ChaChaCha

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

Well, it's officially 3 days before my birthday and I hit Onederland today (198.2 lbs).  I cried tears of joy when I got on the scale.  I have been looking forward to this day for so long.  It's also a bittersweet moment for me because my boyfriend (whom I recently started dating) has no idea about my obese past.  All he knows is the version of me within the last few weeks.  One of these days I will work up the courage to tell him about it but for right now, I share the great moment with my Mom :)

Everything seems to have a sports analogy, right?  Well, it's official...I hit the halfway mark to my goal weight.  Yeah!  70 lbs. down, 70 to go.  This morning I ran the Cleveland 10K and I was so proud of myself for getting back into running.  I used to run half marathons religiously, and now I'm getting back in the swing of things.  As I like to say, socks first then shoes.  The 10K is what I can handle right now, and next week I start training for the Denver Half Marathon.  I do have a cool ritual for each race I run--During the first few miles I mentally go through each letter of the alphabet and state what I am thankful for or what I appreciate about myself.  It's such great positive self-talk, and it always propels me forward.  

Being half the distance to the goal is a great and fun accomplishment but it seems like a long road to hoe!  I will take it minute by minute and I have no doubt I will reach my goal :)

Yesterday I attended the pre-race expo for the Rite Aid Marathon to pick up my race bib and attend the health fair.  Since Rite Aid is the sponsor, they set up an area where you could have your blood pressure, glucose, and cholesterol levels checked for free.  I decided to have my glucose and cholesterol checked.  Mind you, this wasn't a fasting test so they said the numbers might be elevated.  My glucose came back 81 and my cholesterol was 140.  The nurse said, "Those are very good numbers."  And all I could do was sit there and smile like a Cheshire Cat, thinking back to when my glucose used to be way over 100 and my cholesterol was 225.  VSG, you have helped me realize a healthier version of myself :)

Perhaps one of my biggest regrets of being so overweight was letting myself lose touch with some very good friends from college.  I was simply too embarrassed for them to see me and see how much weight I had gained.  Since I've lost 66 lbs., I'm pretty close to the weight I was in college, give or take 10 lbs.  So, I felt confident enough to get together with a friend I hadn't seen in 13 years.  Can I just tell you THE BEST compliment I've received in a long time came from him?  He said, "You haven't changed a bit!"  I tried so hard to blink back tears because I was so happy to hear those words.  To him, I hadn't changed a bit, but to me, I have changed a lot, having discovered a new and improved version of myself or dare I say, my old self.  Re-connecting with an old friend never felt better.  

Sometimes I have to pinch myself and realize that yes, I have officially put myself on the market and made myself available for dating.  Just a few short months ago I wouldn't dare think of it.  I've had two dates in the last week (trying to pace myself!)  The first guy was a nice guy but we were worlds apart in terms of upbringing and attitudes toward travel and life in general.  Big gaps.  So, move on, right?  Yep, that's why I love dating.  It's like a fat-free sugar free chocolate muffin--all the fun without the guilt.  Last night I went to a Cavs game and had a fantastic time with my date.  We are much more compatible than the other guy.  Very similar backgrounds and he's a blast.  One small gaffe in the evening--another guy walked right up to me and asked me for my phone number if front of my date.  Not sure what he thought about that but I thought that was ballsy on his part!  Right now I'm just proud of myself for putting myself out there and not being afraid to unleash my real personality and have a great time :)

I ran my first 5K in over 2 years today.  It was SO GREAT to be back in action.  I kinda laughed when I was stretching before the race---I stood up to pick up my leg to bend it backwards to stretch my quads and it was SO much lighter.  Just a few months ago I could barely lift my leg up let alone hold it for a 25 second stretch.  My, what a difference losing 60 lbs. makes!

I signed up to run the Denver Half Marathon in October.  Keep in mind I used to be a half marathon runner years ago, so this is my victory lap--i.e. getting back into it.  It feels so incredibly good.  This morning I started off the race just like I do with every other race...go through each letter of the alphabet and state what I am grateful for.  Of course when I came to the letter O I said, "Obesity Help!"  I am so thankul and grateful for each one of you who has inspired me and encouraged me along the way.  I hope I inspire you and encourage you, too.  :)

My poor Mom is all I have to say!  I was only 4 weeks out from surgery and I decided that going to Panera and getting broccoli cheddar soup would be a "safe" choice.  Well, it wasn't.  After I ate about 6 bites, everything felt stuck.  I must have gotten a weird look on my face because my Mom said, "Jen, what's wrong?"  Now, here's the good news and the bad news:  The good news is we were sitting RIGHT next to the bathroom.  The bad news is it was a one-staller and it was occupied.  Murphy's Law...I stand up from the table and walk torward the bathroom door, knocking incessantly only to hear a girl say, "I'm in here."   I said, "I know, but this is an emergency."  By now my mouth is watering.  My Mom charges toward me with her empty soup bowl in case I need to vomit into it.  Now, this is a Panera inside a mall (i.e. surrounded by glass windows) so I am trying my damnest to keep my back to the windows...I'm kinda laughing because this is my biggest nightmare come true.  Anyway, the girl in the bathroom opens the door and I fly in there.  Only a little bit came up but my Mom and I laughed about it later.  The sight of her holding that empty bowl under my mouth just makes me laugh.  I felt like I was 6 years old again!

Because my liver enzymes were so elevated before surgery and because an ultrasound yielded a fatty liver disease, my PCP and I decided to have Dr. Cirangle do a liver biospy during my VSG to see if we can learn more about my liver.  Well, I got the pathology results the other day and I have liver fibrosis.  From everything I've read, fibrosis is one step before cirrhosis and is irreversible.  I thought losing weight would "cure it" (after all, losing weight seems to be the panacea for improving everything, right?)  Well, not for the liver.  I'm stuck with a scarred liver.  As Dr. Cirangle said to me, "Jen, you are what you are eat, and unfortunately you've done some pretty good damage to your liver with starches, carbs, and alcohol."  Very, very easy for me to believe.  I've eaten like shit and abused my body for years.  On top of that, I've worked in the alcoholic beverage industry for 8 years (wine and spirits) so I've tossed back my fair share of drinks.  I'm still processing it and wondering if I'll ever pick up a drink again.  So far I haven't had a drink since Thanksgiving and it hasn't bothered me once.  I'm thankful for all the pre-op testing I had before my VSG because it yielded some pretty serious health conditions that I am either now treating or mindful of.

Aw, come on, did you really think I meant THAT F word?  Gotcha.  The F word I am referring to is Fudgesicle.  And thank God for these 40 calorie, no sugar added, 2 carb, chocolate sticks of lusciousness.  They are the most solid thing I can "enjoy" (notice I didn't say eat) at this point.  The surgeon's office says it counts toward my liquid requirement, and I figured out each fudgesicle counts as 2oz. of liquid.  How about them apples?   I don't think I've ever gotten so excited about a frozen confection!  ha ha

Sigh--for some reason my body wasn't doing well with cottage cheese or eggs as part of my transition to soft foods.  I tried some pureed soups and my tummy wasn't having that either.  So, back to liquids I went for a few days with the addition of Lorazapem and Reglan to smoothe out my awful reflux and to hopefully help my esophagus and stomach process the soft foods.  Well, today I feel much better.  I kept down 1/4c. cottage cheese and 1/4c. greek yogurt (insert happy dance here).  I am really ready to get off the liquid merry-go-round.  I want a bite of something crunchy SO BAD I've even debated putting one cracker in my mouth, chewing it, and spitting it out so I can get the crunch sensation.  Yeah, it's that bad.  I hope today's tolerance is the sign that my tummy swelling is going down and that it's getting ready to accept some new soft foods!