chelle429

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It's official, I took my test last Wednesday and I found out today that I passed!  I was very worried that I didn't pass.  I am so happy and excited, can't wait to start working as a nurse.  It's been a long road and it feels so good to be at my first major career goal.  Yay!!!!!

Today I stepped on the scale and saw 253.8!!!!  100lbs down!!!!!!  I'm 6 months out and am so happy and proud of myself.  It's only gonna get better from here!  YAY!!!!!!

School is finally done and I passed my clinical competency exams!!!  I'm so excited!  It has been a long hard road and to see the light at the end of the tunnel feels amazing.  I'm waiting to sit for my state board examination and then it will be official.  Can't wait to have that RN after my name!!!

I haven't been around OH much lately.  School has been keeping me very busy and have had a bit of drama in my life.  After 5 years together, my husband and I are getting a divorce.  It's the best thing for both of us at this point and I'm saddened at losing a part of me, but I know something good will come out of all of this.  It didn't have anything to do with the surgery.  The issues were there long before that ever happened.  I am looking forward to the new and exciting things that are going to be happening...new body, new career, newly single.  Future is looking bright :oD

So my scale has been totally off from what the dr's more accurate scale says.  I haven't lost as much as I thought.  I've also been in another almost 3 week stall!  YUCK!!!!  I'm trying really hard not to let it get to me.  I've been going to the Y, I'm starting out slow cuz it's been awhile since I've worked out.  Right now I'm at 15 mins on the treadmill and 15 mins on the elliptical.  So far so good.  I've also added a couple of planned high protein, good for me snacks to increase my calories so hopefully my body won't think it's starving anymore.  We went to Bed Bath and Beyond and bought a new scale that is hopefully going to be more accurate.  Now to bust through this plateau!!

Pureed foods were going down so well I decided to advance myself to a regular diet last night.  I had some chicken, pepper jack cheese, and a bit of rice pilaf.  No problems whatsoever!!!  It's still so weird because my portions feel huge!  I'm measuring out 1/4c. protein and 1/4c. of starch or veggies/fruits but it still seems like a feast.  I guess it seems like so much in comparison to the tbsp portions of the pureed phase.  I still have no hunger so eating is more of a scheduled "because I should" thing.  I also don't feel full sensations every time I eat so I just make sure to eat slowly, over 45 mins as recommended in the nutrition book and only eat the recommended portion sizes.  Since I have no hunger, this isn't a problem for me at all.  Every now and then, not very often though,  I get the head hunger, when I just want to taste something so I usually have a cheese stick and boy oh boy does that feel like a treat.  I'm finding that I respond to food much differently now.  My thinking has changed completely, I could take it or leave it.  Before I ate big portions not because I was necessarily hungry but because it tasted so good.  Now I don't get the same enjoyment out of eating, it truly has become food for fuel.  I don't miss or mourn food because I know that I'll be able to eat most anything I want eventually with a few exceptions.  I know that I will need to make wise choices and listen to my body.  Plus, there are so many healthy alternatives out there that taste wonderful, there is no need for me to feel deprived.  I don't know if I'll stay like this, I think it's a response to my lack of hunger.  Maybe I'll change again once my hunger returns.  Who knows?  I just know that I'm going to utilize my tool to it's fullest potential and keep doing what I'm supposed to be doing.  Don't know if this makes sense to anybody, the change in response to food I've had is kind of hard to explain. 

David and I signed up for the YMCA on Monday.  I'm so excited to get back to exercising.  The best part is personal training services are included in the membership!  WOOHOO!!  I was worried that we were going to have to pay extra.  I'm also taking a PE class to fulfill a nursing school graduation requirement, it's a lab and I have to go on my own and get in a minimum of 36 40min sessions.  So between the Y and this class I'll be a workout fiend!!!

Yep, it was a stricture.  The gastroenterologist was able to dilate it and full liquids are going down just fine.  In 3-5 days I can try pureed/mashed again and if all goes well with that then in another 3-5 days I can advance to regular diet.  Only 3 days in the hospital and very minimal pain, I had morphine prescribed and only had to ask for it twice.  I'm glad it got all fixed up!  Hopefully it won't happen again.

I haven't been able to tolerate food since I started the pureed/mashed diet 2 1/2 weeks ago.  I called Dr. Martin's office and they rushed an auth to get me into see the gastroenterologist.  I saw him on Tuesday and they didn't have an opening for an endoscopy until 8/31.  So I went about my days not eating, only getting in my water, juice, and protein shakes.  Last night at about 6pm I couldn't even tolerate tiny sips of water.  Hubby called Dr. Martin and he said to come immediately to the hospital.  He got me directly admitted, started IV fluids because I was dehydrated and they are going to do the endoscopy today.  I'm so blessed to have him as my surgeon!  He is really on top of every little thing.  I'm thankful that I can get this done and taken care of.  I know I'll be back to feeling good really soon. 

Today is one month out.  I'm a little bummed because I've been in a stall for about a week and a half.  The scale has not moved at all, in fact this morning it was up 1lb.  I'm doing everything that I'm supposed to.  I know from reading posts that this is common and it happens to a lot of people, but it's really getting me down.  Also, I'm just not noticing much in the way of change to my body.  My clothes are only the slightest bit looser and I don't even feel as if I've lost 30lbs.  I haven't been exercising because it's been to painful (back, knees, ankle) but today DH and I decided to go walking to kick of the exercising.  I did a mile and a half and just had to stop.  I guess I should be happy that I got that far, but it seems like the pessimist in me can only focus on the fact that it still hurts to exercise.   I know I just need to be patient, which is extremely hard for me to do.  I'm just feeling down today and bad thoughts keep entering my head like "what if I did this and this is all the weight I lose"?  Maybe I'm expecting too much too soon.  Any encouraging words would be greatly appreciated.