celinejen
My story is typical of most obese people. I've struggled with my weight for most of my life, it seemed to hit when I hit puberty I was considered "chunky" when your little you’re told its "cute", I didn't think so. I remember doing the school play "Peter Pan" my mom made me this outfit ( green bathing suit with sewn on shells ) I felt so big even then and that was Jr High, I felt and heard all the laughs directed in my way, again my mother remembers it as being "cute" there was nothing cute about it. My parents really did try to see that I was a happy child, they sent me to theater arts camp, I did come out of my shell there ( I enjoy singing ) and this was a camp that made you feel special no matter what you were talented at. I look at the pictures and all I see is plump unhappy girl, I was targeted a few times by girls who sought out my friendship only to turn around and stab me in the back. Again, my mother looks at these pictures and remarks at "how cute I was." How can a girl who looks like she could be a pumpkin for Halloween and not have to wear a suite be cute? My grandmothers (who I'm sure said things) because they loved me, also played a role in my weight gain. Nana, would tell my mom, "Your not feeding her enough" while my other grandmother would say, "Oh, you don't want that" When you say that to a child more often they want it whether or not they really want it or need it is a whole other issue. As, I got heavier my Nana would say things like "You'd be so beautiful if only" Or "you have such a beautiful face if only" (I don't think these words were out of anything but love) But they still shaped who I became. A lost little girl in a large shell. Sadly, neither got to see the fruits of my labor, but that's ok. I think they would be extreamly proud of my accomplishments.
As, I grew into an adult the weight came piling on, and I tipped the scale at my highest weight 220 pounds now, I'm 5'1 and that just helped to make me look bigger. My final "I've had it" moment came when I was coming down my condo steps and lost my balance tripped and fell flat on my face. That was my "wake-up call" I remember I was over at my parents one night for dinner and my dad was staring at me, I went to work the next day and he said. Do you want our help with your weight?" I said what do you mean?" He said "I've heard good things about the lap-band" "Surgery I said?" "Yep, and you have your mothers and my support" They'd tried everything else to help, I was doing "Nutra-System" before and like every other diet I lost a ton of weight and gained it back and (as usual "Then some”) I went to a seminar and really looked like the answer to my prayers. I set up an appointment with a doctor ( a man at my offices wife used him also ) and Dr Clinch explained both procedures he said based on my weight that the band would be better suited for me ( he really tells you the way things are ) Never sugar-coats anything. So July 12, 2006 I went in and now a little over a year I'm at normal weight. I can't remember the last time I was normal weight. I couldn't not be more pleased with my progress nor can my Dr. I have my ups and downs, no different than anyone else. I live by the motto of, "I used to live to eat, and now I eat to live."
The best advice I can give someone who is (just thinking about doing this) this is a major life change and you have to be completely committed to it for you have any success. I also believe counseling should be part of your journey, if body image was an issue for you before then you need the extra support. That's my issue now believe it or not, I'm having problems with seeing myself look different ( when your used to seeing yourself a certain size ) and all of the sudden you look different, it takes some time to adjust to that. I've never been happier than now, I feel like my life has just started.
