cathyteal

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I haven't blogged in awhile, but I need to get back to it.  It was an easy road until about 6 months ago.  Weight stopped coming off so easily, schedule at home changed so I could not get to the gym as much.  I was able to eat more and did not "dump" on anyting. Started realizing that I could eat things I did not eat before.  I tried it, in moderation, but when I started eating bread...or not actually bread...but  CRACKERS.  That was the end of it.  It was my "trigger" food and I fell hopelessly in the cycle of refined carbs and hunger.  I gained a couple of pounds, then a couple more before I realized it.  Now I'm up from the least I had weighed *171 to 187. 

I am so dissapointed in myself, but am determined to beat this.  I can not eat these things.  Carbs are like drugs to me and I have to realize that I just can not have these foods anymore.  NO CRACKERS....Treadmill in the living room.  I am determined not to become a failure statistic.  I will blog again in 30 days so I can track myself and be an inspration to everyone.  Even to myself. 

I have lost 110 pounds as of today.  I ran/walked my first 5K yesterday.  This was a personal goal of mine.  I just kept thinking how I would have felt pre-surgery.  It would have been like carrying another person on my shoulders...I can't imagine the extra pressure on my ankles and knees, not to mention the rest of my body.  This is what I was carrying around with me EVERY DAY of my life.  I was in such denial about what the fat was doing to my body! 

I am not preaching to anyone else.  I don't have the best track record in the world where this is concerned.  All I know is how much better I feel and what an incredible personal accomplishment this is for me.  I wish I had done this 30 years ago.  What a waste of time!   I plan to make the most of every day I have left on this earth. 

I am down 66 pounds this morning.  This is the loss from the date that I first saw Dr. Weaver.   I am weighing less than I did when I came home from the hospital when my son was born in 1971!   I even weigh less than I ever did when I took the dreaded Phen-Phen and lost a ton of weight several years back (only to gain it back)!

I feel great!   I look great and I have become a much more positive thinker.  I am not worried about the food that I can not eat or do not want to eat.  I hove finally started eating to live and not living to eat.  I feel full with just little portions and am beginning to tolerate more dense protein.   I feel as if I can use my new "tool" to help me keep striving for a better life.  Life is good and I know it is only going to get better if I follow the guidelines and get all my vitamins and protein in as I should.  . 
I want to be an inspiration not only to myself, but to others.   I want to pass the support down to others who are struggling with keeping the weight off'.   We have been able to initiate a support group for our county.  It is just going to start out small at first, but we have a place to meet and a date and time.  I am really excited about it.  

Some of us will still be attending the St. Francis Hospital from Fayette County.    If anyone is interested, just PM me and I will give you the info.    



 

I can not believe that it's finally over.  The surgery went great with no complications.  I was sore for a little while, but after the staples were removed in the 2nd week, I was able to move better without the skin pulling and the healing really sped up after that. 

I have started back to the gym and although it was hard to get back up to the levels that I was at before, I have finally reached those levels this week and feel much better. 

I am so happy that I did this.  So far so good.  I have lost a total of 45 pounds since the first time I saw the Dr. and have lost 20 since surgery.   I wish I had done this 30 years ago.  My only fear is that I will be so wrinkled after years of being overweight, that I will look very old.  I guess that genes will play a part in what happens.   The only problem with that is that I am adopted, so I have very limited information about my genes, especially on my birth fathers side. (No information).  Oh well, I'm sure I can just wait and see.  Maybe it will be a positive surprise.  

I have made it through the pre-op diet to full liquids today.   The surgery is tomorrow!  I am so greatful for the OH message boards and the support that is available there.  I am inspired by their stories and have gained knowledge by their experience in fighting the weight battle. 

This has been a long road with a few stumbles and setbacks, but it is finally here and I am looking forward to the new me! I can hardly wait! 

Congratulations to ME!

I am actually going to start the pre-op diet tomorrow.  I am having many different emotions.  Part of me is afraid of the unknown, but mostly I am just so ready to move into a more positive place in my life.  I have dreamed of being "normal" all my life.  I see this as my body finally catching up with the rest of me.  I have the utmost confidence in my abilities and accomplishments, but absoloutly no confidence in my outward appearence.  I am finally going to be whole, if anyone can understand that.  I'm not sure I understand if completely myself, but it is what I feel. 

Stay tuned for the next chapter of the story.   Surgery Day .....FEB 9th!

As I said in my last post, this journey is filled with ups and downs.  Yesterday was an UP!   The Drs office sent me to the hospital for pre-op tests.   They took about 6 viles of blood, and ekg and chest xray.  In addition, I went to the business office and pre-paid my deductables. and co-pays for the hospital bill.    I have been re-certified by the insurance company. 

It looks like all I have to do is go on my pre-op diet (liver shrink) on the 26th of January and show up at the hospital on the 9th of Feb.  \

I am so excited!  It looks like this is really going to happen.  I think I feel the new me rumbling around inside saying LET ME OUT!

There have been so many ups and downs since starting this WLS journey.  I breezed through the required nutrition classes and got my PCP to get all the information for the insurance company in record time.  I was ready to get the show on the road.  My usual "take the bull by the horns and get things done" way.  NOT SO FAST>>>>>>>>.  There was one little problem.  My stress test showed a blood flow problem and I had to be referred to a cardio Dr. for evaluation before I could be considered for surgery. 

In the middle of all this, my mother, who lives with us since having a stroke in 2006 was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.  My husband and I discussed this and we decided that I should go forward with my surgery and he would help me take care of mom.
 
I went to the Cardio Dr. and of course he wanted me to have a heart cath. before he could tell what the problem was.  Was I surprised when he told me I had a 95% blockage in my heart?   No, but I was scared to death.  I had to have a stint put in my heart prior to any WLS surgery.  I got it all done quickly so I could be released for surgery. I needed to get my surgery  before my mother got worse. 

I had my 1st appointment with Dr. Weaver on Oct. 3, 2008.   My surgery was scheduled for Dec 22ND.  It was looking like everything was starting to fall in place again.  I  explained to the Dr. the situation with my Mom and she  was able to get me scheduled before the end of the year which was when my insurance approval expired.   I was so happy.  I was going to be able to get things done prior to any problems with my Mom.  NOT SO FAST.>>>>>>>>>

On the way to the cancer Dr. with my Mom.  I got a call from the Dr"s office on my cell phone.   They were having to cancel my surgery and reschedule it for February.   I was speechless.  Apparently there had been a mix up in insurance certifications since the Dr. went into private practice and my insurance company  had to re certify her before I could have my surgery as an in network surgery.  I just pulled over on the side of the road, put my head in my hands and cried like a baby.  

In the weeks that passed I tried everything I could to get an exception made so that I could get my surgery sooner rather than later.    I have seen many folks that I had met in nutrition class have their surgeries.  I am happy for them but it was very painful for me to watch.  I found out quickly that in cases of WLS surgery scheduling and insurance company red tape we can become like numbers and not real people with issues that might require some TLC.  

My surgery has been rescheduled for Feb. 9Th.   My insurance is going to expire on Dec. 31st.  Now I will have to wait to see if my insurance company has changed any of their criteria that would stop me from getting an extension to have the surgery.  None of this is my fault, but if they have changed my insurance criteria I might be SOL (for those of you who don't know what that means PM me and I will fill you in).  Not to mention that no one has indicated that they were going to make adjustments to the cost or reimburse me for the new deductibles that will have to be paid after the end of the year. 

I have decided to take the high road.....There is actually nothing else I can do.  My mothers health is holding out so far.  I am taking this one day at a time. 

The moral of this story so far is ......Don't expect the expectable,  be prepared for a bumpy ride and don't expect anybody to take responsibility for any mess ups. 


I am sure that in hindsight a year or so from now,  this will be just a bad memory.   I am counting on being so proud of my new self and hoping that I can throw the insulin pump that I am wearing in the Mississippi River!   I just hope my mom will be able to see the new me.