I have to move past this

Jan 17, 2009

January, again, a new beginning for most, for me as well if I just embrace it. As you know, 2008 really beat me up badly, my husband's abandonment, the deaths of my Gram and Dad, trying to negotiate with husband to sign divorce, a less than enthusiastic atty  who has her own agenda before that of the client, etc. Through all of this, I have used stress as an excuse to make poor food choices, I got my wake up call when I looked at 2007's Christmas picture, I had lost 75 lbs. and I felt so good about my progress and myself.  Fast forward to today, I have just passed 100 lbs. again, that means, that I have only lost 25 lbs. in the past year, I still have 45 lbs. I need to concentrate on to get to goal, and I am determined to do it.
It is time I pulled up my socks and got on with this.  I have made several changes in the past couple of weeks, I am eating less carbs, I have increased my exercise to an hour every other day and 1/2 hour on the other days, one days rest--I have managed to lose what I had gained over the holidays, darned peanut butter cookies anyway!

I am all about keeping my heart pure and my face pointed heavenward, I need to recognize each day my blessings, and that this will only work, if I can get past all the junk in my life, and in my head and get on with what I need to do to get to goal.

I plan to once again cut out soda, I know, I am so bad, they don't call it the real thing for nothing.  I have fallen back into this bad habit recently, and believe me the scale shows it.  I also found out that I had been very lax in reading labels...again..I found a pre-sweetened tea that is just wonderful, I have drank probably 12 bottles of this in the past month or so, turned the label around 170 cal. per serving--2 servings per bottle!  There is more calories in that tea than in a 44 oz. regular Coke, I was astounded.

I need to consider that I will never be perfect, I am not made to be...I am alot of things to alot of people, mother, daughter, employee, auntie, confidante, fixer, planner, rescuer and occassionally enabler just to name a few of the hats I try to juggle all of time, it is time I gave myself a break.  I need to concentrate on taking care of myself so I can continue to be all the things that are expected of me.

Hopefully, by this time next month, I will be 8 lbs. slimmer and officially Mr. Turner's ex-wife. No kidding, this hurdle has been huge to leap over, I am being kept in a holding pattern due to no actions of my own, this contributes to my frustration.

Blessings to you all, keep up the good work, coming to this venue to vent is the best possible therapy, you are all in my prayers and close to my heart.

My theme song for this journey is Kelly Clarkson's Break Away--I need to refresh that in my mind to keep me moving in the right direction.

Until next time, remember you are the child of Christ and if he is for you, who can be against you?

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