7/31/15

Jul 31, 2015

Here I am just struggling.  Not with my food but my emotions.  I am so used to using food to cover up stuff and today that is not an option.  I am sad and grieving the loss of someone very special to me.  I created the situation and now I have to deal with the consequences of it.  I should not have gotten involved in the first place but his affirming comments and acceptance of my weight and still seeing me as desirable sucked me in.    He loves me and I love him but I am married.   We never did anything physically but emotionally we were very intimate.    He set the boundaries not me and I'm supposed to be the "healthier" person.  I have left God out of my life for a while because I knew what I was doing was wrong.  I am so grateful God's love never fails and he never runs out on me.  I love my husband but obviously need to work on that relationship.  This other guy gave me something my husband is not giving me.  Not sure exactly what that is but I am willing to explore the issue.  I can't just be his friend-it hurts too much but ending the relationship hurts too.  I will still see him around which makes things super hard.   I have to go through these feelings without food.  Oh God it hurts. 

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