CaramelT

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

Went to the doctor earlier this week, I'd lost 4 lbs. since my last visit. Well, I found out why my weight loss slowed last month. My doctor only gave me .5 cc in my band. I also got .5 cc this month. I was losing more weight than he wanted me to in prior months. I'm fine with slow progress so maybe I can avoid some hanging skin. I do have a problem, however, with not losing anything. Dr. B says we are going to take baby steps in the process. I guess baby steps are better than ending up too tight and getting food stuck or something worse.

This month, I haven't lost any weight. I need to do my measurements this month to see if I've lost inches. So, because I haven't lost any weight I decided to change my exercise routine. Therefore, I started taking a cardio exercise class. It's a combination of execise, dance, tae kwon do, and kickboxing. The moves seemed innocent enough even though some of the moves were strange. We did karate kicks over a jumprope from the beginning to the end of a really long jumrope. Today, however, I am sore from my neck to my knees. I feel like a steamroller ran over me. If I don't lose any more weight doing this there is definitely something wrong.

My teacher reminds me of Shonuff/ The Shogun of Harlem from the Last Dragon. I'm just waiting for him to say, What's my name?! Shonuff!! While we're doing the moves he tells us to do he's imitating James Brown and MC Hammer. He teaches tae kwon do so he's already in Shonuff's attire.

My week has been uneventful when it comes to weight loss. These two pounds that I need to get rid of to make it to "one"derland seem to think my body is their permanent residance. Now that I'm back on my regular schedule, I'm back to my exercise routine. Hopefully, that will help get rid of these two pounds quickly. Being off work all last week, I kept my pajamas on and didn't exercise.

My life otherwise has been stressful. I had a friend pass away, I have another one in the hospital, and my grandmother is in the hospital. Prayerfully, next week will be a lot better.

Do you feel any different? That's the question I hear now. The answer is no, I truly don't. Fortunately, I never had any major health problems related to my weight. I've also never had problems with low esteem. I've simply improved in losing weight.

One thing that I have noticed that is kind of odd is that my nails look fabulous. It looks like I have a french manicure although I never polish my nails. Guess it must be all the cheese I seem to be eating to get in more protein. I still don't do the protein shakes becuase they are plain nasty.

I wen to Indianapolis this past week for a conference. The conference itself was really good. The meals they served were really weird. Not meals freindly to the lapband because proetein was really limited.
 
The weirdest meal was pizza and pasta. Yes, we really had pizza and pasta!! I kept waiting for someone to jump out and say we're doing a commercial and you're really eating Pizza Hut. That didn't happen it was the actual meal. There was no meat in the pastas just pasta and sauce. I think the marinara may have had traces of ground beef  but that's about it.

Our other main meal  durng the formal banquet was all starch. Fried chicken (on the bone that wasn't done), corn and mashed potatoes. Remember Ced the Entertainer's character as the cafeteria lady? Corn! Mashed potatoes! That's all we got! Is all I kept thinking about. Dessert was apple pie with whipped cream and a strawberry with a pirouline cookie on top. Who thought of this?!

I just knew that I would come back and step on the scale to see that I'd gained a ton of weight. I didnt! I just maintained. I was happy with that. I'm still at my plateau but hopefully, once I get back to my normal routine that will change.

Last week I learned something that really makes sense. At support group we learned that the mind's image of self takes 1-2 years to catch up with your physical image. Meaning that yes, you have lost the weight and you know it by the decreasing numbers on the scale and how your clothes fit but you still may feel that you look the same as before the weight loss.

This is probably why when I look in the mirror I feel like I don't look any different even though other people comment on the weight loss. I thought it was because I see myself in the mirror everyday and I'm sure that's part of it but never thought about the psychological effects.

I still haven't bought many new clothes and I really need to. I'm just not much of a shopper. I keep giving things away and not replacing them. I need to do something soon before I literally have nothing to wear.

Right now, I think I have hit another plateau. I'm trying to get into the 1's and I swear the harder I try the more elusive onederland seems to get. 3 more pounds to go and I keep fluctuating between the 3 lbs.Oh well, this too shall pass!

So, yesterday we had an all staff meeting. That means everyone from both campuses (I work at a community college) is together. Well, during lunch I see one of my coworkers who has the same doctor  as me. He decides to say really loudly," I had gastric bypass and so did she." WTH? Did I ask you to broadcast my medical history? No, I don't think so, especially to people I don't even know other than to say hi to. Did I have gastric bypass? NO. There's a difference. I had to tell him, look I really haven't told a lot of people and that is for me to tell, not you. I'll tell who I want, when I want and at my own time. Then one of the maintenance crew came by to say hello and this fool says, Does he know? Choose one: dense, dumb, stupid, ignorant. . . .Wait, I know  . .  ALL THE ABOVE. If you knew me, you'd know I hate profanity. I feel that I'm entirely too intelligent to use a limited vocabulary but if I wasn't at work, I think I may have made an exception to the rule. Then he says, "Oh, I'm just so proud of you". Please, spare me and shut the hell up. I've seen you all of two times in the past five years. Too bad HIPAA doesn't apply to coworkers.

I told the people I felt needed to know. Friends, family, sorors, a few coworkers that I'm close to and a few going through the process. The only reason he knew is because we saw each other at support group one day.

Am I ashamed of having the surgery? No
Do I feel the need to shout it from the mountaintop? NO
Do I want to stick my foot up your behind, town cryer? Yes

This weekend I went shopping for a formal dress. I went to Ross because I didn't want to pay a lot for a dress that hopefully, I won't be able to wear for too much longer. Anyway, while I was shopping a lady says to me, "Isn't this dress beautiful? . . . . But you're not nearly this big anyway!

The dress was actually hideous to me so all I said was," I'm not much of a flower person". The dress was white with these humongous black flowers on them. And they were everywhere. After she left though, I just had to see what size the dress was. It was an 18! The size I've worn for years.

I actually have no clue what size I am now. Even after going shopping, I'm still clueless. At this point, if it fits I'll wear it.

BTW, I was successful in my quest for a cheap formal. I paid $9.99.

How much have you lost? Has turned into, What are you doing? One person asked me in private, that was very respectful, in my opinion. Another asked me in front of a lot of people and I responded ancient chinese secret. She assumed I was doing the chinese dieter's tea!

I don't mind sharing with people that are genuinely concerned or those that are looking into the surgery . . . but these nosy gossipers  have asked the wrong one. You know the ones - they just want to run and tell everyone's business just because they can. PLEASE, GET A LIFE PEOPLE!!!!


More people than not are supportive and encouraging but these other folks need to realize that I made the best decision for ME.  When you do not feed or finance me, you get no say in a personal decision. I'm also perfectly happy about my decision!

Went to the doctor yesterday and thought I would come out with a fill. I didn't. Because I'd lost 10lbs. the first six weeks and 8 lbs. the next six weeks my doctor said to wait. He really only wants me to lose a pound a week and I have surpassed that. Yeah for me!

How ironic,in the past I have always lost weight extremely slowly and now I'm actually being told to slow it down! Long as it gets gone, I'm fine with it!!

I just returned from my family reunion in Tallahassee, FL. It was great  seeing a lot of family members I haven't seen in a long time.  Realizing the history in your own family is great. My great grandfather,  Floyd Rush known as Palley,  was instrumental in founding Pt. Horeb P.B. Church and and  Raney School. Both are still standing however, the school is now a community center.  We also have a street named for our family, Rush Lane. But enough about history.

A lot of my family, I probably haven't seen in ten years. This means that they haven't seen me sice I had surgery and most don't know I had it. What was funny was that most people thought they were talking to my sister, Kelli. Even when I corrected them they still called me Kelli. One conversation with my great aunt went like this:

Her: Hey, Kelli!
Me: I'm Tamara
Her: I know you're Tammy  (which I hate being called)but I keep calling you Kelli.
Me: Yeah, you always got us mixed up.
Her: I know. Good seeing you Kelli.

I gave up after that.

I also had an entire 30 minute conversation with one of my cousins. She didn't even realize until the next day that she wasn't speaking to Kelli. It wasn't until her sister mentioned how good I looked. She said I didn't see Tamara but I spoke to Kelli. Her sister had to tell her Kelli wasn't there, you were talking to Tamara!

I also got a lot of, I just figured out who you are after seeing me for three days. By the next reunion, they REALLY won't recognize me. They may just think I'm someone crashing the reunion for free food.

I know I lost weight but do I really look that different? Or could it be they think my sister gained weight?!

I go to the doctor for my third fill today. We'll see what happens!