4/2003 - I am a 33 year old mother of 4 who is morbidly obese. I weigh over 300lbs and I have tried all I can to get healthy. My results have been failures or regaining the weight plus some. I am scared for my life at this point and want to become healthy for myself and my family!

Weight Loss Chart
329 1st appt. 10/2003
324 2cd appt. 1/2004
320 March, 2004
318 Day of Surgery 3/22/2004
304 1wk postop 3/29/04
298 2wk postop 4/8/04
296 3wk postop 4/12/04
292 4wk postop 4/21/04
290 5wk postop 4/26/04
286 7wk postop 5/10/04
282 8wk postop 5/18/04
277 9wk postop 5/24/04
272 10wk postop 6/1/04
270 11wk postop 6/7/04
269 12wk postop 6/14/04
266 13wk postop 6/21/04
263 14wk postop 6/28/04
259 15wk postop 7/05/04 -61(lbs)-70 since 1st visit
257 16wk postop 7/12/04
255 17 wk postop 7/20/04
253 18 wk postop 7/25/03 -67lbs -76lbs since 1st visit
247 19 wk postop 8/2/04 -73lbs (-82)
245 20 wk postop 8/9/04241 22 wk postop 8/28/04
239 9/5/04 -90lbs
235 almost 6 months postop 9/19/04 -95lbs
232 7 months post op 10/14/04 -97lbs
229 almost 8 months 11/12/04 -100lbs
219 2/13/05 11 months postop -110lbs
212 9/04/05 18 months postop
204 04/12/06 25months postop
200 04/04/07 36 months postop
195 07/17/07 39 months postop
182  04/03/08

I just passed my four year anniversary since surgery and I am doing great still.  I am continueing to lose.  I have lost consequatively now for the past four years. I am into a size 12 comfortably and its actually a little loose.  I look at life and food so diffrently now.  Its not my main priority.  My life does not revolve around food any longer.  I am going thru different stresses personally, but for once I am not handling it with food and binge eating. I would love to help anyone out there understand obesity and surgery more..please feel to email or ask any questions.  I cant explain the way it feels to be thin and fit and live life thru these eyes now and not that of a morbidly obese woman.  Nothing feels this way..nothing...the powerful feelings an all that you can accomplish when you feel good in your skin is amazing.

It gets so hectic and busy that I dont always update.  Its been over three years since my surgery and I am feeling wonderful!  I am a comfortable size 14,  my biggest was a 30/32.  I never thought I would see the day that I am in a 14.  My goal is a 10 or 12.  I have been going to the gym and trying to stay healthy.  Its soo hard, the old ways and habits are always with it.  Food is such a part of everything we do.  I just realized that the reason we are told not to drink soda or thru straws is because of the risk of making your opening larger in your pouch and the gas from carbonation ext.  could stretch out your pouch.  I am a big diet coke drinker. Its my all day need it beverage like most people need coffee.  I did not drink the first year after surgery, but I do now.  So I have been consectively losing for 3 years so I must be ok, but I am nervous I did something.  I can eat two slices a pizza usually, so that makes me nervous, but the good thing is I dont eat the whole pizza anymore!  I couldnt if I tried.  I just want to keep going and reach my goals so I want to lose about another 20-25lbs, thats what I am working on.  Life is great though I feel incredible. I at first didnt see it, but over the past year I do notice the differences big time and I notice the way other notice me.  I see when someone is checking me out and at first I still feel like oh my god they are looking at me cause I am the biggest one in the room, then I realize no...they are looking at me because they like what they see.  That is a new feeling to get adjusted too, but its nice.  One day in the car with my husband we were dressed up going to a wedding shower and I pulled down the visor and looked in the mirror and I really looked twice, because I didt recognize the person looking at me.  I never thought the day would come when I considered myself an average sized attractive person.  Its a great feeling and I know we all can achieve this.  Especially if I did it, read my story..read my ups & downs and look at the pics.  And thats only a small glimpse of who I was, I love who I am now..but I never lost who I was at heart..I just helped her find her way to the outside!!  Life is good!!!  I would reccomend if anyone out there has not heard of 'The Secret" the you must get it read it..watch the movie and live your life that way..it really comes true.  I always since I was in my early 20s pictured myself in a nice pair of white shorts with a cute top and cute shoes..I could see that person in my head for years and years..well this summer that picture came to life!  It felt great.  THOUGHTS BECOME THINGS!! Live it, ask for it, believe it and receive it!!  That is truly the secret to life!  Good luck everyone.

It's been two years now since my surgery and I am feeling wonderful. I am down to a size 14/16 and its so great. I have started losing again so that is good. I hope to get down to about 190 for my goal 180 would be awesome, but I am just so grateful to be where I am at. It has been hard and lots of struggles just dealing with the emotional eating stuff, but I am healthy and feel wonderful and that is the most important part!!

I have not updated in awhile. I think the main reason is because I feel like I have failed..I know after losing 120 something lbs, you would think that I would feel succesful. I guess I just thought that I would really get to be under 200lbs and maybe even thin looking. I mean I look much thinner and healthier, but I guess just not my own picture of how I would be. I guess I have no one to blame but myself, the surgery was a huge success. I survived it for one, I have had no medical complications what so ever!! I am grateful for that and grateful for my wonderful surgeon Dr. Ameri and his team that helped me with all this. Now its up to me to do the real work. He did surgery on my stomach not my head and my head is where I need to keep up the work. I wish anyone getting ready to go thru this process tons of luck and please please get yourself as much info as possible first and do the steps you need to do before the surgery. It is so important to be educated when making this life altering decision. I am glad I did, I have no regrets!! This was truly a life saving decision for me to take.

5/23/05 It has been along time since I updated, time seems to slip away from us. I must say not too much has happened with me weight wise. I am still 219lbs. I was hoping to be about 190 by now. I feel good and stuff and have not had one complication relating to the surgery, but I am just stuck and not losing anymore. I think that is why I have not been to a meeting. I feel like I failed cause I can't shake this last 20-40lbs more that I need to lose. I am disappointed in myself. I really wanted to be a testimonial for people considering this surgery cause so much goes along with it, not just the medical effects, but pyschologically as well. OH well...I hope everyone else is doing great!! I hope to see or hear from you all soon.
2/13/2005 I can't believe almost a year has passes since my surgery. What a year it has been. I am a little disappointed that I have only lost 110lbs I was hoping to have lost closer to 150 by the time my anniversary rolled around. I guess I have no one to blame but myself, time and again we are told this is a tool not a miracle. I had some difficulties during the fall/winter with just snacking all day on junk food, chips, crackers ect.. It was so easy to do, but reality is I had this surgery to save my life and give me a longer life with my family, so I have to really start working hard to fight my addicition to food and finish up this process. I am hoping to lose at least another 50lbs before my 18month time. I have been working out and going to the gym and actually enjoying it for now. Its a hard road for anyone out there who is just beginning the process...Please figure out your relationship with food and why you got to the weight your at in the first place. I am an addict to food, that is my drug and it is a very hard battle no different than an alcoholic or a drug addict, just the difference is that we need food to live and so we need to be around it constantly!! I am working on my addictions and the reasons I am an addict in the first place, but its hard.
11/29/04 Since my last update I really have just been bouncing between 229-230, I am very disappointed with myself for not continueing to lose. I know its my own fault, I have been snacking on junk (chocolate,chips,cakes ect.) although my stomach is smaller, I can still eat that crap!! I know when I am full and I do stop when I am full. But I have no eating routine, I dont have a breakfast, lunch or dinner reguaraly. I am struggling so hard with my old eating habits!! Remeber this is a tool not a miracle. I was walking reguraly for awhile, which I enjoy, but I have been lacking in that lately. I just can't believe with losing a 100lbs, and feeling so good, how the hell can I eat the crap that ruined me in the first place. I really thought I was over my demons that brought me to this addiction in the first place. Food is definately an addiction for me. I hope I win this battle. I really wanted so bad to be under 200lbs by Xmas, I know that is not going to happen now, but maybe by my 1 year anniversary in March.
11/13/04 I am finally down 100lbs exactly since my journey to surgery began. It has been such a bad year for me, that its almost hard to be excited about the changes my body has taken. I want to feel excited that I have lost 100lbs, but I feel so much stress in my life with other issues, I havent had the chance to enjoy the weight loss. I also still feel big. I still see myself as the biggest one in a crowd ect. I am trying to get over that and sometimes I will put on clothes and say wow..I look good, thats a new feeling, thinking I look good, then I guess my old thinking kicks in and says no you cant possibly look good!! But anyway..my biggest thing is I feel a little lonely in my weight loss. I have no one close to me who can relate to the things I have gone thru or may still encounter on this journey. I have a close friend who knows one person who has had this surgery and has had tons of complications and she keeps comparing that to me and saying those things will happen to me too. I have had no problems at all so far. I feel great health wise, I still dont eat probably as good as I should be and I still make bad choices at times when I do eat and I am stressed, but all in all..I feel good. This other person is older, a male, a smoker and had other medical conditions as well..so to think the same things can happen to me is not a good comparison. I go see Dr. A next week for a check up, I missed my last appointment. So hopefully all will be good when I see him. Well that is it for me right now. I guess all I can say at this point for anyone wondering what its like for someone who is 8 months out and down 100lbs, it is a long road and I take it all one day at a time!

10/30/04 I am still the same wait just about 232. I have not lost in awhile. I also have been eating lots of bad foods lately. I hate the fact that junk food goes down so easily and yet sometimes good foods get me sick. I have been going thru some personal issues that have me retreating to my comfort zone...FOOD!! One of the major things we need to do before we have this surgery is deal with our relationship with food and why it exists, I thought I had done that, but like any addict when stressed and pushed to the wall food is my only way out. It is pretty sad cause it does not change the situation at all or help in any way, in fact it only hurts more in the long run. I don't know what to do to get control! I admire people who do it. I know its one day at a time, I just wish I could get thru one day!! I am really down these days, not at all related to the surgery, but it makes me doubt myself and I wonder will I ever lose the additional 50lbs more I need to lose or will I always be my own worst enemy. On a positive note for 4 weeks I have been walking 5 days a week for about an hour. I am thrilled that I finally started moving my body again, but I wish I could control the food intake. I dont know what to do, I dont ever want to be that out of control again, I hope I can get thru all this and continue to lose weight! At least my hair has stopped falling out. :) Take care all, I will update again, hopefully with more positive stuff.
9/19/04 I just came from Lane Bryant and I bought myself a new outfit. I can't believe that my pants are an 18 and so is my top!! It felt so incredible to put on clothes and have to actually put them back cause they were to big!! I also got two new bras, what a feeling. My old size was a 30/32 and now I am an 18 who would of every thunk it!! I will be totally amazed if I ever get down to a 14, but hey I am enjoying this for now. Hope all is well with everyone else. Please keep in touch.

9/5/04 It's been a little over 5 months since I had my surgery. I am down about 90lbs. My hair loss is getting less finally! It is helpful to be able to share everyones different experiences, because no two people handle things the same way, but everyone goes thru something similar. One thing that is funny about me is that I notice when I am eating and get full I start sneezing uncontrollably and then if I ignore the warning sign and still continue to eat I end up getting sick and throwing up. I have never dumped that I know of. I can eat unfortunately eat candy and ice cream if I chose to, but I know that is what got me in this situation so I try to limit it, I dont deprive myself either. I just can eat less so that does help. I have the urges to overeat, but physically my body just wont let me. This truly has been a gift I was given to get my health under control. I still feel very big, but I know I am tremendously smaller than I have been in many many years. I do feel a different energy and zest for life. I hope this continues. I still need to lose at least 60 or 75lbs to be at an average weight. I cant wait to be average!! I cant wait to just be in under 200lbs, that will feel like a miracle. I have had to miss the last two meetings and they are so helpful. I have a work function on the 14th and I am very torn over which to attend. I wish the meeting was this week!! UGH! My heart is telling me to to go the meeting, I feel awful that I missed the last two. Anyone reading this who is new to WLS please know how important support is during this time. No one in your immediate life who is not severly overweight will ever understand you or your decision to have this surgery the way your support group peers do. It is comforting to know that strangers can be so kind and caring and helpful during this major life changing process. I thank each and everyone of the special women I have met thru this and look forward to seeing you all again soon. Have a great holiday weekend everyone!!

11/25/03 I had my first appointment with Dr. Ameri and his staff in October. I was very happy with him and feel very confident to have him for my surgeon. I have gotten all the paperwork needed to submit to my insurance for approval and I am hoping that Linda from Dr. Ameri's office will be able to send that off this week. Now the wait to hear if I am approved or not! I pray I get approved. I have gone to several of the support meetings in Stoneham and each time I have learned something very valuable that has only validated my decision to have this surgery. I feel if I did not choose Dr. Ameri, then I would not feel as confident about going thru with this procedure. It is a life decision and not to be taken lightly. It is not an easy fix to a problem, but a tool that I know will guide me to good health!!

12/05/03 Well, I found out yesterday that my paper work had been faxed off to the wrong department of my insurance company last week. Instead of my Insurance forwarding it on to the correct department they did nothing. So Linda faxed everything again to the correct place. I hope I hear something soon. I am feeling so blah today. I didn't know where to turn to express myself today. I kinda just want to cry, so I thought hey,,I would just write it here online and see if I feel better. My mom has been very sick in hospital for over 6 weeks now, each day something else seems to go wrong. She is diabetic and most of her problems are due to that and the fact that she is so overweight. She neglected herself and her diabetes for 20 years and now is paying the price. This is another wake up call for me, I do not want to become her. I have four children that I care about so much and want to be there for them for a very long time to come. My children are the most important thing in the world to me and of course my husband and my best friend and her family. It is so hard to see my mom this way and I feel so numb because she allowed this to happen to herself. I do know that I am the only one who can take care of me and the start is to have this surgery and finally start to live!! I don't know why I am so sad today? Maybe the holidays and stress and my mom, I dont know. I try to get thru each day positive and grateful for healthy children and a home for us, but today I just dont feel like I have the energy. I should be putting up decorations and tending to my son and do my daily things, but just not up to it. I hope this feeling passes. Well I will end for now.

December 16, 2003 I spoke with my insurance co. yesterday and they said I should have an answer by Wednesday. I hope it is approved. I need something to look forward to. I feel like I take 5 steps forward and 10 steps back sometimes. Yesterday I had a bad day so I turned to my drug of choice food, I ate some much yesterday compulsively. I feel like maybe I don't deserve this surgery, my head can not even control myself for one bad day. I had been doing so good for a few weeks, but now I dont know what is wrong. Maybe the holidays and all the personal stuff going on. Anyway...Maybe some good news from the insurance will keep my motivation up.

12/20/03 I am still waiting to hear from my Ins. I called them Wednesday like they said, but no answer yet. I really was hoping that I would find out and be able to have January Surgery date, but I am sure that is not possible. I just have to be patient. I know. When it is the right time for me, I will know!! Hope all is well with everyone. Have a wonderful Holiday!!

12/29/03 Well, I was approved for my surgery on the 24th. That was a nice Xmas gift I must say. I am really excited, but now just waiting for my second appt. date. I hope to be able to get a surgery date of March!! I am just going crazy living this way. I want to take my body off. If you know what I mean. I watch shows on TV and all these skinny girls put on fat suits to see what it is like, but I can't put on a skinny suit to see what that is like. It is cruel!! I hate being overweight, I hate that I can't lose weight any other way, and I hate that I have had no control for so long!! Making this move to have this surgery is my first step towards control. I just can't live this way anymore. On Christmas day, my feet and knees hurt so bad from all the xmas prep and stuff..I felt awful. I needed to keep sitting down, I couldnt even stand for long to cook or do dishes. I am so disgusted with myself. Well...until next time...Bye

1/12/04 I have my second appt. date! WOOHOO, it is January 28th!! It seems like this part of the process is the longest. After my 2cd appt. I may still have to wait weeks to get my surgery date which will be months later!! UGH!! I just want to get this ball rolling before spring so that I can be on the losing side and getting healthy!!!!!! I hate to whine!! I just am soo anxious. I just read Carnie Wilsons book, I'm Still Hungry the other night, it was very good. I just received her first book in the mail, so I will read that tonight. It is great to hear how this surgery has effected so many in different ways. Bye for now. I can't wait to hear how Kathleen is doing, her surgery was today!!

1/28/04 Today I had my second appt. with Louise. It went really well. I was down 5lbs,half the ten I need to lose for surgery. She felt I was ready to be scheduled for surgery...YEAH!!! Now the wait to hear when my date is. I will try to be patient, but I just cant wait to find out when the first day of the rest of my healthy new life will be. I can't even imagine it yet. I am nervous at the thought of what if I fail at this too. I have been overweight for almost 35 years!! (yes I was even born chubby) I have only twice in my life known the taste of being thin, once when I was 12 and had mono and lost like 35lbs and looked great, even though then I still thought I was fat and then once when I lost 65lbs on weight watchers ten years ago, and still was 225lbs, so I was still about 75lbs overweight, but I felt much better. Since then I have gained 100lbs in ten years!! UGH!! I feel awful..look awful...and just want to for once make it to the other side and stay there!!! The thought of me wearing a size 12 is like a fantasy, and truthfully I would be happy with a 18 at this point!! I freakin hate living like this, everyday it is a challenge like, where can I or can't I go cause I might not fit in the seats. In March I have a convention to go to in Miami..I know Yeah right!!! But I am so upset because on the plane I know my butt will need a little bit of my partners seat and what if the 3rd person stuck with us isn't thin..God help them!! I am not to worried about being in Miami with all the beach beauties..I will be in meetings and classes all day, but at night I want to enjoy the shows and have fun, but I will probably hide in a corner! Ok..I am really babbling here aren't I. Thanks for all who read and let me vent. I do appreciate each and every one of the wls people I have met, by sharing all your stories you have helped me to learn so much.

2/18/04 Yesterday I buried my mom. It has been such a long hard week, I don't even know how to go on without her. I kinda feel numb like it all just didnt happen and then I think I will never see her face again. She died on Thursday and I still went for my cardio clearance appt. on Friday. I know more than ever I need to continue forward with my goal to become healthy. I never ever want to live the life my mom lived very sick. I have 4 weeks and 5 days until surgery. I know she will be with me during the surgery and making sure it all goes smoothly. I am worried about losing my 5lbs. I have probably lost and gained it in the past 5 days 3x!! Somedays I can't eat and some I cant help it!! OH well..I know what my mission is I will do it!!

1/30/04 I got a date..I got a date...March 22 is the day my healthy new life gets underway!! Yeah!! Ok..bye for now talk to you all real soon.

3/6/04 The time is getting closer. I can't believe I will be having surgery in almost 2 weeks from Monday. March 22 at 11:40am is when I am scheduled. I am nervous and I am not nervous if that makes any sense at all. I just hope I have lost the weight I need to lose. Well thank you to all of you who keep in touch with me. I know several of you have offered to be my angel and believe me I need angels!!!! THank you all so much. I think if Tanya Cullen is still interested in that role, I would greatly appreciate it. You are all very much appreciated!! Take care and see you on the other side!!

3/14/04 1 week left until surgery. I met with Dr. A and had my preop appts. on Friday. Everything is all set to go. I lost the weight I needed to lose. I honestly can't say I know how to describe my feelings at this time. I am not nervous at this point, I am not excited either. I don't know if part of me just assumes I will fail at this as well as everything else I have ever tried or if I am afraid I will not handle the new life changes well. I guess all I can do is make it one day at a time and hope for the best. I just want to survive the surgery. I have so much left to do in this world. I know my journey is not complete yet, so I am very confident nothing will happen to me, but I can't help it there is always a little shadow of doubt. I thank you all who have written me and given me support and prayers. I know that has helped me a great deal each day to find someone else out there who knows exactly what I am going thru. If anyone has any recommendations for protein drinks and supplements ect..please let me know. Thanks so much and keep in touch.

3/21/04 Tomorrow is the day!!! The day I finally start to get on the right track and take care of my health and my body. I know that this surgery will open up the world to me and allow me to live fully and not be held back because of my weight. I feel like I have this person inside me just bouncing off the walls to get out and be freed from this weight that keeps her down. I truly feel this way and have felt this way for my must of my adult life and teen years. I have had alot of accomplishments in my life, I have a wonderful husband and four wonderful children, I know how blessed I am to have these things, but I have always always felt that I was not fully myself, that I had to be reserved or hang in the background due to my size and my lack of self confidence because of it. I have always had a job dealing with people and the public and I love that, but I hated that I was always reserved because of my size. Now I will be able to be me and go for the things I think I should and not doubt myself in my career or my life. I can not worry about taking my 2 year old to the park and not being able to keep up with him, I can be a mentor for my beautiful teenage daughters who are already struggling with weight issues, maybe due to genetics, maybe due to my bad influence? Either way..tomorrow starts my life fresh and new, the past is behind me, the future of a long healthy life with my family is ahead of me and I can't wait to start it!! I only wish that my mom were here to see me achieve this one goal I have always desired. I wish she was here to achieve her goals that she desired for herself. All I can do is take comfort in knowing she no longer suffers and that she will always be with me!

3/26/04 I am home and made it thru surgery. I am still a little groggy and I am sore where my incisions are, but that is the worst of it. Everything went well and I can say that I came out of surgery feeling a little nervous that I just completely changed around the insides of my body because of my weight. That was kind of a hard thing to swallow..like WOW..there truly was no other way for me to beat this battle with obesity. Dr. Ameri is a wonderful surgeon and I never doubted that I would get thru surgery, I know with him doing the job I was in the best possible hands. I spent the first 24 hours after nausaus and throwing up. When that feeling passed it was great, except I was just sooo sleepy!!I can say that you are pretty much on your own after surgery. The nurses and everyone are sweet people, but dont really have time for you if your the type of person who needs lots attention when not feeling good. This kinda upset me when I was being discharged because from basically 6 in the morning until I was discharged no one came by to check on me or anything other than Dr. Ameri and when someone did pop in and I told them he cleared me to go and removed the drain, they didnt even know that and said they would check on his instructions for me and get back to me...no one did, then the nurse who had me came and ripped out my IV, said I had my instructions already from the office, didnt know when I should come back to have my staples out, told me to call Dr. Ameri's office and sent me on my way. I really thought that I had been told that someone from nurtition would be in to see me when I was in the hospital and no one came and no ever checked to see if I was drinking my 6 little cups of water or how much I had drank, so I dont mean to complain, but that part all kinda got me down, cause I just had major surgery and I felt left on my own.

So I dont mean to complain and again everyone who did deal with me was sweet as can be, but defiantely anyone going in, make sure to just do for yourself as soon as you can. I got up walking yesterday barefoot, because no one was around to ask fo socks..I figured if I waited any longer, I would be home and I really wanted to walk..so I just went strolling barefoot. Ok..so thats my whinig for now. I have no regrets and I just can't wait to keep getting stronger everyday so I can get back into my normal routines.

3/29/04 1week post-op wt. 304lbs -14lbs

I am now 1 week post-op and feeling much better today. The uncomfortableness from the incisions is much better today. I did wake up dizzy and light headed, I was told from another wls patient I have been speaking with that means I need fluids. I got up and made my protein shake. The feeling did pass, but I am still just a little fuzzy. I just want to get my fluids in as much as possible. I hate that my urine is such a dark color. I do not want to become dehydrated at all. I still can't believe I really went thru with this and now my body is completed changed forever. I can say that I sometimes have mixed feelings, this is the mourning stage...what do I do now with all this time I have, usually I fill it up with eating. I am sure when my body gets thinner and I notice the changes and start to feel healthier I will not have any more mixed feelings. I have heard and seen the results from lots of you and I know that it is the best thing we can do for ourselves to beat morbid obesity. I just need to get thru the next 8weeks, so I can start to feel normal again. I look forward to being able to eat a meal for the nurtional value only and to be able to stop when my body says I am full. That will be a wonderful feeling. All I can say is this is not a decision to be made lightly and people considering it should truly do the homework get all the info necessary and then go into it with a clear head. That is the only way to expect results that you can live with for the rest of your life

3/30/04 I am on day 8 now of my new life and so far so good..I just down a 30gram protein shake, so thank goodness for that. I am not liking drinking protein shakes, its not my thing, so that part is pretty hard for me. I feel ok, I am getting in a little more water each day, sometimes I wonder if Dr. A really did the surgery or not, other than discomfort I feel the same. I guess the best part is, I am the same person..of course I havent lost alot of weight yet, but I mean my head feels like the same Cheryl I was before the surgery and I truly believe that even if I get to my desired weight and I am fit and looking better..nothing will change me from being the person I have always been on the inside. I have always thought of myself as a thin person in this body of mine, so my mind set is the same, now my outside will match the inside. I use to go to a compsulive eaters group years ago and I remeber the dr. telling me that I reminded her of the story of The Ugly Duckling and that she new my beautiful swan was inside waiting to come out, now its time..its time to really be who I am and live my life, thinness and health will not cure problems in my life like, finances or what ever..but it will help me have the self confidence to achieve the things that I have held back from and that is the best thing to look forward to, Liking who I am is the first step and I always liked who I was on the inside, now I can like the face in the mirror as well! I spoke with Cheryl Johnson in the hospital last night, she is doing ok, just got to get thru the next few days and I am sure she will be fine. I wish her the best and all of us who are going thru this battle together.

4/1/04 April Fools Day!! Ok, today is another day in my new life. It has been good. I came back to the office today and I love my job, this has been such a good day. I have work going on and I feel good. (staples still are sore) My biggest problem is I am worried about not getting in my fluids and protein. It is hard. I do not think about eating or drinking at all, all day!! If anyone out there has been thru this and I know you have :) please email what to do to get it in. Also, I want food..soft food nothing fancy..but some kind of a food..made my daughter alfredo noodles today and took 1 little noodle and chewed the heck out of it just to get some flavor..I also had an itty bitty bite of mashed carrots and potatos the other day. I am being bad too soon???? I dont mind having to have soft foods..I just dont know how much longer liquids will do it for me. I got two weeks to go...UGH!!! Also not to be grossed but to keep this updated of all my happenings, I have had my period since the surgery..not a typical period but like yucky blood, sometimes brownish and old and sometimes reddish and old looking..anyway, sorry for the bluntness..but anyone experiencing anything similar let me know. Thanks bunches!!

April 8, 2004 On Tuesday I had my staples out and saw Dr. Ameri. Everything is fine. I was down 17lbs on his scale. 22lbs by my home scale. I am still having the hardest time getting in all my fluids and that is probably my worst complaint. I truly want to get in all my protein and fluids but it is very hard!! Last night my husband made some popcorn, that smell is sooo good..I wanted some, but I wasn't hungry and I didnt care that I couldn't have it, so I guess thats a good thing. I do miss food a little but I don't feel that I am mourning it either. I know some people go thru a difficult time mourning food. I am ok with that because my body has no desire for it at all. I do look forward to starting on soft foods because liquids just plain stink!! Ok thats all for now..hope everyone is doing well.

4/12/04 3 weeks postop and I am down 24lbs plus the 10lbs I lost before surgery. Easter went ok, I cooked dinner and it was not a problem at all for me. I ate a tsp. of mashed potatoes with everyone at dinner. The biggest change I have noticed in me since my surgery is my desire to cook for others. I use to hate to cook and hate to do anything associated with food, besides eat it! I knew food was my enemy, yet I had no control to stop eating. Now I have actually enjoyed cooking for my family. It is a weird feeling not to be tempted to pick as you cook. I am really doing ok with all that. Although the desire to eat food again is there, but not to eat to binge, but for health reasons. I am concerned because I have no desire to drink ever or eat,but just this past week I have started having pains in my stomach that I now consider hunger pains and when I eat a yogurt or something it feels better. Broth goes down good to. Water or other beverages just make it hurt. Which stinks because I am not getting in nearly enough fluid or protein. I am very concerned about this and wishing I could will myself to get it in somehow. I did eat two crackers also yesterday and let them dissolve little bits at a time in my mouth, that took away the pain I was having also. I know when I saw Louise to have my staples out she was not happy with me when I told her I had nibbled some mashed carrots. She asked me if I was trying to hurt my pouch or cause trama to it. God...knows I do not want to have any complications and I feel blessed that I am doing all that I am doing now, but I can't hold out with this fluid much longer!! I am sick of the tummy ache. I have been taking my tums..they dont help my tummy but at least I am getting them in. I am looking forward to the meeting tomorrow night. I hope you all have a great time at Polcari's and hopefully next month I can join you all. Girls...please say hi if you see me, sometimes I get nervous and keep to myself...but I really want to see you all and chat. My hubby will be with me, Dr. A said it will be a good meeting to bring him to. Take care and see you all tomorrow.

4/21/04 4 weeks post op and I am down 28lbs. I feel like I am not going to succeed a this. I have been haveing my soft foods this week and everything is going down fine and within an hour later I feel like something else, wether it be a cracker or whatever. Is that my old ways..always looking for something to put in my mouth. I don't know. I feel like I can eat anything I want, just in moderation. I am actually nervous to start solid foods in 4 more weeks, but excited too...I want to eat a salad so bad! This has been a very hard month. It has gone by and I am doing ok, but I still feel like I will fail. There is just no way I can possibly ever weigh under 200 lbs!!! I can't even fathom it!! I saw a woman on Dr. Phil who had the surgery and now weighs more than before surgery..God is that what will happen to me?? I am scared, I really made this life decision to get healthier and now I dont know if it will really happen. I have been walking, that does feel good! I don't know..I will just see what the future the holds in store for me.

4/26/04 5 weeks post op and I am down 30lbs. Things are going ok. I have been eating good. I have only gotten sick three times, once when I ate my toast to fast and didnt chew it good enough, once when I ate some raviollis to fast and some pasta. I find that when I eat to fast is when it gives me an awful pain in my chest and I need to throw up. I am eating baked beans pretty good and soups with soft veggies and my protein shakes and I guess all is going well. I tried carbsmart ice cream bars, yum...they are pretty good considering. So all and all things are ok with me. Hope everyone else is doing well.

5/10/04 7 weeks post op and down 34lbs.

5/18/04 8 weeks post op down 38lbs I now weigh 282!! I cant believe each week I am getting further and further away from the 300's. I hated being in that number. It ment that I had truly lost control of myself and was letting my health deterioate. I am feeling good. I went from a size 32 and now I am into my 24's loosly. That is really a shock. Last week I bought a pair of 26 pants for a party and had to return them the next day because in one day they were actually too loose. Now my 24s are comfortably loose. I am still wearing 26/28 tops. I like my tops loose anyway, but I know they will not last long before I need another size. I am not sure what I should start eating now that I am into week 8. Chili and beans goes down real good. I am little sick of yogurt. Crackers work, but I dont think I will ever eat bread again!! Thats ok with me. I did have a sliver of fat free cheese cake the other night and that went down nicely!! I am eating hamburger like meatballs or meatloaf ok, havent tried any other meats yet, not sure when I should. I really want a salad!!!! Well got to run. Hope everyone else is doing great. Keep in touch. See you at next months meeting.

5/24/04 9 weeks post op down 43lbs Wt. 277.5 today. I am feeling great, but I am not drinking or hardly eating anything at all. This is not good I know. I am taking my vitamins and calcium, bu this week I getting maybe 20oz of fluids in me and 1 meal like yogurt or chile. Because I have to be particular when I am on the go about what I eat, it is just easier not to think about it. I really want to keep increasing my fluids at least and I am conscious of it, but it is hard even when I try to take a sip every few minutes I still forget. I do carry water with me everywhere I go, but doesnt always mean I get it in. That's all with me.

6/1/04 10 weeks post up down 47.5lbs Wt is 272.5 today. Well I lost 5lbs this week and didn't even realize it. It seems like some weeks the weight goes so slow and then boom a week goes by and 5lbs gone..YEAH!! I was worried that I may be losing weight to slowly for this surgery, but I guess to have lost almost 50lbs in 10w is pretty good!! I just hope it continues. I truly want to lose at least 50 more in the next 10 weeks. I feel good clothes are fitting great. I have 4 bags of size 30/32 clothes if anyone needs anything. Lots of strectchy pants. My eating is going ok. I went to 99 with my hubby the other night and had the most deliscious dinner. I had some teriyaki chicken about a half of a breast half with a little mashed potato and broccoli. I had a few bites of salad a first and a couple of crackers with cheese. It sounds like alot I know. It went down so good and I was full and I still had a full meal practically to bring home. When I went to eat the left overs for lunch yesterday I took only a few bites and felt like I had a lump in my chest I had to lay down and then I threw up it was awful. I couldnt really eat all day after that!! I dont know why I couldnt handle it the second day. I chewed small bites and stuff. Anyway...I take it slow and some days I do only eat 1 meal. I do take my flintstones and tums and at least one protein shake a day. I feel good..I go to curves at least 3x a week I hate my flabby arms with wings!! God I want those gone..I cant imagine what they will look like if I do lose the 100lbs more I have to lose!! I can say on a personal note to all my wls buddies that sex is fabulous again!! I truly thought after reaching my high weight of 329 that I would never enjoy sex again..now that I am down to the size I was when I married my husband 4 years ago..it is great again. I can't wait to see what it will be like when I am actually of normal size!! I am still a big girl by all means...well hope no one was offended by my candid talk..but what the heck..we need to learn from each other right!! Take care all.

6/7/04 11 weeks post up down 50lbs wt is 270 today. This past week has been weird on Tuesday I was up 4lbs!! Then by today I am back down the 4 plus another 2.5lbs. Sometimes I hate that the scale has so much control over me,but I can't help it I weigh myself everyday at the same time in the morning. I have thrown up alot this week. I don't know if its just because I don't know that my pouch is full or that what I eat is too heavy for me. Its weird, one day I can handle one thing and the next the same thing comes back up. I always feel better after I throw up though. I know when I need to...it is the worst feeling and you know the only releif is from getting it out. The thing is I don't throw up everything only whatever went in last so that is why I think that I just don't know when my pouch is full yet. I am learning. There truly is no way to gather all the info you need on this surgery first because everyone is unique and each situation is different. I have never dumped, I can eat pretty much what ever I want sugar free or not. I am just adjusting and feeling like my weight loss is going soooo slow!! I know its just me being anxious. Ok..bye for now. I am so looking forward to tomorrow nights meeting, it is always very educational!!!

6/14/04 12 wks p/op down 51lbs wt is 269. Slow week. I have not gotten to Curves to work out, I have not done any walking at all and I am not drinking my water!! I am awful..these are all the things I need to be doing and can't get myself moving!! This is the part of me that has made me fail so many times before at weight loss!! I wake everyday with the goal to just drink all my water and then the day goes by and I havent drank hardly anything! I dont have an appetite either so even eating three meals is hard. I have to work on this harder!!!

6/21/04 13 wks p/op wt today is 266.5 I am down about 54lbs not including 10 lbs pre op. I see Dr. A on Friday for my check up, I will update how I make out at that time. Take care all!!

6/28/04 All went well with my check up. I am right on track, although I feel sometimes like things are going so slow, but then I look at my chart and see the loss of the past 14wks and realize that I am much better off than I was 3 months ago. I do feel good. I am still getting use to foods. I throw up occasionally if it doesnt sit right. I had a salad the other night with alot of fresh greens and it made me soooo sick, I had to go to the ladies room and throw up. That was sucky, but for the most part I know right away when something isnt going to go down good or not. I was able to enjoy onion rings, shame on me!!!! I need to stay away from that stuff, but it was good!! I am enjoying fitting into clothes again that I couldnt wear for the past 4 years. When I am in a size 18 I think I will be pretty pysched then!! Ok..bye for now. Hope all is well with everyone. Keep in touch.

7/12/04 I have been throwing up alot lately. It seems nothing goes down well. Its weird cause its the same stuff that was going down good before?? Oh well...I am dealing with and feeling good. I will feel much better when I am out of the 200's.

7/24/04 I am losing my hair big time!! That is kinda freakin me out. I know I have to eat more protein. With the throwing up problems I was not really eating much at all. I am getting better at drinking my water. It is really hard for me to think about drinking and eating. I have no appetite for either so a whole day can go by before I remeber to eat or drink. That makes me nervous because I know that is just not healthy. I was able to eat yesterday and I have not thrown up. I just eat only real small amounts. I tell you though potato chips and sweets seem to go down no problem! So I know I really have to stay away from them so I dont waste space in my pouch on non nutritional foods. All and all I feel really good. Just dont want to lose anymore hair. I notice it, but no one else has yet. It comes out by the clumps in the shower. I almost hate to wash it cause I know so much is gonna come out each time. Oh well..I never expected not to pay a price to get a thinner body. I just hope its a healthy body I end up with and not just a thin sick one!! Take care all.

8/28/04 I know it has been a few weeks since I updated, not to much to report. I am managing to eat a little more and pretty much have alot of flexibility. Still no breads, but thats ok with me. That was my weakness anyway. I am feeling good! I have absolutely no clothes though! I have one pair of pants I just bought and two capri pants and thats it. I am a size 20 now!! WOOHOO, I am not complaining, but now I need to find some clothes without spending a fortune. I did sell some of my other stuff on ebay, but the kids needed back to school clothes so there went that! Oh well..the kids always come first. I did put an updated pic on. Don't know when it will post though. I can't wait to see you all at the meeting. I do miss all you wonderful ladies that have supported me and given me advice during this life change. Thank you all!!


About Me
Surgery Date
Nov 13, 2002
Member Since

Before & After
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Cheryl 2002
Cheryl 8/05

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