Cassandra77

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

Ok Guys...don't talk bad about me.  Lol.  I know it's been a looooong time since I've posted...but well, I just never have time.  I do log in really fast & browse, but never time to post or update profile.
However....I think this update to my profile is worth ignoring my 3 year old for a few minutes.  :-)
Soooooo it's official..... (drumroll please).... I have finally beat my lowest RNY weight!  My lowest RNY weight was 185, and I am weighing in at 180!  16 months post RNY to DS revision.  And the good thing is that I dont feel like I'm stopping yet.  I feel like an extra 20-30 pounds are still possible and within my reach.   I'm excited and do in fact  my DS!!

Almost 2 months later.... I'm following up, but I gotta make it quick.
I'm not going to lie...the first month was hard...really hard!  The eating & the managing of the pain.  As long as I took the pain meds I was ok actually, but I think it was a mental thing. I have never been on pain meds for so long...I was just ready to be off of them.   I wasn't able to stop taking them until the beginning of this month....and when I did, I experienced a sort of withdrawal. I couldn't sleep and had the jitters for almost 1 week.  And there's not too much you can do about it except wait it out. 
Right now I'm 2 months & 8 days out..and down 40 pounds.  I had a little bit of a stall for a while.  I had to really try not to be too worried about it (since I went through it with the RNY and know better), but my mind still sometimes got the best of me. I'm glad the scale has started to move again though. 

As far as eating goes...I still feel a little lost.  Sometimes I'll just wander around the kitchen.  Leave, then come back, then leave again. Repeat.  
I've discovered that KFC original chicken legs REALLY agree with me.  LOL.  I keep saying I'm going to buy a bucket and just keep it in the fridge here at work.   I've always liked chicken, but I wanted to make sure I don't limit myself to that because I don't believe there's enough fat in chicken.  But for now, that's what's agreeing with me.

Ohh... my clothes are starting to fit again.  That's the biggest thing for me.  Even if I had lost only 10 lbs...as long as my clothes start fitting again, I'm happy.    I think I'm starting to get to the point where the benefits are going to start outweighing my eating woes.  

I can't say I love my DS yet, but I can definitely say I adore it more than my RNY already.  Just yesterday I took a few sips of orange juice (knowing I shouldn't) and I kind of braced myself...just waiting for the "dumping" symptoms...and nothing.  :-)  I've done this several times...and then it's like I instantly remember... "OH yeah! I'm a DS'er now! Screw the RNY!" 

Hi. Just checking in.   I had my follow up appointment on Friday the 23rd...and the last 2 drains were pulled out.  Leaving the feeding tube.  Which isn't as much of a hassle as the 2 drains were.  

I've lost 13 pounds so far, which was unexpected.  I mean, I was hoping I would lose weight, but I also know revisions are slower...so I wasn't expecting that much so fast.   With that being said...I hope it keeps going. :-)

Alright...gotta get the kids in bed. Will check in again soon.

Hi. I just wanted to report that I got home yesterday evening, and I'm doing ok. 
My surgery lasted about 7 hours.  Dr. Rabkin said everything went well.  Not too many adhesion's.. and 2 small hernias to fix.  I woke up with 3 drains, a feeding tube and in lots of pain.  However, after a few shots of morphine....and some time spent getting to know my PCA pump, it was well under control. 
While in hospital I underwent 1 iron transfusion to bring up my iron levels.  It was unsuccessful so I was transfused 2 units of blood. 

It was real nice to have Cathi (buffalobillsfan) as my switch sister, we walked the halls together a a couple of times and even met up in the other's room. 

I wanted to thank everyone for their prayers and well wishes.  It meant sooo much to me. 
Oh and thank you for the visit Kerry, it was really good to see you.  You look great! 

Soooo, right now I'm trying to get all this gas out. Walking does help, however as soon as I'm done walking I feel it moving all around again, and it starts hurting again.  Gas X does the same.  I know it will eventually go away...so I'll keep walking and sipping. 

Thank you to all!

Cassandra  (gotta go take a nap now)

Soooo... on the 1st I received a call from Dr. Rabkin's office giving me a surgery date of 10/12!  Wow! I certainly wasn't ready for that one.  So since then I've been running around like a mad woman trying to get all pre-op clearances done.  And finish collecting what's needed of my medical records.  Damn Kaiser is dragging their feet on everything.  
Today I am trying to convince my PCP to order the additional labs that I requested...and to order them as STAT.  But she's like..ohhhh.. it will only take 1-2 days to show up online.  I'm like..do you not understand what I am saying when I say my surgery is on OCT 12TH?  Uggghhh... I swear.. as soon as it's plausible, I am switching from Kaiser.. and I will never return!   I just can't believe they are giving me such a hard time.  
Good thing though is that I'm so busy with all this madness, I have very little time to feel nervous. 
Well....   5 more days until surgery. 

Today I received my letter from the DMHC and  was informed that they have overturned Kaiser's denial.  Kaiser has 5 days to authorize my revision from RNY to DS with Dr. Rabkin.   I'm so excited.  Not sure what I do now, but I'm still so excited.  I'm sure I just wait to hear from Dr Rabkins office. 
OVERTURNED...! Can you believe it?  I'm so excited because I've been feeling so bad about myself lately.   I'm soooo ready to feel normal again.  I thank God for making a way.  I thank God for his blessings. 
I also thank everyone on this site for being so helpful and guiding me through the process... especially Larra and Diana.  It takes a special kind of person to help a complete stranger with such an important, personal, and detailed process.  Thank you both again.

Cassandra

Ok. I called on Monday 9/14 to check status of IMR...still pending... no answer yet.  She said I should hear something within the week.   I didn't hear anything.  So I called yesterday 9/21...still pending & no answer yet.   I'm getting more and more nervous.   The 26th will be 45 days exactly.   Hope I get an answer soon.    I've been feeling really bad lately about my weight.    I feel like I'm 100 years old... hauling all this weight around.  My back hurts, my knees hurt, my legs feel like their about to break, and my heels hurt.     I get sad thinking the dmhc will not overturn & I will be this way or worse for the rest of my life...    I dont have enough energy to do things with my kids...or take walks with my husband (because my back starts hurting).   I feel so uncomfortable with myself I dont even want to have sex anymore.  I feel sorry for my husband. 

I get frustrated because I hate eating.   Thinking about it makes me want to cry.   Going out to eat sucks..or even eating at familys house. I actually feel a bit of anxiety before eating.  I cant stand it because I eat about 1/4 of my plate....they eat 2-3 plates full.  Not saying I want to eat more, but I'm the only 300 pound person and I dont even eat that much.  And to top it all off...everyone knows I had RNY, but I'm fat!   It's so embarassing.    Nothing fits anymore.   Well let me take that back... my "before" pants fit now.  The bras I just bought 2 months ago don't fit.  Right now I'm wearing my old nursing sleep bras from 2 years ago...and even those are feeling uncomfortable. 

I can't look at myself without feeling so disgusted.  I can't stand the way I look.  I hate it.  I really do.  I wish I could rewind back 5 years & not have WLS.  Back then I didn't even feel as bad about myself.  Now it's bad because I lost & then regained it ALL back.  ALL of it.  Not 25%, not half.. not almost all.  ALL OF IT! I feel embarassed every single day. I wish I could just stay in the house and hide so no one would have to see me. 

Sooooo  the 11th was 30 days, and I haven't heard anything. I know it's 30-45 days...so I'm being patient.  I know I can probably call and see if there is an outcome, but I'm too scared.  Too scared to hear no!   I've been thinking about it sooo much lately.  What will I do if the answer is no?  I'll go crazy I'm sure.  I feel like this is my last hope.  Maybe I'll get the nerve up this coming week to call.  I don't know.     Also, I've been spending soooo much time looking at the DMHC IMR decisions websites.   I keep reading them over and over and over again....   I probably have them all memorized.    

Oh...I forgot to mention that I got a letter from Kaiser showing the information they were sending to my DMHC case worker.  They had all kinds of mis information.   They said I had lost 186 lbs w/ RNY, when really I had lost 128 lbs.  They also had the wrong surgery date.   They also said I said I was sporadic about following my RNY guidelines....which is something I would never say.   I mean seriously...even if I was (which I followed all my guidelines to a T).. what sense does that make for me to say that to my doctor?    Like... Oh I just do what I want..when I want..however I want...but I still don't understand why I'm gaining.  Please!  They are so stupid.  They also referenced my weight in their letter for whatever reason...they used a date of 8/13/2007...the day before I gave birth. So when I was 9 months pregnant. Hello?  That doesn't even make sense.   

So anyway...  I immediately got a letter to the caseworker telling them of all their misinformation.  Hopefully that helped.

Well, I'll post back if I hear anything..or if I decide to call

Soooo... I called the DMHC on Monday, 8/10 to see if my packet had been received.  John told me no, and to call back today & see if they had it, if not to fax it over.   I called today..and got John again... he put me on hold.  Came back and asked how to spell my name.    Told him...then he found it.  He said he was spelling Cassandra with one S.  He said it was received and accepted as an IMR on 8/11/2009.   Sooo... 30-45 days from August 11th.  Keeping my fingers crossed.


CasSandra... lol

XOXO

Well.... I did it!  I sent off my IMR request to the DMHC on Friday. They should have it tomorrow.  I'm a little nervous, because I was reading some of the other IMR revision request on their website...and majority of the revision request were denied.   I wonder what it depends on.  The person who does the IMR?  Or what?  I just hope mine is strong enough... and shows that I really did try.  And no matter what I ate, I still gained.  And that I was given a stupid weight loss surgery...instead of the platinum one.  I guess there's nothing more to do at this point...but wait.  Take a deep breath...and wait..  Keep your fingers crossed.


Cassandra