One more month....

Apr 07, 2009

It is April, one more month until my 2nd Bandiversary, it has been a year today that my beloved Gram went to be with the Lord, one year since my husband abandoned our marriage--one year since I said I would be at goal before next month....

This past year really beat me up, literally, if the outer things were not coming against me, I made double sure I was beating myself soundly on the inside for things not in my control, and other things I could control but felt helpless about.

I have been out of control for some months with my eating--eating isn't the right word really, I don't have the least bit of trouble with food, its JUNK, plain and simple, oh and soda, did I mention soda?

After all of the soul searching and praying, the negative self talk and feeling just plain pathetic, I have come down to one solution, it has to be ME--that is all, no one else can do this for me, no matter what comes against me, how busy I am or how bad I feel.

Ran into a snag with getting a fill--the estimated price is $400--unbelieveable, that is not something my budget will handle at all, so I need to reach down, dig deep and go on.

I have also modified my goal weight, I want to get to get to between 175 and 185, I had originally wanted to be 150 lbs.  I just feel number 1 the way my face is sagging I will look 150 years old and number 2, approaching my 2nd bandiversay, I feel it is just plain unattainable.

Currently I weigh 198 or 200 lbs. depending on the sodium levels in my body, by this time next month I am placing my goal at 190 lbs.

How can I fail?  I have the warmth, respect and support from everyone on this board, I have dear friends and supporters at work, and my little girl is my biggest fan!  I need to step up and step out--this is my plan.

Take Care, blessings always, keep up the good work our goals are just around the corner!

0 Comments