift off if I flapped hard enough from the wings I have under my arms.. no boobs of anykind and loose skin  is kinda shocking.. I guess when your fat and full,  some how you feel like a women more..  for me anyway.. thinner I feel like I look manly,  not as femine. course it doesnt help I hate pantyhose and my bunions wont allow any fancy shoes or my back.  I love comfy clothes but.. I guess its part of the entire secret to life..         Its in our heads we have to work with mind constantly  to work at being happy about what we have, we are healthier physically, now practice the rest  in our heads.. 
So two complications ... adhesions, internal hernia and gallstones..        my lowest weight was 11 months out 149 and I really didnt look well at all, ( sickly thin looking)    DR. T at my last appt. said as I weighed 162 my bmi was perfect and for my body typed was right where I  should be.               Dec. I will be 3 years out. Hard to imagine it.. AMazing!!    I cant go a week without exercise, for pain control for depression for  weight control.    I wish  I WISH I had dumping syndrome I actually pray for it, as I cant stop loving chocolate or sweets.. I dream about them, why did I even try one bite again?? why why??      I  caved. dont do it, if you are a newbie and get off all sugar dont go back. dont do it.. its like an alcoholic , I'm a food addict.. and I always will be.  I love food. especially crunchy food!  nuts, crackers all that crunches  .. 
          Thanks for taking the time to read this and if you have any questions I 'd love to hear from you. God Bless You and keep you safe.  Hes coming soon.. real soon get ready..

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