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I think I've successfully gotten my hands around every single book on compulsive overeating.  I actually found a great workbook and a complementary book that looks to be a great tool for unearthing the emotions behind one's desire to eat.  This is going to be a tough road for me.  I think about food all the time.  I really want to develop a healthier relationship with food.  It's true--I'm powerless against food.  Right now.  I intend to seek out cognitive behavioral therapy and counseling to go alongside my surgery.  

I'm still researching lap band vs. RNY.  This week I'm leaning toward RNY.  I think the band adjustments worry me, and it seems like it's too easy to *cheat* the band.  I need stronger guardrails.  My Mom and I are divided on this.  She looks at the band as being a more conservative approach, and if the difference is only 20% of your excess weight, why wouldn't you take the safer approach?  I hear her on that.  BUT, I am self-paying for this surgery, and I'd rather, "go for the gusto" so to speak and have RNY.   

We're headed to the seminar at the Cleveland Clinic this Tuesday, Jan 19th.  I'm excited because Dr. Schauer is hosting the seminar, and he is my # 1 pick if I choose to move forward with surgery.  I'm purely in exploratory mode right now.  I don't have health insurance right now, so it would be self-pay.  Yowch.  I keep thinking to myself that if I could just go to Weight Watchers, I would save myself $30k.  But we all know it's not that easy, right?  Been there, done that.  

My biggest fear is...does the nonstop food addiction go away once you have WLS?  I might look into individual counseling on top of group counseling because I envision that will be a big hurdle for me. 

It's great to be on this web site and see so many people who are in the same position or who were in my position.  All of my friends are thin and don't have a weight problem, so hopefully the people I meet on this site can be a source of support and inspiration for me. 

I told my Mom last night about my intention to undergo bariatric surgery.  She is 100% supportive.  She even said she wants to go with me for all orientation meetings and evaluations with the surgeon.  She's my angel.  I'm currently trying to decide between the Cleveland Clinic and Western Pennsylvania Hospital.  The Cleveland Clinic doesn't have a HealthGrade rating (they don't provide them for Ohio hospitals) so I cannot get an apples-to-apples comparison.  Regardless, I'm researching both rigorously and reading all the patient testimonials from the healthgrades.com web site.