Rebecca M.

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I gave up coffee (and caffiene of any kind) on Friday.  I knew it would be bad because I am a die hard coffee drinker and I get those awful headaches when I go without.  It has been hard, but so far so good... at least in the sense that I haven't cheated.  I do feel crappy though.  The back of my neck hurts and I have these headaches that come and go (in direct response to the advil no doubt).

I have been busy preparing myself for this big transition.  We went to the grocery store this weekend (like we do every weekend), but this time I spent a lot of time reading everything we purchased for fat content, carbs, and protein.  It was really interesting!  We made some simple changes that everyone could be happy with and although I'll be on a liquid/special diet soon that nobody in the house needs to accomodate, I think these simple changes only help everyone in the house.  

We also got good bathroom/kitchen scales and a magic bullet.  We had a small ceremony for the beloved coffee maker as we stored it away and gave the magic bullet the coffee maker's place of honor on the kitchen counter.  So we're preparing...

I have preadmission testing all day tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it.  It is one of those things you can cross off your list as you move closer to the big event.  

I am also feeling less stressed and confident.  I know things are going to be okay and I am feeling blessed.  I am blessed that I can have this surgery when it is such an unbelievable struggle for so many that need it.  I am blessed that I have family that love me and support me despite their own fears.  I am blessed to have friends that want to see me do well.  I am blessed to have a job, co-workers, and management that cares about me and can assist me through this process.

So yea... I'm feeling positive and looking forward.  Bring on the preadmission testing :D

I am 13 days away from surgery.  Last night was pretty bad.  I was feeling so incredibly anxious and scared.  My father died from a WLS complication 3 years ago in February.  I'm on edge.  I want to be confident because I know my family is really concerned too.   My 18 year old is pretty scared.  He sounded so upset when I spoke to him with the date yesterday.  I told him that everything would be fine and that if he's worried at all, he should just come home for the surgery.  He is an hour and half away at college right now.  My 20 year old daughter was very supportive and didn't seem anxious at all.  My mom was a bit odd on the phone, but she said she was fine and not upset.  I think she's being cool to help me while I'm being cool to help her lol.  My husband was terrific.  I was able to just tell him how freaked out I was and he didn't say okay thats it don't do it.  He just held me and listened and said everything is going to be okay.  I took a hot shower and I felt better after that.  I slept well and I feel lots calmer today.

I have 2 younger children too (8 and 10).  I have been thinking about what I am going to say to them and when.  Last night at dinner, I told them that I was going to go on a big diet in 2 weeks.  I said I'll be eating really small meals and only drinking liquids for a long time.  I told them that I wanted to do this so that I would be healthier for them and have more energy.  They were *really* receptive and encouraging.  My 10 year old daughter did say mom won't you be really hungry all the time only drinking?  I said maybe, but that my body would be changing and I'd be okay.  

Next week I intend to sit them down and tell them that as a part of my big diet I am going to have an operation.  I'll tell them that everything is going to fine and that Grandma will be with them before and after school.  I won't be more graphic then that, but I will answer any question they ask.  Hopefully they won't ask if I'm going to die, but if they do, I'm prepared to say it is very unlikely that I will die.  Everyone eventually dies.  It is a part of living.  It isn't something that is likely to happen to any of us for a very long time.

I also contacted the HR office yesterday to begin the LOA forms so that I can still get paid while I'm off recoverying.

I go for pre-admission testing on 11/7 and meet with my surgeon for the last time on 11/9.  My husband is going to come with me to both of those appointments I'm happy to say... he hasn't been to one yet :S.