cattywompos
6 months post op
Apr 13, 2011
Haven't blogged in ages, thought it was about time. So much has changed in the last couple months. Most noticably is that I am finally truly happy and content. I feel great, I feel normal and I have settled into my new life. What I mean by new life is the changes in diet, adding exercise, and of course my new sense of self. I think I am finding "me" again. For so long I was hiding from the world, hiding from life. I was literally sleeping and eating my life away and with every added pound I sunk deeper into that way of life. I was on a steady downward spiral. I now realize more than ever that I NEEDED this surgery. Surgery gave me the boost to get myself started on a better path. Once those first few pounds came off I was able to walk better, once I detoxed and got all the junk out of my system I was feeling better and the more I lose the better I feel. As of my 6 month surgiversary I had lost a total of 78lbs since my heaviest weight at the start of my journey. I still have a hard time looking at myself in the mirror and seeing a big difference but I can finally see it in pictures. Most importantly I feel better. I am amazed at how much I have progressed from this woman that could hardly walk 50 feet with out breathing heavily to a woman who walks for 30 minutes on the treadmill on an incline, fast and hardly breaks a sweat. One of my proudest moments was when I took my bike out for my first post op ride a couple weeks ago. Last year I hardly made it a quarter mile without stopping and this year I can ride 4+ miles with ease. And my butt doesn't hurt from the seat nearly as much :) I also don't feel like such a freak out in public. At 304lbs you are a freak, you are heavier than the norm, even heavier than the normal heavy. When I see people that are extremely overweight now I look at them with sadness because I have been there. I have been where you aren't able to literally "fit" into society. They don't make chairs that big, bathroom stalls that big, seat belts that big. Now I fit much better. I love to find chairs that I knew I would never be able to sit in before and see if my butt fits. It always does now. Sometimes snuggly, but it does and I don't feel like I am overflowing if that makes sense. I never went into this expecting to be one of the "thin" people. I just want to be normal and I am getting there ounce by ounce and pund by pound!