I have taken a long time before starting my story but if it can help someone i guess i am ready to tell it.

              Like so many of you i have fought with my weight my whole life. By the time i started Jr. high i was over 200 LBS and in hell. I lived off of antidepressants, and by the time i was in 9Th grade i had adapted a eating disorder. During that summer i lost a lot of weight and had become the image i wanted. Of course it all came at a price. Although i was thin i still lived every day with the same insecurity's i grew up with. I chose the wrong paths and the wrong relationships. By 16 years of age i was pregnant. I had my first child on march 15 1999. Due to my pregnancy i ballooned to a whooping 300 LBS. The father of my son was not able to coupe with my weight and the restraints of being a father and so at 17 i was divorced, a single mom, an weighing in at over 300 LBS.
             
                Feeling lost once again i made the wrong choices. In a sad attempt at finding myself i turned to empty relationships, drugs and of course food. I am choosing to be as open as i can in my story but please understand that was a part of my life i truly regret. My son was diagnosed with autism at this point and i can truly say i felt completely lost. I was sadly dependent on my family to care for me and my son.
              
               My light. Through all darkness you can always see the light. As my life fell apart around my i was able to gain a greater perspective of what truly mattered in my life. By my 21 birthday i cleaned up went back to school, and i was doing all i could to become a better person. I wish i could say that losing weight was a part of this transformation but it was not. I was still weighting in at over 230 LBS. My self esteem was as low as ever.

             My peace came with the beginning of a relationship with now husband. We met in 03. He was a air men in the USAF. He didn't judge me on my weight ,and he cared for my son as his own. We were married 6 months later. I became pregnant the same year. I gave birth to a healthy baby June 05. I was again up to 300 LBS.

            I worked out every day to try and loss the weight but some how never lost a pound. This became a very hard thing for me to except. I started going to see dietitians, doctors , physical therapist, anyone who might help me loss the weight. Nothing worked. I became very depressed once again.

          My new chapter stated when i once again became pregnant in 06. I gave birth to a health baby in may of 07. Unfortunately my husband was deployed over seas for his then 3rd deployment. He was not able to be there for the birth of both of his children. After i had my child i remember hoping to get on the scale and see 50LBS just go away... but it didn't. I lost 10 LBS after birth. June 07 i was 320 LBS. I couldn't take it anymore. I went to my doctor and we started the process for me to get a gastric bypass. During this time my oldest son became hospitalize after not being able to coupe with his step father being gone and the new baby. Taking care of my children while trying to take care of my oldest son while in the hospital again took its toll and by the end of the ordeal i was 360 LBS.

        My family fought are way through the hard times. By the first week of October my surgery had been approved.  I opted to have the gastric before my husband came home in hopes of losing some weight before he came back. October 23 2007 i went into surgery. During my operation i had to have my gal bladder removed. ( my doctor is not sure but did tell me that my gal bladder was deformed and was not able to process the fat.) I remember the first 24 hours were terrible. The pain was very intense but i made it through. I went home the next day.

       My first month i lost over 30 LBS. By 3 months i has lost over 60. I was very very happy with how fast i was losing weight but with all the weight loss i lost a large amount of hair. I was also having complications with blackouts. It was a real fight over the next year trying to stick with the plan, not cheat on my diet, and exercise. by my 1 year mark tho i was down to 180 LBS. I was eating right and had adapted a great exercise plan.
 
      With all the weight loss it was time to start fixing my body. In July of 2008 i had a full body lift. Once again i can tell you the pain is far more then i can explain. From this surgery i gained so much confidence. I was not afraid to wear tight close. I was not afraid to even try clothes on. I wanted to shop. It was great. My husband although he loved me for who i was looked at me different. Everything was changing and all for the better.

    My husband cross trained in 09. He had to go to California for 5 months to learn his new job, so myself and are children packed up and joined him. This is a moment that changed my life! While in California i decided to do some sexy pictures for myself and my husband. I showed up nervous, i felt ugly and really depressed. They did my hair and make up, put me in some of there beautiful clothes( which BTW i fit into a size medium) and they had me start to pose. I left this photo shot feeling different, beautiful,and confident. 1 month later i was asked to go to the playboy mansion to represent the company. I accepted. Once again they did my hair and makeup. I have never been so scared in my life. I was going to the playboy mansion with my husband. I was terrified my husband would ignore me and that all of the beautiful women would make me want to cry. Nothing was farther from the truth. I looked amazing my husband couldn't take is eyes off of me and believe it or not the play boy model asked to have me pose with them.


      We Have since moved to Vegas Where i am now a professional model and photographer. the beginning of this year i got a breast augmentation and my arms reduced.I weight 150 LBS, and i have never been so a happy.I exercise 4 days a week and make the right choices in meals.I feels like it was such a long road and to be honest i don't think it will ever be over. I still need to get my legs fixed, and i always want some chocolate but i am happy and confidante with who i am. That is something i truly find priceless! Do i regret any of this? No what i have gained is more then i can ever express to any of you! It is a trip worth taking!!! I am always happy to help out with any questions you might have. I really am a open book.


About Me
NV
Location
25.7
BMI
Mar 06, 2011
Member Since

Before & After
rollover to see after photo

Friends 20

×