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Last week I went to see Dr. B. I told him that I was thinking about doing WW for the last of my pounds. However, I absolutely don't want to be 130 lbs. I explained that he could write a weight on a prescription pad and they would have to accept it. He said, well I'm only looking for you to get down to 178 lbs. I was shocked, this was higher than I expected. I told him I would do 160 lbs. Then when he wrote the Rx he said I'm going to put 170 lbs. on here. First time I ever had a doctor tell me a higher weight than what I said. He said of course, I can lose more but that would be a good goal to get to. Yay! That means I have about 20lbs to go to reach that goal. Doable and not overwhelming!

NSV- I was walking by a glass wall at work and noticed what I looked like. I said to myself, shouldn't that reflection be wider?! LOL! I guess my brain is still catching up to my image! I will have to take new pics soon.

I tried on a jumpsuit that I really didn't think I could get into. I did get into and it wasn't a plus size! 

The week before last I got a fill of .5 which put me at 6 cc's. Everything was great until Friday of that week when I couldn't keep anything down. The following Monday I went in and had the .5 cc removed. I wanted to only take out .25 but Dr. Bilton said I probably had some swelling from throwing up. Now, I feel like I can eat anything and everything and have picked up 3 lbs. to show for it. Of course, it didn't help that when I was too tight I did find I could get down potato chips and jellybeans .

Now, I've got to get back on track. I may have gained weight but one positive is I actually did increase my exercise. Imagine what I would have gained if I hadn't!! I'm also hoping that part of the weight gain is because it's TOM. Anyway, I confess to the jellybeans (Starburst tropical fruit jellybeans only come out in the spring. I had to have some, right?) and potato chips and popcorn (yeah, I ate that too). So now, I publicly say that I will get back on track . . . right after I finish the bag of jellybeans. JUST KIDDING!

I went to the doctor on Monday. He checked to see if I had a leak and I didn't although I had some loss in volume. I should have been at 6 cc's but it was at 5.5cc's. He gave me a .5 cc fill. Hopefully, this will help a lot.

BTW, I made a discovery. I found a new scar where they did the surgery . I guess I never saw or felt it before because it was hidden between a fat roll or something. I kept itching in one spot and couldn't figure out why. Then I looked and found a scar and thought I didn't even know that was there and it's been almost a year!

Last week, after spending about an hour trying to find clothes to wear to work, I decided it was time to clean out my closet. I went through this weekend and pulled out EVERYTHING that was a size 22/24.I bagged them up and have already given them away to a fellow lap band patient. It felt really good to get rid of those clothes and month I will do it again. 

Next month, I'll get rid of the 18/20. The only reason I haven't done it now is because I need to have some clothes to wear. Right now I'm a 16 and can manage some 14's.I did give away a few that were way too big but I can still manage to wear some a couple more weeks before they start looking like parachutes. LOL. Hopefully, the income tax check will allow me to buy some new clothes and shoes.
 
My feet have gotten smaller. The last time I bought a pair of shoes they were a size 7 down from a 8 1/2 or 9. I actually bought them by accident. I went to my normal size and tried them on and they fit. When I got home I saw a sticker  that had a 7 on it.  I thought it was one of those inspector number things.Then I looked at the bottom of the shoe and imprinted on the bottom was a 7. NSV! Yeah!

I know that I've always lost weight really slowly but now it's almost nonexistent. I've gone from turtle pace to the pace of a slug. I went to Dr. Bilton last week and had gained a pound. That means I've only lost about 5 pounds int he past  three months.  He gave me .25 cc for a fill. I said, that's it.?! He told me we had to take baby steps because he didn't want to overfill me. He said if that happened, he would have to remove all the fluid and I would have to start all over gain - something I do not want to do.

He did say the first year was hard trying to get to the right level of fill. Next month, he will check to make sure there's no leak or anything, though. I guess I'll try to be content and patient.  I don't know if I've just hit a long plateau or what. My fear is that I've stopped losing and I want to lose at least 30 lbs. more.  In the meantime, I'm trying to eat more fruits and vegetables and limit processed carbs.

Yes, this is the truth. I must, have to, need to go shopping for clothes. My coworkers looked at me today and said, "Tamara, you need new clothes. Those clothes are falling off of you". I have on black pants and a top so I said it's probably just all this black. They said," NO, those are too big".  That definitely means I have to go shopping ASAP.

The clothes that actually fit are just not right for work. They're either too dressy, too casual, or too sexy. I will get clothes appropriate for work when I do go. I actually went shopping Friday and only bought a dress to wear to church but that is all I was looking for at the time.  I couldn't believe I got into a size 14!!

I had the privilege of attending President Obama's Inauguration last week.The Inauguration was definitely a once in a lifetime experience. It was great to be among so many people rejoicing over the same event. Over 1.5 million attended and there were no reports of any negative incidents happening.    I think it is safe to say that there were a lot of emotions flowing through people- sad, happy, excited, hopeful and joyous. For me, personally, I felt a little sad because I know there were people that didn't’t live to see this day. They never even thought to dream of having a black President because they never even thought about it being a possibility. We were happy, joyous and excited that this day came and we were alive and there to see firsthand.

The long bus ride was worth it. I went with a charter bus group and we had over 200 people. Why were the senior citizens on the bus the unruly ones? Loud talking and acting up!  The bus ride was terrible in terms of food choices - grease, grease and grease! I did manage to get the salad bar at Ruby Tuesday one of those days, needless to say, I picked up a few pounds. However, I have gotten rid of them already!

My other treat to myself was a 7Eleven Slurpee. We don't have any in AL and those of you who know about the 7Eleven Slurpee know that any other is a BIG downgrade.  I got a large one - no small for me. I don't know when I may get to another 7Eleven! Those of you who know about the 7Eleven know what I'm talking about!

I will add pictures later. My camera decided to die on me this past Friday.  Thank God for the memory card!!

It's going to be 14 degrees  in ALABAMA tomorrow morning.I realize that my exercise is truly impacted by my dislike of cold weather. Ever since it turned cold, my exercise has slacked off. I seem go to in spurts, either I'm on it or I'm not. I used to walk every morning before the time changed. Now, it's dark when I get up and dark when I leave work. So, I said, I'll just start my cardio class again. Yeah, right. In order to do that I have to leave the warmth of my own home and go back out into the cold and across town. Trade the warmth of my home to go into the cold and have some man torture me for an hour? I'll stick with the warmth!

Seriously, I know I have got to get back into my routine. Riding my stationery bike is always an option. But I have decided that after next week I will go back to my cardio class. I'll be attending the inauguration  next week! Therefore, next weeks cardio class is out. I know that I lost a lot more when I was taking the class. I also know that exercise is just plain good for you and that weight loss is a bonus!

I also think I lost some of my motivation to exercise. I'm not sure why. So, any words of encouragement from my OH friends would be greatly appreciated.

Wednesday, my coworker brought in a huge tin of cookies. Usually, I can just bypass these things but this week it was different. My coworker actually brought them to my desk. Did I say, no thank you? No. . . I took one . . . then a second. . . and a third. I think I ended up eating 5 cookies. I couldn't believe it. They were coated in chocolate and I don't even really like chocolate. But they were ready and available, smelling good, they were sweet and and I had to keep walking by them because of where they were placed in the office (right?! ).

The next morning I woke up feeling heavy. I stepped on the scale and of course I'd gained 2 or 3 pounds. Was I surprised? No. Did I want to be one of those people that can eat anything and wouldn't effect them? Yes.

The cookies are on the table again and I have not touched them. Those cookies actually gave me a jump start to eating better this week. I think I started getting a little too comfortable after I hit onederland because that was my first goal. I just can't decide what my next goal should be.

I also checked to see what my BMI would have to be to be considered "normal" weight. I would have to weigh 135.  Are you kidding?! There is no way in the world I am going to weigh 135. I'm a Black woman and I need to keep some thickness. I have no desire to  be 135. You know these height, weight, BMI charts do not take into account ethnicity and body structure. Sorry folks, I'm keeping some of this thickness . . . .  and I think a few of these men would appreciate that!

Well, 2008 has almost drawn to a close. Prayerfully, 2009 will be brighter and better than 2008. I definitely, hope it's better economically. May you and your families have a safe , peaceful and blessed 2009. I pray that we'll also be thinner and reach our desired weight.