cathymc911
My name is Cathy McFadon and this is my story
I decided to change my story so for those who saw my original post I did some soul searching and my story seemed to easy. I really did some thinking and had to get to basis of my obesity and my disease and addiction to food, yes I am a food addict!
Growing up I was always that thin kid. I was always very athletic. There was a reason however, I was the thin kid growing up. My life evolved around food. You see my parents were working low class. I can remember a lot of times through out my life going to bed hungry. I went to school most of my life with out breakfast. When we could afford Cereal it was always the nice sugary stuff. The other thing was you prayed you had Milk, we could always, and did always add water to make sure it would last until the next paycheck. There were even times that my sisters and I recall my mother sending us to a friends of ours to play in hope their parents would invite us to stay for dinner, just so we could eat.
Times goes on and now I enter Jr.High school. We moved to an area outside of fresno called Clovis. I went to a Jr High school were most of the kids wore the bran names and all their parents were of either middle class or upper class. I was ridiculed,teased,hit,stolen from,yelled at daily for two years. This was my first bout with depression. I had no money and was given a dollar a day for lunch money, this bought me maybe a pizza pocket if I could find a dime on the school grounds or scrape it from the couch at home.
Times goes and now I am in High School. Not only am I in High School, but my family moved to an entire new city. I had to start High School and try to make friends. I would of rather of had my teeth pulled out. I was horribly shy, and after the drama in Jr. High terrified of being ridiculed again. I remember spending long days in class being so hungry, I was lucky to get a dollar a day for lunch, this would barely buy me anything. I wasn't able to buy anything in the school lunch room, and all I could afford at our snack area was a pack of chocolate donuts. I would eat this and ooo ya I played sports. An entire day was spent on a package of donuts. I even was in trouble once for taking my moms last dollar just so I could eat one day.
I had a rocky home life, with parents who were hard on me, a father who was an alcoholic and abusive to my mother. I was beaten when I was sixteen years old when I came home from a church function late. They thought I had been out with a boy and brought me home, I was never able to get the words out that It was the pastor that brought me home
I made it to my Jr year were I met a guy and dated him so I could basically have a place to go eat. I got a job and was playing high school sports. When I had my own money I had to make car payments,gas on my own, and whatever I had left over I was told I had to provide my own lunch. Again food wow..big part in my life. I didnt have good eating habits and now that I had some money I was hungry, so what does a kid do. well you hit every cheap Fast food place you can. So I started to pack on some pounds
I graduated and went to Jr. College where I met my first husband. Who later becomes a police officer and also has a weight issue. I packed on the pounds and my wedding dress was a size 18. He was fired from an agency and we divorced after a year and half of marriage. At this point during our dating and marriage I had lost 60lbs. I was hot...I had a great body, and I got alot of attention! He got hired by another agency and I continued on my law enf career path.
When I got back into dispatching along came abusive relationships. I knew that there was one old friend that had been with me since I was a child "FOOD!". so with a six year abusive relationship,I packed on some of that weight I loss. I met another great guy, got engaged, that also ended terribly in between my nervous break down from our split, I had guess what "FOOD" again.! Sooo I packed on some more weight.
I finally healed and met this wonderful man. We had a spiritual connection We were soulmates. He touched my life like no other had. We both kinda drifted I gave him space that he took and kept on running. I will never forget he said "sometimes soul mates can not be together". He is right, also I know we have several soul mates in a life time. So I again turned to food and guess what ooo ya i put on all the weight I lost plus some by now.
I was good friends with a wonderful man at my center. He was also a dispatcher. We enjoyed each others company. He was a nice man, treated me like no one has ever, kind honest and alot of integrity. He cooks cleans I thought wow...he is great.. So we decided to fall in love and get married and have two children. Our family is our life. There has alway been a huge black cloud that has hung over us this cloud would be the cloud of "weight" this is what is in my black cloud, that has followed me all my life
depression,unworthiness,low self esteem,no self control,no motivation,fear,anger,hurt,self pity,resentment,bitterness.
I release this cloud. I have decided to be re-born into the sunshine. I have decided that I am taking control once and for all over my life. I will not constantly think of you food anymore! I say good bye to you and to the armor you have covered me with all my life, I release you forever
My name is Cathy McFadon and this is my story.
