Cheryl M.
Well, I finally have gotten all my little ducks in a row. I found a surgeon who is actually on my insurance, requested copies of records from various places, and I went for a general check-up yesterday with my PCP and she is all for the surgery. She is writing me a surgery letter. As soon as I have all these things, I can actually get an appointment for a consultation with the surgeon. Yeah!!!!!!!
Hoping to have surgery. In the process of researching and trying to find a doctor that will accept my insurance. I think this is going to be a LONG drawn out affair.
3/14/03 Well, I finally found a surgeon with terrific credentials -- Dr. Adam Naaman. He's actually on my insurance program. I'm thrilled! My insurance company, believe it or not, has been semi-helpful. What is that about? LOL Anyway, I'm pretty much preoccupied by this surgery and what it will mean after I have it done. Yes, I'm nervous about the pain that will be there, but I'm so much more excited about seeing the changes in my body over the next couple of years, that it diminishes the scary pain thoughts. :) I have my initial consultation with Dr. Naaman on 3/18/03. Really looking forward to it and I have a million questions ready for him. Hope he's ready for me! LOL I'll let ya know what I think about him after Tuesday! Wish me luck!
3/19/03 -- okay, well, I met Dr. Naaman yesterday. He is just SO quiet! Not much of a talker, but that's okay with me. He answered all of my questions and didn't make me feel like an idiot. His staff is just fantastic! His nurse cracks me up. I asked her about hair loss and she said that while I may lose some hair, she's been his nurse for about 20 years and she hasn't seen a skinny bald patient yet! LOL! That cracked me up and put those fears to bed. Anyway, I'm scheduled for a little blood test, they are sending off the first letter to the insurance company and I'm to check back with them in about a week. The doctor did tell me to start taking Flintstone's vitamins immediately (which I already did this morning - YUCK) and to start walking 30 minutes a day and work up to 30 minutes twice a day, so that I'll be better prepared for after surgery. Okay! (Putting on my walking shoes now.... lol) So that's about it for now. I'll keep this up to date and will post soon!
4/06/03 -- I GOT APPROVED AFTER THE FIRST LETTER!!!!!!! And within 1 weeks' time too! I can't believe it, really. Now, just waiting for the surgeon to get the approval letter so that I can start looking into dates for the surgery! YIPPEE!!!!!
Cruise 2004, 16 months post op
04/09/03 -- Okay -- got a surgery date, June 2, 2003 -- and NOW I'm nervous. LMAO!!!!! The girl from the surgeon's office called with the date and I was like "D'oh! ALREADY?" What did I think was going to happen? Good Grief! Anyway, I'm really nervous, but REALLY REALLY excited, too. I told my boss and he was super nice about it and very supportive. Even managed to get a raise after I told him. LOL That's a good thing, I guess! Anyway, I can't believe that after all the research and talking to people, it's only 6 weeks away. GOOD LORD! Yep -- everytime I think about it, I get sick to my stomach. And then when I think about what I'm going to look like in 6 months, those butterflies just go flying away -- there's no room in my skinny body for butterflies!!!!! LOL! Okay, enough for today. I really need to get something done around the job today. :)
June 1st, 2003 -- Okay well. Here it is. ONE day before the BIG DAY. I've cleaned my house, washed the clothes, blah blah blah. LOL And NOW I'm getting more nervous than I thought possible. I need something to preoccupy me. My folks are coming in this afternoon. They make me more nervous because I know now that the time has arrived. I keep telling myself that if I wasn't supposed to do this, then I would have run into obstacles. And there have been NO obstacles in me getting this surgery. None. I got an angel. :) Her name is Dorianne. I think it's sweet that she volunteered to be my angel when she doesn't even know me. The volunteers on this website are absolutely amazing folks.
Well, I did write a letter to my family telling them my wishes and where certain financial information is to be found. I certainly hope that they don't have to read that letter anytime soon. But it made me feel better knowing that I had taken care of it as much as possible. I'm mostly worried about what will happen to my wonderful little babies - my cats! I have three crazy cats and I just know that no one could ever love them as much as I do. I've cried more thinking about leaving them than anything else.
Anywaaaay! I'm not going to think about that anymore. I went for my pre-op appointments last Wednesday. They weighed me and OMG -- I LOST 5 POUNDS. I was like, How the heck did THAT happen???? LMAO!!!! Who knows. Every piece of chocolate that gets in my way for the last 6 weeks goes into my mouth, so I don't know how it happened. Must be all that walking I've been doing.
Okay, well, I'm going to end this now. I will update after I'm on the losing side. :)
Cruise, 2004 - 16 months Post op
June 4th, 2003 -- I'm officially on the losing side. Hurray!!!!!! Doing very well. Not a tremendous amount of pain. Definitely tolerable. Haven't had a pain pill or shot for 2 days now. Will write more later!
June 11th, 2003 -- This is the 2nd time I've tried to post this. Let's see if AOL will let me. LOL Darn AOL. Anyway! I went to the surgeon on the 9th for my first postie visit and I have lost (drum roll please!!!!!!!!!) 16 pounds. :) YIPPEE!!!!!! Now weighing on my scale, it's showing that I've dropped another 7 since Monday, but I'm not so sure about that. LOL My surgeon wants his people on all liquids for 6 weeks. ACK!!!! The first week was just nasty -- nothing but broth, water, and gatorade. Ohhhhh, I didn't think I was going to make it. But I did, and it was worth it when I got on the scales. So now I've moved on to creamed soups, smoothies, and creamed cereals like cream of wheat, malt-o-meal, and grits. Hmmmm, atleast the soups have some flavor besides broth. I still haven't cheated. :) I'm walking everyday. Also, the fitness center at work is auctioning off their old treadmills next week. I am SO gonna have to win one of those. It's just TOOOOOO hot in Texas to be walkin' outside! Anyway, I have had a blessed recovery. I have had very little pain, other than a weird pain in my left side that is apparently pretty normal for some lap patients. The drain was disgusting and I was SO happy to get that out. I feel like a whole new woman. I can drive again so I have my freedom. :) Feeling better and better all the time! I will post more later! ;)
Cave Tubing in Belize - 16 months post op
7/20/03 -- I have been sorely remiss in posting to this profile. Just a quick update. I will be 7 weeks out of surgery tomorrow and as of this morning have lost 57 pounds. I'm feeling GREAT. YIPPPPPEEEEEE!!!!!! :) Promise to post more later! :)
7/29/03 -- Okay, I said I would post more often, and here I am. Only 9 days later. LOL Good news is that I got a great new job; I start on 8/11. I can NOT wait. Bad news is that I am on a massive plateau. Very irritated about the whole situation. It just ticks me off to know that I eat barely anything and my body is freaking out on me and refuses to work with me! ACK!
Anyway, I have met some really great people on the Texas Messageboard and chat room. I've always known that Texans have big hearts, but this is amazing. ALMOST everyone on there is positive and upbeat and gives great support. Now, speaking of ALMOST everyone, I have to say that an issue has arisen on the boards -- surgeon bashing. I have already stated my opinion on that subject on the boards, however, in the event that SOMEONE is reading this, I just want to say that I think you are an incredibly rude person with no sense of what it is to just LET GO. Good grief! GET OVER IT! It amazes me that someone will have ONE bad experience with a surgeon, and all of a sudden make it their life's mission to let everyone know that they think that the surgeon is the worst in the world. Perhaps, if you hadn't been rude and confrontational, you wouldn't be going through this now. Enough said.
Moving on..... (LOL) another topic came up today on the boards. It was regarding the lack of support and downright rudeness of people who don't support WLS. I was stunned and angered by the e-mail that one of our Texas friends received from a "loved one" who said, in a nutshell, that insurance companies should NOT have to pay for WLS -- that it's OUR fault for not pushing away from the table (OMG) and that we should just diet and exercise. They also said something to the effect that insurance should be reserved for "real" diseases...... HOLY COW!!!!!! Let me just say I think that this is absolutely the MOST assinine thing that I have ever heard in my life. We PAY the insurance premiums for years and years without EVER using the insurance for anything more than the cold or flu and regular check ups. Where do people get the right to condemn the way we are living when they have clearly never been there?????? If we had cancer, heart disease, or something else life threatening, you can bet your britches that the LOVED ONE would be beating down doors to get the insurance company to pay for it. And excuse me -- but Morbid Obesity IS A DISEASE THAT IS LIFE THREATENING. We are predisposed to those really "serious" diseases: cancer, heart disease, and diabetes. You know what they say.... Walk a mile in my shoes before you judge me... If that person were morbidly obese, perhaps they would have a different opinion. Aaaaaaah, ignorance is bliss.
And moving on once again..... so like I said -- at a major plateau. But I have to say that after losing almost 60 pounds, my clothes are certainly baggy. My favorite pair of blue jean shorts -- forget about it. They fell off, literally, the other day. A pair of black work pants -- uh uh -- no more. Yesterday was the last time I will wear those bad boys. LOL I was continually holding them up all day in fear that I would lose my britches while walking at work. And speaking of losing things -- SHOES!!!!! MY SHOES KEEP FLYING OFF MY FEET!!!!! Who knew that my feet would be the skinniest thing on my body??? LOL
Enough of all this griping and moaning and being on my soap box. I will write more later. HUUUUUUGS to my Texas friends! Love y'all! God bless us all.
9/20/03 Ooookay, so it's been forever since I updated. It's official -- I have lost (drum roll please) 87 pounds in 15 weeks. Holy Cow!!!!!!!! Yesterday, I got into a size 20 jeans. I haven't been in a size 20 in over 15 years. This is absolutely the most amazing thing ever - this surgery, I mean. Yes, it's a hard road. But you know what? It's totally worth it.
Next Saturday is the OH Texas support group meeting in San Antonio. I can NOT wait to finally meet all of my online friends. It's just going to be fantastic. Thanks to Maria Shepherd for all of her hard work on the get together.
Will post more later -- I have to go shopping now! LOL
Best to all wherever you are in your journey.
9/30/03 I just posted this to the Texas message board. After the weekend in San Antonio, I realized just how much my life has changed and that there is so much more I could be doing to help people that are struggling with their decision about whether WLS is the right route for them. I rarely share such personal information, but I think that this is the right place to share it.
I have been overweight for what seems like an eternity. After I accomplished a lot of goals that I set for myself, I finally realized that I needed to do the ONE THING that scared me the most -- lose the weight and LIVE LIFE. I had knee surgery about 3 years ago and the pain has never gone away; I would be breathless after walking a short distance; I had chronic acute back pain and would be down in my back for months at a time. I finally realized that at 33 years old, I was destined to either have a heart attack, get diabetes, or wind up in a wheelchair by the time I was 50 and probably die well before my time -- all because of morbid obesity. I also realized that I wasn't being successful in many areas of my life because of the fat. Work, social, etc. I distanced myself from people with sarcasm and anger.
A coworker of mine had the surgery 3 years ago and all I could think was Oh my God, how can she do that to herself. Then I had the realization as stated above and I started doing research. Tammy, I researched this surgery for a year before I made my decision. It was, hands down, the scariest thing I've ever done. But for me, I had come to the realization that I was going to live a miserable existence for the next 20 years and die way too young. I would rather live the next 20 years a healthy, vital woman than die because of my weight.
I had tried a lot of diets, but never had the will power to stick to it. I would lose a few pounds and then gain them plus an extra 20. It was just terrible.
Do I worry about the long term effects of WLS? Yes, sometimes. But I take my vitamins religiously, I eat like I'm supposed to, and am living an over all healthier lifestyle. My life has change dramatically in the past 4 months. I'm closer to my family and friends. I'm not afraid to be close to people because of the way I look and the way I feel about myself.
That's my story. One more thing..... in two days, I will be 4 months post op. I have lost 90 pounds. I love this new life! :)
Here's Sneaky Pete!
10/16/03 I am just SO bad about updating my profile. Good grief. Well, here it is -- I'm a little over 4 months out and I have lost (drum roll please).......... 100 pounds! YIPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This has been an amazing experience for me so far.
I have had no complications. My hair did start falling out at 3 months, which I totally expected, and it hasn't stopped yet. I hope it stops soon. I didn't have thick hair anyway and if it doesn't stop soon, I'm going ot have to get my hair cut REALLY short.
I have had a really good experience with my surgeon. I am having a great time with the good people on the Texas Messageboard, we're starting a support group this week, and I've lost 100 pounds in 4 months. I'm also no longer morbidly obese. I wouldn't qualify for the surgery anymore! Holy Moly! My weight loss has definitely slowed down, but to lose 10 pounds in about 2.5 weeks isn't too shabby! Life is good!
11/5/03... Hi everyone! It's been a while since I updated my profile. First things first, thank you to Vickie - a volunteer with OH. She "Cuted Up" my profile and I just love it!
Now..... for a cool update: I am 5 months out (on 11/2/03) and I have lost 110 pounds! YIPPEEEE!!!!
For those who are pre-ops, new post-ops, or wherever you are on your journey, I went back on the Texas Messageboard a couple of weeks and copied this section because I think that it deserves to be kept:
Someone who hasn't gone through this surgery or lost a large amount of weight can't possibly relate to the psychological aspect of losing an extreme amount of weight in a short period of time. Not only do you experience physical changes, but you also have extreme emotional changes. The hormones are raging; your comfort of food is gone; and life is good but so different from what you're used to that it's all hard to adjust to. Not to mention that when you lose your hair and your clothes look like crap all the time, it's just a strange thing and hard to cope with.
In the last 4.5 months, I have lost a small person and you know what? That small person was part of me. And sometimes, I miss her. I don't miss the way she looks, but I do miss the comfort that she gave me. She was a safe zone. The more I lose the scarier it gets sometimes in some ways.
Am I lucky that I have lost this much weight? No. Luck has nothing to do with it. I have worked hard for this weight loss and until you have the surgery, you'll never understand. This is not the easy way out - you don't have to have as much will power as before, but as all post ops can attest, the "surprises" that come along with this surgery are tough. It's a bumpy road.
I'm am writing this to try to get across a lot of points, I guess. But mainly it's that this is a SUPPORT community - not a bashing point because someone else is miserable and needs to take their problems out on us. I love the Texas message board and I love each of you - everyone of you - and I don't want us to start bickering and fussing like what happens on the main messageboard. We have all become a little family and while families often have disputes - and that's okay - in the long run, family is there for you and at the end of the day that's who's left and all you've got.
I am so blessed to be surrounded by people on our Texas board who love me and who support me. I am also completely blessed because you all allow me to give you support. You help me to help others who are obese and sad and miserable - and you help me to be able to learn more about myself through you and your experiences. ~end of that post~
So back to today...... life is so good after surgery. I can't really begin to express just how good it is. I'm more friendly now and I love life! My work life is difficult at best, and I don't have much "me" time anymore. But I guess that after being so consumed with guilts of letting my physical body get so out of shape, I have realized that other things in life make it worth living. Losing the weight and changing your life so that your body can live like you want to - that's a good thing.
I have decided that God led me to this surgery and this website so that I can try to help others with their journeys through obesity. I feel compelled to help others that are obese and others that are struggling with all of the issues that come with the obese lifestyle. The hatred, the discrimination, the mean jokes and the ugly looks - all because we're larger than most. I just don't understand it, and it's not likely that I ever will really. I do know that I want to help as many people as I possibly can. With support and with humor and most importantly: with love and understanding. I want to help obese people understand their rights and that they don't have to put up with the ugliness and hatred that comes from others who don't understand about obesity. Now I just have to figure out the best way to do that. It's going to require more thought. :)
Anyway, that's about it for now. I hope that my profile helps someone out there and gives them the courage to change their lives and really, and truly LIVE LIFE. God bless us all wherever we are on our journeys. Until the next update.... love to all. :)
12/28/03. Merry Christmas, a little late. Happy New Year, a little early. Seems like I got a belated Christmas present just now. I just figured out my BMI. I am NO LONGER MORBIDLY OR SEVERLY OBESE. I AM JUST OBESE!!!!!!! WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! This morning I tried on a size XL t-shirt and it fit. I walked almost 2 miles this morning and felt GREAT. I never even really broke a sweat. Of course, it was cool out, so that helped. But I wasn't even breathing heavy after the first mile. This life is just great and it keeps getting better! YAAAAHOOOOO!!!!!! I'll update more later!
3/1/04. It's one day before my 9 month anniversary. Life is GREAT!!!! I HIT 198 THIS MORNING. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! That's a total of 144 pounds lost!!!!!!!! YIPPPEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is my sweet cat, Callie.
4/6/04. Here I am - a few days after my 10 month anniversary. I'm a little late in updating my profile. I've had a really rough week. Seems I have an ulcer and it has reared its ugly head. I was in terrible pain all weekend - running a fever - cramping - you name it, I've been afflicted with it. Finally got some Nexxium from Dr. Naaman's office and the pain almost immediately went away. I'm probably a little dehydrated so I'm working on getting in lots and lots of fluids today. On Friday morning (today is Tuesday), I weighed 196. This morning, I weighed 189. FLOP! LOL I was a little stunned. It's nice to see the 180s, but a little scary to have lost that much weight this far out from surgery. It's probably because of the total lack of food and fluids. I will probably gain a couple of pounds after drinking all I plan on drinking today to rehydrate. But that's okay. As of this morning, I calculated my BMI and.... drum roll please!!!!!!! It's 28.7........ I'm OVERWEIGHT!!!!!!!! I'm pretty darn happy about that, I have to tell ya! :-D I think the last time I wasn't obese was when I was around 14 years old. Amazing. This is the first time in 20 years - TWENTY YEARS, folks - that I haven't been obese or morbidly obese. Holy Guacamole!!! Life is GRAND! Wherever you are on your journey, God Bless.
5/23/04 Good Sunday Morning. I haven't updated in a little bit. Good news, the ulcer has calmed down some, but I ended up dehydrated and in the hospital for the day while they crammed me full of fluids. Being dehydrated just stinks! Don't do it!
Last weekend was the First National Obesity Help Event in Arlington, Texas. There were about 300 people in attendance. It was so wonderful to meet people from all around the nation, but especially the folks from the Texas Board. My sweet Pea, Traci P., was there and helped me immensely in getting the convention together. Maria was there - and oh my gosh - the girl is beautiful! I can not get over how different and wonderful she looks from when I met her in San Antonio last September. (I'm going to visit her in San Antonio this coming weekend and we're going to Fiesta Texas - I can't WAIT!!!!!!!!!!) The event was a success and it was just so good to meet everyone.
On the weight loss front, my weight loss is slowing down significantly. Of course, I'm almost a year out from surgery now. I'm wearing almost exclusively size 12s now. Absolutely amazing! I still don't "see" it when I look at myself. Occasionally, I'll see myself in a reflection at the mall or at work and think, "I can't believe that's me." It is, but my brain hasn't registered it yet. This morning I weighed in at 183. That's a loss of almost exactly 160 pounds. Is that right? My gosh, I've lost a grown man in weight! Amazing. I have about 25 more pounds and then I'm done, but if this is it for me, that's okay too.
So that's all of the update for now. I'll update more on my 1 year anniversary. I'm getting my thoughts in line for a "reflective" post about this year's events and life changes. It ought to be quite a book. LOL
Wherever you are on your journey, keep the faith and God Bless. Cheryl
JUNE 2, 2004
!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME!!!!!!!!!!
Reflections at One Year Post-Op (Warning - really long)
I don’t distinctly remember the day that I made the decision to have weight loss surgery, but I do very distinctly remember the first person I told. I was sitting on my front porch with my brother and I said, “You know, I think I’m going to have weight loss surgery. What do you think?” He said, “That’s a last resort step. Has it really gotten to that?” I looked into my heart and said, “Yes, it has.”
See, I had accomplished a lot of things that I set out to do. When I turned 30 I realized that I wanted to complete my bachelor’s degree. I went back to school at night and graduated with Honors with my Business Management degree. I bought my first house and had made it to a place in the company where I felt like I wasn’t going to advance any further because of my weight. Then I hurt my back – severely. I was “down” in my back for a full three months and could barely walk. I would cry all the way home from work and lay on the sofa for hours and hours at night waiting for time to go to bed. I was depressed because of the pain in my back. I developed sciatica. My left leg went numb from my thigh down to my toes. I was continually having increasing health problems. I knew without a doubt that I would be in a wheelchair or possibly die within the few years if I didn’t lose the weight very, very soon.
From there, I started asking a ton of questions to a friend of mine at work – Melinda. She’d had open RNY done about two years before that. She had hit her goal weight and was maintaining quite well. She encouraged me to research the surgery and while doing that I found Obesity Help.com I tirelessly spent hours and hours doing research on the internet – mainly through OH. OH helped me find my surgeon, Dr. Adam Naaman.
In January 2003, I actively began my pursuit of WLS. I went to my regular doctor, contacted Dr. Naaman, scheduled an appointment, did everything I needed to do. I was approved in one week by Blue Cross/Blue Shield of Texas. That was in March 2003. Dr. Naaman had openings in May, but I couldn’t do that because of conflicts at work. I opted for June 2, 2003.
Time flew by for me – and on June 2, 2003, I had my rebirth. I didn’t know it then, but the surgery has completely changed my life. For the better. I had no complications. I had an exceedingly easy recovery. I lost 17 pounds my first week and by about 3 months, I had lost 89 pounds. I very distinctly remember telling my sister Kathie that I wanted to lose 100 pounds by Christmas. That was my goal. I hit that goal by my 4 month anniversary – in early October 2003.
I didn’t think that the surgery would be successful for me. I remember telling myself that if I lost 100 pounds, then it would have been worth it. And it would have been. I would have been happy with that.
On the day of my first consult with Dr. Naaman, I weighed 342. I am 5’7” tall. My BMI was over 54. Today, on my one year anniversary, I weigh 183 pounds. I have had a loss of 159 pounds. (I keep fighting three pounds.) If this is it for me, then that’s okay – I am so very, very happy with my weight loss. I was wearing a size 28 jeans and a 32 top. Today I am wearing a size 12 jeans and a 14 top (usually).
I still have a ways to go with this body of mine. After all the years of abuse that I gave it, I’m doing what I can to make it feel better. There are definitely plastics in my future – on my arms and my breasts for sure - Probably on the tummy and thighs as well.
Do I ever regret having this surgery? I absolutely do NOT. I would do it again every single day if I needed to. EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Are there things that I miss? Well, yes. I miss sugar. I do. Sometimes when I’m stressed out, I would give anything to be able to have a Whataburger with cheese, large fries, and a chocolate malt. Instead, I go grab a sugar free fudgesicle or a lunch meat roll up. My how times have changed.
What am I most grateful for during my journey? I am most grateful that God gave me this surgery as a tool to help me get healthy. I am so very, very grateful that I have had the opportunity to meet all of you guys here on OH.
The best things that I have learned in this year is this: I love myself – I am worthy of a good life – and I am worth the effort that it takes to give myself the healthy body that I abused for so long. It’s worth the effort and the pain and the ups and downs of this surgery to know that I will be here for an extra 10-15 years and that those years will be healthy ones. And one more “best” thing – I’ve learned how very important it is to give back what has been given to me – the support, encouragement, and love that I have received from my family, my friends, my loved ones, and all of you on the Texas board.
So onward and upwards – I’m on my way to my 2nd anniversary. It's been a helluva ride, folks. And one that I am so, so grateful for. I never imagined that life could really feel this good. (Yes, even with the ulcer and some of the other issues that I have that aren't related to the WLS)
To everyone, wherever you are on your journey, God bless you.
8/2/04 Hi everyone. Happy HOT August in Texas. Whew! It is heating up here in Houston. Good grief! Let's see, I am 14 months out from surgery today. As of this morning, I weigh 171 pounds. That is a 50% loss of my total body weight (342 lbs) on my surgery day. I've been at 171 for a week or more now. My latest "goal" weight is 160 lbs. With my height (hey, I gained an inch in height! lol) 160 is just about right. I'm wearing almost all 10s now and I managed to get into a size 8 Bill Blass pants last week. I really do think that's a fluke deal - because no other size 8s in the world fit me, but heck, I'll take it!
Other things have changed besides my weight. For the second time since surgery, I have received a promotion at work. I'm no longer recruiting - thank goodness - and am now working as an HR Generalist. I'm enjoying it so far. This is week 3 on the new job, so let's see how I feel about it in another 3 months. Ha!
My health is good. I've been BAD about taking my vitamins, so last week I recommitted to taking them. Still doing the Flintstones vitamins as that's what my surgeon recommends. Two a day - one in the a.m., one in the p.m. My hair has recovered from its fall-out. It's growing back and therefore is leaving me with quite a disastrous 'do to deal with! That's alright - I'll take it.
The extra skin thing is making me nuts. I absolutely detest my arms. It's so blasted hot here and I would give anything to be able to be comfortable wearing sleeveless shirts. I'm just so embarassed by my arms. The skin on my thighs - well, I look like a sharpei dog, but I can live with that. I can even live with the little bit of belly flab I've got going on, but the arms.... ACK!!!!!!! I desperately want to get a breast lift and enhancement along with a brachioplasty (arm job), but I really don't know where I'm going to get $12k to do it. Gosh, if only I could find a rich man. LOL Yeaaaaaaaaa right.
Well, that's enough from me for the day. This is me: 5'8" 171 pounds, size 10. :-D Not a bad deal for 14 months. YAAAAY!
Update soon. Love to all. Cheryl
This is my sweet girl, Cleocatra a/k/a Cleo
9/24/04 Just a quick update. I'm only about 3 pounds away from my goal of 160 pounds. This morning's weight was 163. I'm just so amazed, still, by the changes in my body and in my life since my surgery about 16 months ago. I fell off the wagon in a big way yesterday. I ate a piece of cake. REAL cake with GOBS of sugar. Oh boy. And I obviously don't dump. Good grief. All this time without real sugar and now I find out that I can tolerate it. Hmm, what's a sugar-freak like me to do? I'm going to try to remember what it was like being 342 pounds every single day and know that Little Debbies and cakes and pies and all that crap are just NOT worth it.
I'm seriously considering getting some counseling for a lot of different things; mainly this whole body image thing. While I see it more and more, I seem to look at myself and think, "I am SO FAT." Please, now, I KNOW that 163 and a size 10 is not fat, but I think what I'm seeing is the extra skin. My mind hasn't caught up with my body yet and I really think that I need some professional help in dealing with this. I'm also having problems in the whole relationship arena. Not ever having much attention from men and now getting it all the time is really throwing me for a loop. I recently thought that I had found "Mr. Right" and turns out, it was just Mr. Right Now, I guess. My history of poor self esteem where men are concerned is causing me to just jump into relationships with both feet, and of course, I'm getting hurt in the end. I need to work on that.
I was reading someone's post on the board a while ago and sat there thinking about how much my life has changed over the last 16 months. Not only did I get a promotion after losing about 80 pounds, I've gotten a bigger promotion since then. My salary has increased substantially, my life has certainly changed, and doors of opportunity seem to be opening up all around me. Why is it that those doors were closed just because I was morbidly obese? Part of me wants to get angry because of that. The other part is just proud of my accomplishments. Sounds like another issue for a therapist. LOL!!
Anyway, I guess that's it for now. Onward and upward (and down 3 more pounds soon, I hope.). Bless you wherever you are in your journeys. Much love, Cheryl
10/1/04 Oh my gosh - would you look at this? Another update so soon! I must be getting better at this........ okay, or not. :-) Here's a post that I just put on the Texas Board and I like it, so I thought I'd put it here too:
Do you realize.....
Do any of you who have already had WLS or are going to have it realize just how special you really are? Let me explain.
I was telling a group of ladies yesterday that I'd had gastric bypass 16 months ago. One woman stared at me and said, "Why? You're so little." I said, "Well, yes, but I used to be big," and I explained to them that I had lost 180 pounds in a year and a half. The look of sincere amazement was on all of their faces.
During my 18 hour work day yesterday and this morning in my deliriously tired state of mind, I started thinking about all of us. We are amazingly courageous, special, and strong people. ALL OF US. We all fought years of being morbidly obese: the horror of being laughed at, the discrimination, the self-depreciation, the loneliness. We all have one goal - to better ourselves and become healthy by any means. WLS is a highly drastic option - and we all know that or knew that going into this journey. How many people would risk their lives in order to live life like they want and deserve? Not many, really. We are pioneers. We are strong. We ARE special and wonderful and we know it, right? RIGHT! (Well, you do now.....)
I have had the distinct pleasure to watch so many of you for the last couple of years fight for the right to live life. I've seen a lot of fear, frustrations, and sadness. But mostly, I've seen love, growth, encouragement, and triumph. I am so, so proud of each of you. You are such wonderful people and I just want you to know that YOU ARE SPECIAL and part of an exclusive set of ground-breaking people. Each of us should be inherently proud of what we've done, are about to do, or are trying to get done. This battle against obesity is likely to be the biggest fight of your lives. We are winners! You guys rock and I am proud to be a part of a group of folks like you.
Wherever you are in your journey and your fight against obesity - keep the faith, good luck, and God bless you.
Cheryl
Lap RNY 6/2/03
10/16/04 Happy October. :-D Well, I'm at goal. YEAAAAAAAH. 162 lbs. Stick a fork in me - I'm done. I've actually been here for a couple of weeks, I think. I don't weigh very much anymore. Usually once a week - just whenever I think about it. I've noticed that my weight fluctuates up and down a couple of pounds. I don't get upset over it as long as I don't gain more than 2 or 3 pounds, I'm good. I had originally set my goal at 160. I decided a couple of weeks ago that 2 pounds wasn't going to make a lick of difference in my clothing size or anything else, and being at 162, well, that means I've lost a nice round number of 180 pounds. Can you even imagine that? 180 pounds. Good grief, Charlie Brown!!! It's wonderful, but I really have to ask myself why did I get like that in the first place? I have missed out on so much life because of food. I thought food was my friend and my comfort - but how is that possible when it just caused me a life of unhappiness and loneliness? Hm, not much of a friend really, is it?
I've had a couple of WLS Moments the last two weeks - all relating to my clothes size. I'm pretty firmly in a size 10 jeans. Sometimes I can wear an 8 in khaki pants or something like that, but honestly, I like the size 10s. The Perfect 10. LOL So back to my WLS Moments. A friend of mine was walking behind me and said, "Um, can I ask you something? Are you like a size 6 now? And when are you going to be done?" (Newbies, being asked when you're going to be through losing is a weird thing and it will be asked of you a LOT the closer you get to goal....) Then a co-worker was talking to me and said, "So you're wearing a size 6, right?" Well, glory, if I can wear a 10 and LOOK like a size 6, I think that's pretty cool. LOL I also met a man the other night for the first time and he knew about my WLS. He told me later that he can't imagine me weighing 180 pounds more. He said, "All I could think is how could this LITTLE BITTY GIRL have weighed that much." LITTLE BITTY GIRL? WHO ME? rofl Okay, I'll take it. LOL
I would like to encourage all of you to be sure and update your profiles and share your stories. I received a lovely e-mail from a lady on this website that said that my profile had helped her. I thought that was really nice and made me realize that my story might actually be important to someone. Yours might be too. I go back and read my profile a lot to remind myself of the struggles, the happiness, and the occasional frustrations. It's important to remember where I was.
Okay, enough of all this. It's fall and it's time to get outside. Yay fall! The cooler weather has finally arrived in Texas. Time to pull out the sweaters! YAAAAY! God bless you all wherever you are in your journey - it's a journey well worth taking.
Picture of me and my sister, Kathie - in New York City - March 2005
April 3, 2005 - Good Sunday morning. It's been absolutely too long since I've updated. Today is the time change - Time to Spring Forward! Anyway, life is good here in H'lands, Texas. Work is still work - I enjoy it for the most part. Back in January '05, I bought my ultimate reward for the weight loss. I had promised myself years and years ago that if I would "lose the weight," I would buy myself the fastest, baddest Mustang GT I could get. Well, I got her. It's an '05 Mustang GT, Silver with Black leather interior. S-E-X-Y!!!!!!!!! Here's a picture of Sally, the car..... get it? Mustang Sally........... LOL
My honey, Philip, is in love with the car. And speaking of being in love - I am too! With Philip (and the car... lol). Philip is my age, 35, and has 3 little girls from his first marriage. He's been divorced for 4 years. We went on our first date 11/20/04 and we have been very, very happy for the last 4.5 months. It's hard sometimes for me to realize that I'm HAPPY. I'm happy with ME... with my body, with my life, and with my love. Amazing what can happen when you lose 182ish pounds. Now speaking of poundage.... I seem to fluctuate up and down anywhere from 5-10 pounds on any given month. I don't understand it. But according to my very normal sisters, regular people (those naturally thin) do this too. Gain and lose - depending on the time of month for ladies, and of course, the dreaded exercise and what they eat. I guess weight is a battle for most people - not just those who are obese.
At my last check up with Dr. Naaman, he's ready to release me. I go back in 6 months after finding a regular doctor that can take over my care. It's almost like graduating. ;-) I was excited and a little sad at the same time. I can NOT express enough my genuine gratitude to Dr. Naaman enough. That man, with his surgical skill, SAVED MY LIFE. I have lost 95% of my excess weight. I grew an inch taller. LOL So, my stats are 5'8" tall and 162 pounds (most of the time). That puts my BMI around 24. I am NORMAL. Did you hear me? I AM NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On another note, 3 weeks ago on St. Patrick's Day, I had to put my very special sweet angel cat, Callie, to sleep. This is very hard for me to write - even now 3 weeks later. Everytime I see her picture of think of her, I get a little sad. God let me borrow my Callie Girl for about 10 years and I am so very thankful for that. But she was my best cat friend - you know animals - they never judge you for what you look like. They judge you based on what you feed them. LOL But my Callie - wow. What a good girl she was. Philip went with me and I was able to hold my Callie while she died. It was the hardest thing I have EVER done in my life. I just held her, stroked her head, cried and kissed her little face. When it was over, I wrapped her up in a towel (those were her favorite napping place), and kissed her little face one more time and told her I loved her forever. We buried her next to the jonquils that were blooming in my backyard. It broke my heart. Still does. I also bought a little black and white cat flag and put it out there on her grave along with some petunias and some little windchimes. I know that might sound a little weird to some people, but you have to know that I loved her with all my heart. She now is truly my little angel kitten. I love her still.
Anyway, so back to happier things. In February, I went to NYC for 5 days. It was wonderful. You can click on my www up there at the top and see pics of the trip. You can also see pictures of Sally, the Mustang. Mustang Sally. Yep. lol I know, I'm SO original. LOL There are also some pictures of me and Philip. So while life can be sad sometimes, it can also be quite wonderful. I am so blessed. Thank you, Lord, for giving me this life.
To all of you - wherever you are on your journey - it's not easy. It's very bumpy, but you can do this and it's well worth the bumps and bruises on this ride. Love to you all. Cheryl
5/30/05 Good morning everyone and Happy Memorial Day. This week, on Thursday, June 2nd, I will celebrate my 2 year WLS anniversary. 2 years! WOWIE. I wanted to post this a little early because as most of you know, I'm celebrating my 2 year WLS anniversary in a different way. No cake for me! I'm starting the end of my journey - I'm having plastic surgery on the same day I started this wild ride.
**warning this is rather long winded**
I don't know that I have a lot to tell everyone about the last 2 years, really. I started out at 5'7.5" and 342 lbs. Today, I'm 5'8" (yep, gained a half inch) and 165 lbs. The losing part of the journey was the easy part for me. Maintenance is much more difficult, in my opinion. I was a very fast loser. I lost 87 pounds in 11 weeks and was at goal by about 15 months out (I think!). Learning new eating patterns was hard, but I just ate what my body was craving. If I started thinking about steaks, I knew my body needed protein - so I would eat it. I never ate "low fat" or "lite" foods. I did cut out the carbs for about the first year. NO sugar for the first year and NO sodas. Now, I enjoy some sugar and the occasional soda, but for the most part I still stay away from them.
What have I learned in 2 years? I've learned that it wasn't the weight that was stopping me from living, really. It was me. It was my mind set that said that people were staring at me and making fun of me that kept me holed up in my house. Losing the weight gave me more confidence, but I STILL sometimes think that people are staring and making fun. The old insecurities are still there sometimes. It's hard to lose the "fat" mentality. I've learned that despite everything, WLS is certainly the hardest way to lose weight ever. The weight coming off was not hard - but living with small portions when you're a food addict was very, very difficult. Making the decision to get on that OR table was a difficult decision - but also the BEST decision I've ever made for myself.
In two years, I have become "normal" in the weight category - but don't consider myself a "normal" person because of my special nutritional and supplement needs and because of my very specialized digestive system. It has taken my brain two solid years to come to terms with this new body of mine. My brain has just recently wrapped itself around the fact that I am tall and thin and not tall and fat anymore. That was very probably the hardest part in all reality. Getting my head wrapped around my new body image. Losing that kind of weight so fast really can do a number on what you see versus what other people see! Give it time, though - and your mind will start to see you for who you really are.
I've learned that support, whether online or in person, is very important. And for me - giving support is more valuable than receiving it. I don't really participate in support groups because they're just not my thing - but giving support here has been invaluable.
I've learned that WLS is not what defines me. The weight never was what defined me - I just didn't know it. It's my heart and mind and actions that define me. Getting rid of the outer shell of obesity just helped me to find the inner me - the REAL me.
I've learned that losing the fat girl was hard - she was a protection of sorts. And for a long time I felt lost without her. I'd lost my wall of protection from the big, bad world. Turns out, life is good without her. I still appreciate her, but don't miss her so much. That girl kept me away from fun things that I'd missed so much: roller coasters, tubing down the Guadalupe, romance, really a lot of things!
And more than anything - I've learned to love me for me. That is indeed a hard lesson to learn. These last 2 years have been fun, crazy, inspiring, difficult, and enlightening (in more ways than one). When I finally realized that I love me, it opened the door to let others love me too. I just wonder why it took losing 180 lbs for that to happen. Hmmmmm.
Thank you all, who have been here for me over the last couple of years. You've all inspired me in some way - some more than others. You've all made me laugh, smile, cry, feel loved, and have given me inspiration in a variety of ways. It has been my pleasure to watch so many of you in your journeys. Some folks on here like to tell me that I'm their inspiration, but in reality - you guys are mine.
For all of you just starting your journey, please do your research. This isn't for everyone. I never recommend WLS to anyone. I tell them that I will share MY experiences, but I'm the atypical WLS patient. I have lost 98% of my excess weight and most don't do that. I lost very fast and most don't do that. I am certainly not the norm. Education is definitely the key to this surgery - and I'm really glad that I researched it for a year prior to contacting a surgeon; and continue to research it on a regular basis. I will say that this has been the most satisfying experience of my life - and gratifying. It's just so nice to be healthy!!!!!!!!! The thin part is just the proverbial icing on the cake.
So I guess that's it for my 2 year anniversary. Yep, it's long winded and probably a little choppy - but I wanted to let you all know what I've learned. I'm happy that I'm starting the end of my journey on the same day that I began it - I think it's appropriate for that day. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers on Thursday. And thank you for all the thoughts and prayers and support that you've given me over the years.
Have a great holiday and I will talk to you all soon.
Much love,
Cheryl
@ Goal
Lap RNY 6/2/03
PS - 6/2/05
6/11/05 Okay - I survived Plastic Surgery. On 6/2/05, on my 2 year WLS anniversary, I began the completion of my weight loss journey. So, I'm done now. I had a brachioplasty (arm lift), and breast lift with saline implants. You can see pics of my WLS journey and of the plastic surgery scars and stuff on my www at the top of this profile. Plastics are interesting. When I look at the incision on my arms, I wonder how in the world I had the courage to do that. But I have to tell you, as much pain as I have been in for the last 9 days and the swelling and the bruising, and the complaining and crying - I LOVE MY ARMS AND MY NEW BOOBIES!!!!! lol My arms are just TINY!!!!!!!! I can't wait for this weird puckering look to go away on my arms and not have the "just operated on" look anymore. As for my boobs - well... I've had a complication. My left breast looks GREAT. Best looking left boob ever. But then there's the right one. She's just a BAD, BAD girl. Sheesh. The stupid implant (saline) has decided it's a wanderer. It doesn't like to stay in the breast and has escaped from Boobatraz. (I'm trying to keep my sense of humor here). Dr. LoMonaco is frustrated and concerned (as am I) about the right breast. Looks like he's going to have to go back in after it in a couple of weeks (4-6 weeks) and create a breast pocket for the implant that it will stay in. He's not real sure what the problem is - but what I know is that when that implant leaves the breast, it HURTS and it makes my breast look totally deformed. Good GRIEF!!!!! Dr. L saw me on Thursday and asked why I couldn't be a normal patient and have problems with the arms. He said he never has problems with the boob jobs. Typical me to be atypical in everything that I do!!!! But anyway, I'm wearing a special support brace kind of thing for the wayward boob. But no bra, actually. That's a little strange and kind of funny. I've never had perky breasts before and to have them stand up on their own with no bra is very cool! lmao Of course, around the house, that's one thing - but going out in public with no bra on is a no no for me - even if they do look okay. I just can't do it. So I put on a very light weight bra (per dr's orders) and wear it. But my arms are GREAT. I love Dr. L and highly recommend him. www.drlomonaco.com for all your plastic surgery needs.
Anyway, other than THAT, nothing is going on. I'm just maintaining day to day. I have noticed that it has been easy for me to cry after the plastic surgery. I don't know why. Probably a combination of the anesthesia, the pain meds, the pain, the being stuck in the house, and the boredom. But I'm trying to fight the depression. I do want to mention that my honey, Philip, has been my strength this last week. He has been with me every night and has helped me SO much - he'll never know how much I truly love and appreciate him. Here's a pic of me and Philip @ Christmas. LOL
My grandmother passed away on Saturday, June 4th. This wasn't unexpected and I had even considered postponing my PS until after her death. But everyone urged me to go ahead. My grandmother, Dixie Marie Davis, was 94 years old when she passed away. She had advanced Alzheimer's. Seeing my grandmother go through this disease - I know that being old with a mental disease is the worst way to live. I would rather be old with physical ailments than lose my memories. Very, very sad. She was a wonderful lady who loved Jesus, her family, and her church unconditionally. I love my Mammaw and will miss her. God got a VERY special angel on 6/4/05. Thanks to my mother for all the wonderful love and care that she gave my Mammaw during her last years.
This is a pic of my grandmother with a lot of her grandchildren on her 94th birthday:
Okay, that's it. That's all I've got for y'all today. :-) Wherever you are on your journey - remember that Little Debbie is the anti-christ, put down the chips, pick up the protein, get in your water, walk your butt off - and lose that weight!
Love to all,
Cheryl
This pic was taken about 5 weeks post-op plastics:
Here's a picture of my newest kitten, Graycie. She cracks me up. This is her Peek-a-boo pic!!!!!!!!
5/7/06 Goodness - it has been a LONG time since I've updated. Way too long in fact. Things are going well. I just returned a week ago from Iraq and Kuwait on a "business trip". A 5 week long business trip. It was certainly an enlightening experience. Not something that I care to repeat, really. Here's a link to pictures from there:
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/gettinskinnyfast/album?.dir=/60bf&.src=ph
Good news, I lost a few pounds while I was over there. Better news, Philip and I are still together and going strong. We're talking about the big M. Scary, huh? lol It's a wonderful life after WLS.
I'm going in for a little re-do on my plastics. The boobs are falling due to the weight of the implants and the stretchiness of my skin - so I need another lift. Dr. L is also going to work on my left elbow again - it's puffy and needs to be pulled tighter. I'll probably have that done in a month or so.
Take care wherever you are in your journey - it's one well worth living. Hugs, Cheryl
congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud
which happy bunny are you?
Music Video:WRITE THIS DOWN (by George Strait)
About Me
Before & After
rollover to see after photo
