2 Years Out!!
Jan 26, 2009
It has been such a long time since I updated. I often find myself having an odd love/hate relationship with this website. At times I love it because I am able to get support from OH friends and get advice when I need it. Or sense I am 2 years out, I can lend my experiences and first-hand knowledge to others who are just beginning this journey. But more often than not I find myself hating this same website because of how I allow it to make me feel. I spend too much time comparing myself to others. Too often I found myself wondering why I didn’t lose as much weight as someone else or why I’m not a single digit size like the women who just posted her “THANK GOD I’M A SIZE 6” photo album. I spent too much time worrying about my weight loss ticker and how fast or slow I was losing weight. I realize that a lot of these feelings are self imposed, but it has still been a struggle for me. I find myself being this way in all aspects of my life. Too often I find myself reacting this way in many other aspects in my life. I spend way too much time comparing myself to others and focusing on what I have yet to accomplish. But again this is a trait I recognize in myself and I am trying hard as hell to overcome it.
I can hardly believe I am 2 years out!! It just seems as if I just started this journey yesterday. A lot has happened in 2 years, many ups and downs. New relationships have blossomed, while old ones have withered and died. I am now in my 2nd year of graduate school. I had an extremely successful first year and I am looking forward to finishing my program (COME ON MAY 2010!!!). I recently got engaged over Christmas Eve. I was very surprised. I came into the relationship with my fiancé with so much baggage. I didn’t trust men, and I didn’t believe I deserved to be loved. However, he stuck with me and I am so grateful for it. We plan on having our wedding in either the summer of fall of 2010. We are currently severely broke….so we might have to push that date back a bit .
My appetite has increased, and it has been a struggle to remain active. However, every time I get down on myself of feel like I am going to fail, I always find a renewed sense of energy and motivation. I understand now that I can never stop starting over. It’s okay to make mistakes, I’m not perfect. As long as I stick to my eating plan and work out regularly, I’m going to be ok. I’m a success story no matter what