Christine W.

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So I haven't written in here, or kept myself accountable for my weight.  I don't even know how much I weight.  I don't get on the scale much.  Today I went out with my husband for a fancy breakfast at Salish Lodge.  I got my coffee right when this huge plate of food is set down.  If I don't have some kind of "warm up" of my band, I can hardly eat anything in the morning.  I had a piece of bacon and two bites of the rest.  Been feeling a bit defeated by my band.  I'm sliming more than I'd like to at this point.  Shouldn't I have figured this weight loss band thing by now?  The struggle continues.

It's been about 6 months since I last posted on here.  Not a whole lot has changed, really.  My ulcer healed, I got a small fill, but I've still gained a bit more weight.  I'm about 175-180, depending on the day and my cycle.  I've just made an appointment for another fill and I'm hoping that will put me back in check with the food choices that I'm making.  Right now I can eat just about anything, given a good amount of time to eat it.  I do want to get back into all the size 10 clothes I bought (now wearing a size 14/16) before summer gets here.  I haven't been to a support group in ages, so maybe I should get back on that train too.  It seems like so long ago that I got the band.  Now I don't really think about it. 

So I should update my stats on my bio.  I currently weigh 168 without clothes, or 172 with them.   That's about 16-18 lbs. that I've gained since my lowest weight after WLS.  Since I have been persistent about figuring out what the source of my mysterious pain in my lower left side, I've had a lot of testing done.  After an upper chest endoscopy, my doctors found that I have an ulcer in my esophagus.  I'm taking Nexium now for the acid reflux.  While my esophagus heals, I had all the saline taken out of my band.  I'm starting to think that this was a mistake.  I am trying not too eat bad things, but I just find myself eating because I can.  Bread... I am kind of freaking out about the food.  MORE than that, though- I think that my side pain seems to appear after I eat a meal and it passes through me.  I want to see if I can get a fill again, because I seemed to have fewer problems with the fill than without it.  

My regular physician asked me if getting the lapband was worth all of the pain and frustration of figuring out what is causing my pain.  I told him that I thought that it was, but I still had a long way to go about accepting a new food lifestyle.  Dr. Mar has a big belly himself and he was skeptical about me getting the band to begin with.  I have to make it worth it.  I don't want to get fat again.  I just can't.  

Well, more tests have been run, but nothing much but my pant size has changed.  I now have a gastroenterologist (sp?) who did some CT scans on my chest and stomach, but found nothing.  The next step is to do an endoscopic chest/respitory test and maybe have a look at my colon.  Good times.  I still don't know if all of this pain is or isn't related to my lapband.  The frustration is just not knowing what is wrong with me.  

Also, right now I just have 1 cc of saline in my band and because of that, I don't have much restriction.  I've bounced back up to about 165 and that's nearly 15 lbs. more than my lowest weight.  I'm feeling fat again and my size 10s and 12s are too small so I'm wearing my old size 14s again and they feel tight.  Gotta stop eating so much junk and exercise more.  Any words of encouragement?  I could use some! 

Well, it's been several weeks since my last post, but not much has changed.  I'm still having pain in my side and shoulder.  I had all the saline taken out of my band for a couple of weeks and the pain persisted even when I had NO restriction eating anything.  I gained about 5-6 lbs., but I'm not going to worry too much about that.  

I found out today at Northwest Weightloss Surgery that my surgeon, Dr. Brad Watkins sold his part of the lapband practice and has quit and moved to Cincinnati.  No letter, no warning, just gone.  I'm irritated that he left so unprofessionally.  My appointment with Jessie (who's the head RN there) didn't really show anything with another barium swallow under floroscopy, so I have another appointment with Dr. Montgomery this coming Friday.  

I've also been working with my regular physician trying to figure out if the pain might be something other than the band.  He thought maybe a broken rib?  The chest x-ray results should be in today or tomorrow.  I hate the waiting.  I think what will probably happen is that I'm going to need another laproscopic surgery to fix the placement of my band and possibly remove scar tissue that has built up since it's initial placement.  Not good times.

So I now have 2 ccs in my band.  Kind of a big fill for me- no idea if I'll be too tight until I try to eat something.  I really want to get serious about losing weight again and get rid of these last 25-30 lbs. once and for all.  I'm trying to keep a positive attitude about this whole deal. 

So for the past several months, I've had some persistent, although on and off, pain in my left shoulder and midsection of my left side.  It has gotten worse so that I was feeling this sharp pain, making it hard to be comfortable in any position.  I've been trying to work with my doctors (both primary and my lap surgeon) to figure out what's going on.  Today I got a complete unfill and after my barium swallow behind the x-ray machine, they told me that my band had moved a bit from its initial placement.  I'm also going to take anti-acid medicine for the next two weeks so that any swelling or inflamation may go away.   Having said all this, my side still hurts and I've posted on the lapband board to see if anyone else has had this problem and how it was resolved.  I just want to feel normal without all these side effects...

Beyond that, I've had a hard time with my band lately.  Or maybe just the emotional parts that go along with eating for comfort and not being satisfied with tiny meals and eating too much sweet stuff.  I love ice cream and it goes down just fine.  I haven't gained any weight but I KNOW that I'm not giving my body the nutrition that it needs.  I'm going to start getting some regular therapy to work this stuff out.  I just wish that it was easier...

This past week I got a slight fill, with .25 ccs added.  My surgery center has gotten more busy, with more patients needing aftercare so I saw a new nurse named Audry.  It took her two pokes and some digging around my port to get the fill in.  Not perfect, but she seemed sorry that it did hurt a bit.  

I had gained a few pounds and was up to158, so with my fill, I've lost the weight and am now back at 152.  Some of that was probably water gain anyway, with my period.  

For the past few months, I haven't been going to the gym at all.  The weather has gotten nicer and I've been busy with work BUT I know those are just excuses.  I will get back into the habit of going... I miss the weight lifting because it's totally cool to feel buff.  I like having good arm and leg strength.  I'll go today and reward myself afterward with a nice steam.  

One other thing I'll mention since I haven't been blogging here regularly.  A few weeks ago my husband and I went on a backpacking trip to the Olympic Mountains.  I haven't been able to backpack in 7 years!  I carried all my own gear 5 miles up the trail.  We had a beautiful camp spot in the woods, had a perfect little dinner over the campfire and slept peacefully in our cozy tent.  I'm so glad that I'm physically able to do more outdoorsy stuff now.  My husband is thrilled too.  Losing weight has been a huge confidence builder for me. 

All for now.  Email me with questions or comments.  Thanks for reading!

For the last several weeks, I've only had 1 cc in my band.  I went in to get a small fill last week, so now I'm up to 1.5 ccs and I'm feeling pretty good about the amount I can eat.  I had an appointment today to check on my one year post-op progress with Esther.   I've managed to stay right at 154ish lbs. give or take a couple of pounds for more than 4 months now.  I feel like my body is pretty happy being this weight.  Initially, my goal was to get to 125-130 lbs. but I don't know if that is realistic.   I am walking like 5-6 miles a day again, so I'm hoping that the calories will burn off more.  Each day it becomes a little bit more of just eating as a part of life, to sustain oneself and less like a manic weird/must eat ice cream now sort of thing.  All for now...

So I went the other day for a consultation with Dr. Sepehr Egrari in Bellevue.  He has his own very nice office building where he performs the surgeries, though everything is done out patient.  He suggested that I get a lower body lift instead of just a tummy tuck.  This cost ten thousand dollars.  To get "the girls" lifted, we are talking about another five thousand.  Add to that some liposuction on my outer and inner thighs for just under four grand.  Then we have the cost for something called a pain pump, the OR costs (6K) and don't forget the anesthesia for another two thousand.  It added up to be $25,935. dollars.  Ouch!  It is astounding to me that after I've done all this work to get myself thinner, that to get the results I want, I either need to get totally serious about going to the gym and weight lifting or spend 26K and have some big scars after the surgery.  I also found out that it would be 2-4 weeks recovery time, with two weeks of having drains in my body.  Yipes!  I am not sure if Dr. Egrari is more expensive than other surgeons- he has a lot of experience with LBLs but I'm not sure that it is worth the cost.  I am going to try to lose more weight and get myself toned up before I get anymore surgery. 

So after my last post, I ended up getting an unfill because I was too restricted, my band too tight.  I asked Dr. Watkins *why* this seems to happen without anything causing it, but his only explanation was that the stomach was living tissue and sometimes gets irratated.  So I went from having 2.5 ccs to only 1 cc in my band.  I can eat again, which is really nice.  I can probably eat more than I should and I've been fighting my sweet tooth recently.  It all seems to balance out though, because I've been really active- with skiing (totally fun!) and running around work and at home.  I haven't been to the gym in several weeks, so I need to get back into that habit.  I miss working out- the weight lifting in particular- because I like to see some definition in my muscles now. 

I have a consultation with Dr. Egrari this coming Thursday to find out what sort of PS he thinks I could benefit from.  I'm thinking a breast lift and a tummy tuck.  No idea if I'll actually get the surgery done, I just want to find out what my options are and what the cost would be.
I'm looking forward to seeing more weight come off in the next year.  I'm pretty happy with where I am now, but if I could reach my goal weight of 130, that would be awesome.  I weighed 154 today and I've been holding steady there for a few weeks.