EEEH my first blog...

Jun 13, 2010

Hello My Name is Christina i am about 3 months prepairing myself for getting the VSG surgery. currently im in the middle of seeing my doctor in a 6 month time period for my insurance. Also when i went to banner good sameritan for more info i had to see a psych. She recomended that i continue seeing someone to deal with a death of a loved one and stress mamgement.So i am doing that now too. As of this date i am 5 foot i weigh from 205 to 210 it goes up and down but it seems no matter what i do what diet i change or exercise i do it always just is stuck in those number.one thing i know is i am a emotional eater,i do have a food addiction and the past 5 years have been a emotional roller coaster for me.now that i am feeling stronger emotional wise i feel i am ready to bring the woman whom i feel on the inside out.Im tired of hiding behind this weight and using it as a excuse to punish myelf for many reasons. I feel like it is time to stop doing for everyone else and do somthing for me i have a family history of diabetes,heart disease, and diffrent types of additions.im want to deal with the deamons in my heart and mind and not use food as a way to cope. i know this is not a quick fix nor is it gonna make things all better.. i feel if i dont do this i will always have a excuse to put weight loss,and other parts of my life on the back burner to cater to those whom i know can do for themselves.this way i will have no choice but to take of me. i have but one support in my life and that is my husband i dont have many folks to talk to whom truly understand what im going through being my husband is very very fit with almost no body fat.just moved to az lil over 2 yrs ago and havent much friends my mother has been passed for 5 years n ow and so i find myself here looking for a new life a new me. im tired of all my excuses, im tired of being scared to go out into public,or visit family or even taking pictures i want to be the confident person that hides in my heart waiting to be that sporty tom boy again without the fear of people seeing me as the weak link because of my weight or being lazy because of my weight. i have 4 kids at home 5 total 2 teens and 2 toddlers i work double weekends and a do mothers duty during the week so if anyone knows mother duty then you know i am not a lazy woman.anyways this is my first blog and im so nervouse i dont know what to say a newbie awe how cute... so please get at me ok..smootchez...

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