cdotson
I can't wait for this to be over. I am looking forward to a new life. Had an IVC filter implanted on July 26 to ensure that not blood clots interfere with my new life.
I have been trying for almost 7 years to get this surgery completed. It took changing from Kaiser to PacifiCare to make my WLS dream a reality. There are only two weeks and counting until August 11.
The first photo is was in August 2001 when I weighed 470lbs. The next is February 2005 when I weighed 420 and the last one is in June of this year when I weighed 402. I have lost weight but I seem to plateau at around 400. This is the reason why I am having the surgery. The love of my life Monica (with me in pic 2) has been a godsend through these final steps to my surgery. She does not know it yet but I am going to purpose to her early next year. Shhhhh, don't tell her. It's a surprise.
July 26, 2005.
Have IVC placement in Auburn to prevent blood clots from entering my lungs and heart. The procedure was a success. Got a clot 3 days later and I am still breathing. Yeah!!! It works.
August 2, 2005
The thoughts go through my head as finish my guardianship papers, advance directives, living will, and other paperwork to be notarized. I worry about my two daughters who are 7 and 9. Being a single father you don't worry about your children's well being until something that could possibly happen to you and what will happen to them. This is the part about this process that is the most stressful for me.
I watched them sleep the other night and flashed back to when they were born and how I spent my many nights trying to put them back to sleep (LOL). I can't imagine my life without my little hearts or what might happen to them if I demise. They are a little scared and I re-assure them that I will be fine. I have been exercising for over a year just for to be physically fit not just for the procedure but also for life.
The anxiety is sometimes overwhelming. I don't care what people say, something like this will make "any" man cry.
August 3, 2005 (8 days before surgery)
I am at work trying to make through the day without worry about the surgery. I have the utmost support from my co-workers. They tell me not to get too stuck up being skinny and handsome. I tell them that I will try not too but I will need a mirror in my cubicle (LOL).
August 5, 2005
I had my pre-op appointment yesterday. Told physician assistant about some pains from where IVC was placed. Have to take a cardio persantine study on August 8 and 9. This is to ensure that my heart is strong enough to handle this. A stress test was done before and they said that I could handle it. I don't see why now makes a difference. Go figure.
August 7, 2005
I am fighting off a bacterial infection. I was given anti-biotics.
August 8, 2005
Have nuclear medicine scan of heart. Hey look! I am radioactive man. These are the last deciding test for the surgery. It kind of bites to have them in the last two days before the surgery.
August 9, 2005
I had my last test today. Hopefully will not have any problems and surgery is a go.
August 10, 2005
I get to sit at home and have bowel prep. That was a very crappy experience. No pun intended (yes it was). I feel a lot of anxiety as tomorrow comes. The kids are staying with grandma and I am at my house by myself. This is a weird feeling. All of the measures have been put in place including guardianship, living will and advance directives. I still think about what if something goes wrong. Then I just slap myself a couple of times and move on. I don't feel like eating just soup so I just drink fluids all day.
I call the girls later on that night and tell them that I love them very much and will see them soon. They can feel the anxiety in my voice and tell me that it will be okay.
August 11, 2005 (Surgery Day!!!!)
Monica and I arrived at 5:45 am at Sutter Auburn Faith Hospital at 5:45 am and since I was already registered we were taken to the back to the prep area. They actually got a robe that I could wear (yeah!). Watched television for a while they got the I.V. started. So far so good. About 7:20 I got up to go the bathroom and when I returned there were several medical personnel at my bed. The anxiety kicked into high gear thinking that this was actually going to happen. My pulse raced as they were explaining what was going to happen. I was talking to the surgeon, surgeon assistant and the anesthesiologist about what was going to take place. As I was wheeled into the operating room I thought about my girls. I took their picture with me into the operating room. This gave the re-assurance that they are with me through this procedure. This gave more of calm while I was in there. I never let go of the picture during my stay at the hospital. I remember talking to the P.A. Linda and then the lights went out!!!!
A New Start-
Came to about 4 hours later in ICU. Monica was at my side as well as the nurses in ICU. They excelled in taking care of me during my stay at the hospital. My advice while you are there, use the medicine “happy” button. Don’t feel like you are superman and can take the pain. It is a different pain I will tell you. In the month of August I have lost the most weight. I lost 27lbs in the first week. Man that was fast. Went down to 385lbs from 412lbs. I did not know what to think. Thought that the scale was wrong. I thought that this is a start. I did not know what to think except to keep going.
The worst part in the first week was when I started having feelings of “what in the hell have I done to myself?” I lost my composure with my love Monica and tried to throw her out of my house so that I could wallow in self-pity. There was a lot of it. Monica did not deserve what I did to her and I felt so bad. I had crying fits trying to adapt to the new me. I missed the old me and it hard knew that I could not go back ever again.
September 2005
Trying to get use to eating and drinking less. It is a weird feeling so far. For this month I am down 54lbs. It seems like it is starting to slow down and that is okay. I have had a few incidents of vomiting. Mostly because of eating too fast. The trial and error phase is the hardest one. Even with a meal plan and a list of the foods that are recommended, your body will tell you if you can tolerate the foods. Starting to feel better. I no longer take any medications any more for diabetes, high blood pressure or pain anymore. This is a good thing. All vitals are in the good range. This is a great feeling.
October 2005
Still having problems with vomiting but it is getting better. My kids noticed the difference right away this month in how my clothes fit. They tell me how proud they are of me. The Iso Pure is totally nasty to take down. Once it is finished then I will change to a different flavor. I tried a sample of other flavors and they were more tolerable and some even tasted good. Weight loss has increased to about 3.5lbs/week. I am not getting back in to the gym. It is weird to be able to last more than 15 minutes on treadmill. I am currently doing about ¾ miles on the treadmill. I will try to increase it next month.
For this month I am down 87lbs as of 10/31/05. I am having problems with going to the bathroom. Sometimes I go 3-4 times a day and sometimes I would not go for 3-4 days. My surgeon told me that it happens. He also gave me a fiber supplement just in case I was constipated. Sometimes it happened. It is a very painful experience.
November 2005
Holidays are around the corner and this will be my first actual social function. I actually go to photograph a friend’s wedding on the 4th. I had my first lunch post-op in San Francisco. I was a little skittish about ordering anything. Luckily my friend Julie, also WLS post op patient, helped me in ordering. I ordered a chicken sandwich without the bread or sauce. I did pretty good and no vomiting. That is one threshold that I was waiting for and I passed it with flying colors.
On turkey day, I had some turkey and vegetables and did very well. A funny thing was people were offering me everything under the sun and I had to gently remind them that I could not have it. I got a chance to tell my story about my surgery to family members (future family members) regarding the surgery and the process pre and post. At the end of November I am down 101.5lbs. (Currently 310.5lbs) Man!!!!!!!!! That is flipping awesome. I am feeling so much better and have more energy. I do over 2 miles on the treadmill. My furthest distance right now is 3.5 miles. I am focusing on toning up and cardio as well.
December 2005
The vomiting problems are getting much better. I hardly do it anymore. It is more of a mind conditioning and the physical is a subset of the mental. I am working out 5 days a week at the wellness center at my job. Some of the people that I worked out with on a regular basis I don’t see anymore. I know that I am more motivated to achieve my weight loss goals even though my partners don’t work out with me anymore. My co-workers tell me everyday how proud they are of me and how good I look. It is kind of hard not to smile when they say that. I even had an article published at my job with the 67lbs that I lost prior to the surgery.
My fiancé (officially proposed) brought me a pair of pants that were a lot smaller than I am use to wearing. Okay…
It was an experience. She asked me to try them on and I told her that she was nuts. I tried on the pants and they fit. I went from a size 66 to 48 waist. I have dropped 18 pants sizes. I began to cry looking at myself in the mirror. What a totally awesome feeling.
January 2006 (HAPPY NEW YEAR!)
It is definitely a new year and a new outlook on life. For the year 2005 post op I have lost 116lbs and all together including working out and changing diet I have lost 183lbs. I have been having some problems with eating pork. It seems to be one of the foods that I seem to have intolerance to. Oh well, no more pork chops. LOL
I have dropped two more inches to a size 46 in pants. I have gone from a 5x shirt to a 2x. I am finding it difficult to adapt to shopping at “normal” stores. I have been waiting to get fitted for my tuxedo until May. Don’t want to wear a tuxedo that is too big. LOL. For the month of January I have lost 11 more pounds. I am now 283lbs, down from 412lbs pre op weight. It is such a good feeling.
February 2006
This has been a pretty quiet month. I did get a write up on my weight loss and utilizing the wellness center at work. They call me the “incredible shrinking man.” It gives me a special feeling that my co-workers are backing my in my weight loss goals. I found better vitamins that are easier to consume. They are the Centrum chewable vitamins. I am working out 5 days a week at the wellness center at work. For pennies on the dollar, you can’t go wrong. I am still having problems with pork. I will leave it alone for a while if not leave it out of my diet. I visited my surgeon and he said that I was doing remarkable. He asked me if I would participate in the Bariatric fashion show in June 2006. I told him that I would be on my honeymoon. I told him that if I was back by the time of the show that I would participate. It sounds like a great opportunity for me. For this month I have lost 11 more pounds. I am not down to 272lbs from 412lbs pre op. I have lost a total of 140lbs in 6 months. The total loss since the start of this journey has been 207lbs. I did not think that I had another person attached to until I saw the picture.
March 2006
Things are going pretty well. I have looked for more clothes to buy. LOL The weight loss is slowing down to a crawl. A loss is a loss I say. I am still going to the gym 5 days a week and toning as much as I can so that I do not get corrective surgery on my extra skin. I have only had two incidents of vomiting. Both of those were related to trying new foods. It is trial and error. For this month I have lost only 3lbs but I am building muscle mass. It is funny to look at myself and see definition in my muscle. Man, I look good. LOL I am now down to 269.25lbs
April 2006
Went to get fitted for my tuxedo for my wedding in June. I am down from a 66waist to a 44 waist. 22 pants sizes are totally phenomenal!!!! I am still nervous about the wedding so it kind of takes some of worry about my weight loss. My job did a follow up article on my weight loss and how utilizing the gym at work greatly contributed to my success, which it did. I have been told that I am an inspiration to a lot of people at work. They have forwarded my story to their family and friends. This made me feel so wonderful but I did not want to be in the spotlight. Okay, maybe a little. LOL. I changed my workouts to include more cardio and lighter weights. This month I lost 7lbs. No problems with eating this month. I am now 264lbs, 4lbs away from my goal of 260lbs.
MAY 2006!!!
I had the opportunity to tell my story of weight loss for some co-workers. It was a small turnout but it felt like I was on cloud nine. I was totally nervous but ready for it. I need to buy more clothes again. Will get around to it eventually. LOL
On May 6, 2006 I returned to an amusement part after a six-year hiatus from them due to my weight. My fiancé and I went on a ride and I FIT!!!!!! This feeling was totally overwhelming even though it was a sissy ride. LOL. The feeling of being on a ride after six years was more than I could take emotionally but it was a fun day for the both of us.
MAY 8, 2006!!!!! I DID IT!!! I made my goal of 260lbs. My trainers told me how proud they were of me and how hard I worked to make it here. The loss after this is extra but I will work harder and harder to lose more and keep what I have.
May 30, 2006, I am doing much better than I expected. I am not down to 252lbs. I am even more motivated to lose more. I set my new goal to 250 and now I am 2lbs away from my next goal. I have to look good in my tuxedo for my wedding next month. I will not do the last fitting one week before the wedding. I am now down to a size 42 in pants and a 2x shirt is a little big for me. It is a really great feeling to shop in regular stores for a change.
JUNE 2006
This is my wedding month and I am such a bundle of nerves. My weight loss has slowed down but I am not discouraged since I have exceeded my own weight loss expectations. I am still going to the gym at work and working out more on cardio and resistance.
June 18, 2006 (Wedding Day!) All of the work and stress paid off for a beautiful wedding and bride who I love with all my heart and soul. Monica has been my constant source of support and love and we are now married and happy!!!!! Oh, by the way, I can fit into a size 40. YEAH!!!!!!!!
We went to Las Vegas for our honeymoon and had such a wonderful time.
We returned back way too soon. But that is how the cookie crumbles. Coming back to reality we worked on our new place together. At the end of June, I can fit almost totally comfortable in a size 38 pant. I am now 249.5lbs and fit into an extra large shirt. I look GOOD!!! I am approaching 11months post op and I have lost 162.5lbs and a total of 229.5lbs with the help of the Wellness center staff at work.
July 2006
I am still working out hard and still doing trial and error with foods. I still have a problem with pork and dark meat chicken. I am still looking for options besides turkey. Too much of that is kind of boring. I have an appointment with a nutritionist in August. The weight loss is significantly slowing down and I know that I should not be frustrated but I am just a little. I am still around 248. I am having plateau drama. I got to go to Great America again and I went on the Invertigo for the first time since it was built about 6 years ago. I was too big to go on it but I had not problem this time. It was worth the wait!!!!!! So, I went on it twice. My wife saw the look of happiness on my face when I got off the ride. My wife has been a constant source of love, encouragement, strength and all around greatest person that has become my life, my soul, my all. I love her with all my might.
August 2006
August 2, 2006. I had severe pains in my stomach area. I had to go to the hospital via ambulance because I could not drive myself. I had test done to see what the problem was. They eliminated narrowing of the pouch and leaks. That was good. Two other option were and ulcer in the pouch or problem with my gal bladder. Okay, the lesser of two evils? Oh well. My weight so far is fluxing between 248 and 245. I am 165 lbs down post op and 231lbs over all weight loss. Did not know I had that much weight on me. Man that was something.
August 11, 2006. This is my 1 year anniversary since my WLS!!!! What a year this has been in more ways than one. Surgery, married to the love of my life, going on roller coasters again, etc. There are so many things and events that happened in my life that have been both good and bad. You take it as life comes.
September /October 2006
The weight loss has slowed down significantly. I am fluxing between 245 and 252. I have been having problems with the shakes and my blood sugar levels dropping to around 54. I had an ultrasound done to see about pain in my pouch area. I was put on Acifax to help with the pain. It seems to be working. They say that it might be an ulcer in the pouch. I don’t know for sure but I am in good hands.
I am down to a size 40 pants and XL shirt size. That is smaller that I have been in over 20 years. I still have problems with some foods still. I was told that I need to incorporate carbohydrates into my diet now since I am more than 1 year post op.
I got the recent opportunity on October 25, 2006 to attend with my job the California Fit Business Awards in Oakland, CA. My job won the award for the large company category (1000-3000 employees). I was given the honor to share my story with members of the committee, awardees and public on my gastric bypass surgery and how it has impacted my life. I received so many compliments. It made me feel so good. I am still working out 5 days a week in the onsite fitness center at work.
November 2006
Weight loss has slowed to crawl but I am still working out regardless. Some anxiety and depression are setting with the holidays around the corner. It is hard to get use this way of eating but it takes a lot of work. I am still fluxing between 245 and 252. Maybe this is the weight that I am supposed to be. I don’t really know but I have to see what life has ahead for me. I have exceeded my own expectations so I have nothing to be ashamed of.
December, 2006
There is more depression setting in with Christmas coming around the corner. I am having a hard time dealing with it and I don’t know why. I have been having a time dealing with anxiety and stress. This is not my way but I have to deal with it. I am looking forward to Christmas and then again, I am not.
January 2007
My weight is still fluxing up and down. I have been having problems with ongoing stomach pains so I had to reduce my number of workouts. My weight is around 254 now. Now I am getting worried.
February 2007
There is really nothing to write about this month. My weight is still going up and down. I am not able to keep down the protein powder. I had to change to a different brand and flavor. I have been put on an antacid medicine for the pain. I hope that it works. If this does not work, then they are going to put me on a different medication. My weight is going up still. Maybe it is because I am lifting with heavier weights now. It is up to 255 right now. I am going up and I am still getting worried a little more.
March 2007.
Pain has become increasingly worse. I have been put on Prilosec and scheduled for an endoscope procedure to look into the pouch.
April 2007
Endoscope procedure revealed only a small ulcer in the pouch. It was not big enough to create pain that I was having. I will keep taking the Prilosec in the mean time. My weight is up to 260 now. Damn!
May 2007
I received some sad news. A co-worker’s husband had gastric bypass surgery in December 2006 and got sick. He passed away on May 23, 2007. He had the same surgeon and was in the same hospital that I was in. He was in the hospital for six months. He fell into a coma and then put on life support. He was taken off life support and passed away.
I can’t help but feel so bad and guilty at the same time. I had the same surgery and survived. He had it and died from complications. I don’t know how to feel except bad and guilty.
June 2007
I am still feeling the effects of my friend’s death. I guess that this triggered what was already sitting there in the first place. I have depression and was not willing to accept it all along. My weight is at 258 and has started going down again. It does not help when you eat all the time like you should. I have been having trouble sleeping and forget to eat. I talked to my surgeon and he told me to see my primary care physician about the depression.
During all of this time I did something to help others. My job offered first responder training for those who wanted to volunteer to be medical first responders. I took the challenge since this was a great distraction from what was already going on. It took forty hours of training but I passed and I am now a part of the medical response team at work. It is called the MERT (Medical Emergency Response Team). I and my team of 13 are responsible for responding to medical emergencies at our job site. I am the first gastric bypass team member in the District. This would not have been possible without the surgery and the dedication to stay fit, despite all of the things going on right now. This has given me a boost in self esteem and more confidence. I am down to 258lbs for this month.
July 2007
I am still having problems with the pains, nausea and vomiting on occasion. This is really getting on my last nerve. I am feeling like this is never going to end. The surgeon has planned a series of tests to see what they can find out without going back in using the laparoscopy method. I am a little adamant about that in the first place. I was put on Effexor for my depression. I don’t really know if it is working because I am more irritable, short tempered and down right ticked off a lot. I have not been sleeping very much at all. I keep waking up at all hours of the night and I have not energy in the daytime. I have gone down to 257lbs so far.
August 2007
I don’t feel like I really care about my job due to personnel issues, issues at home and with my health. I don’t think that the medication for depression is helping. I think that it is making things worse. I feel more irritable at times.
August 2007
AUGUST 11, 2007 – 2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY WLS POST OP
It has been two years since I had the gastric bypass surgery and I have thoughts in my mind if I did the right thing or not.
August 10, 2007, I had a pain in my neck on Friday. By Saturday, it got intense but I went with my wife and kids to her company picnic at Marine World. I could not sit down at the picnic I stood up for a while. After they started walking to the rides, I started limping really bad. I made it to a bench to sit down. My wife thought that I did not want to participate in “Family Day”. She thought that it was a muscle spasm and just to work it out. I told her that I am in pain and this is not a spasm. Needless to say I sat on the same bench in Marine World for almost 4 hours. By this time I was in pain and ticked off at the fact that they just left me there while they went on rides.
The pain shot down my leg so bad that I was crying and my head was throbbing. I was so mad that I got up and limped to their medical services in the park. There was a bulge on the back of my neck. They told me that I need to get to a hospital quick because of the severity of the pain.
I became so ticked off that I limped to the front of the park, walked across the street to the Marriott. The lady at the desk called me a cab. I got to the hospital and they showed up about one hour later after I had been admitted into emergency. They said that I had a badly pinched nerve in my spine and that I need to get an x-ray and told me that I need to get to my primary care doctor ASAP.
On Sunday, August 12, I was told not to do any heavy lifting. I had to do the laundry so I did. I got back from the store and went off! “You all abandoned me in the park to fend for myself and get to the hospital on my own.” I went off for about 20 minutes. I was so pissed off that I grabbed the last 10 bags of groceries from the car and went upstairs. I felt a sharp pain shoot down my back into my leg. I took the first step into the house and lost all sensation in my foot. I fell forward and hit the ground knocking myself out for about a minute. When I came to, I could not feel my foot and my back was hurting to the point where I was screaming in pain and crying. She called 911 and I was transported to the hospital in an ambulance. I spent almost the entire day in E.R. while they ran tests. They thought that I had had a stroke at first. They said that I had an inflamed nerve in my spine that needed attention from a neurologist. Mind you I had not eaten anything since 8/6/07 nor gotten a night's sleep in about 2 weeks due to insomnia. My weight has gotten down to 251.6 and anemic.
I saw a therapist on August 13 to discuss my depression. I guess that is a start in the right direction.
September 2007
I am still having the same pains in the area of the pouch and it is getting very annoying. I am on more medications for nausea, vomiting, pain, etc. My weight is going up and down like a yoyo. Slowly but surely my strength is coming back, somewhat.
October 2007
On the 6th, the pain became so intense that I have to be rushed to the emergency room. They took out my gall bladder the next day and I spent 5 days in the hospital. I was released on the 11th of October.
November 2007
I am still at home convalescing from my surgery. I have lost about 6lbs from not eating and all of the medications that I am on.
December 2007
I get to go back to work on 12/10/07 and it feels good. I am still very weak and cannot workout very much at all. I guess that it will take more time to get back into the swing of things.
January 2008
HAPPY NEW YEAR
I am hoping that this year will bring less pain and more results. I can only sit back and wait for things to fall the right way. I have another test scheduled to find out about the pain. The original pain subsided for a while revealing a whole new pain that radiates from my pouch area to my right side. This really sucks!!!
February 2008
I have a meeting with Dr. Hill in Auburn. He wants me to schedule an Endoscopy (again) to see if there is any narrowing of the opening to the pouch. Did I already say that this is getting on my last nerve? I still have the problems with pain, nausea and vomiting. I am now in 10 different medications. I feel like a human pharmacy.
March 2008
I had my endoscopy and it was negative. I was put on ProBiotics to help with the pain. My weight has see sawed for the past few months and now I am starting to get worried.
April 2008
I am getting tired of eating and having pain afterwards. I have gone to soft foods to ease the pain a little.
May 2008
Things are about the same but my weight is now increasing. I have to change my workout routines up.
June 2008
The pain is still a problem. With a new medication added, I feel like a human pharmacy. LOL
July 2008.
Things are getting slightly better but I have to be optimistic.
