Great Googly Moogly its December

Dec 15, 2009

My goodness, I had not realized that it has been 6 months since I added to this blog. Time and balance has been such a challenge for me--cannot seem to have enough time to do much at all. Not sleeping well either, too much going on. Oh, did I tell you, that I have relapsed with bad food choices and slack exercise schedules that my weight has rocketed back to 220 lbs.

I had no idea the amount of stress trying to take care of a parent's needs and having them live with you would cause. Her whole way of life has rubbed off on me, my passive nature--I have never been able to stand up under her criticisms, her fault-finding and of course, being the emotional creature the good Lord made me, I have been swallowing my feelings....stuffing them down with the wrong food choices....man.

The  new man in my life does not understand my being emotional or having a day wrought with turmoil every now and then, yesterday was one of those days. We have been seeing each other since August, yesterday was the first time I asked for support and re-assurance, this got me "well let me think about it, there is just too much drama for me"....crap. Jumped on this site today to spread as much support as I could, hopefully, it will help my outlook, my lack of any self worth whatsoever.

I do have a little good news to impart, I was able to sell back some of my unused vacation time in January--I plan to buy a treadmill for my home--that way I can start jogging, recommended by my nurse pract. she said my body is so used to my walking routine, that jogging should help start me back in the right direction--that and a huge piece of tape over my mouth should do the trick.

I was able to get my girl what she wanted most for Christmas--a Wii, my Mom and I split the cost--I did a bunch of on-call hours and was able to get it and pay for my licence plates--not the swiftest idea I ever had to buy a car in December...oh well.  I scored a new Kodak EasyShare on Ebay for $35--it is the first digital I have owned...hopefully, I will be able to use it, my ex's parents want pics of our girl--the school pics were good this year, they want candids of both of us.

Well, that is about it for today, need to work on self-encouragement and self-esteem....thought I was passed all of this, guess not.

Take Care dear ones and Happy Holidays!

Blessings Always,

chris

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