*&%$-ing Pre-op Diet

Mar 23, 2011

Day 3 of my pre-op diet and I am really struggling. I did well on Day 1, but by the end of Day 2, I was sitting in the corner, laughing maniacally and tearing off my skin (well, when I managed to get my arms out of the straightjacket).  So I screwed up last night. I didn't go hog wild, or anything, but I did eat normal food.

I think it has a lot to do with me having quit smoking last month. Ever since then, I haven't been able to do the things used to. I am a lifelong reader, and I've also journaled every day for over 20 years. Since I quit smoking, I haven't been able to focus enough to read OR write. And I feel like I should be really psyched for the surgery (only 12 days away!) but I don't feel a thing. Except dread. As a matter of fact, I'm unable to FEEL anything good.

Definitely sounds like my brain chemistry could use a tune-up.  I hope this eventually resolves itself, because I REALLY don't want to go back to smoking (and wouldn't, anyway), but life hasbecome colorless and bland.

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