13 years post op ... Regain is real.

Jun 11, 2018

I am now 13 years post op - and life just keeps on happening - you have to know that, especially you who are just beginning your journey.   LIFE JUST KEEPS ON HAPPENING - head battles just keep on happening. 

In the last 6 years I have:

• 4 years ago had a now 43 year old son collapse mentally from Bi-Polar disorder - he has lived with me since and it has been a constant struggle to keep him from self-medicating in addition to his bi-polar meds
• Walked away from a marriage because of my son - I love my ex but he does not have a clue about mental illness and it's impact on a family. I am grateful that we still remain friends
• Have finally retired from 49 years of working full time but am SEMI retired as I still need supplemental income
• Have continued regain from the stresses of head battles. 

I always have to take advantage of those moments of clarity where I am in the headspace that got me to have WLS - I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired to coin a 12-step phrase - I'm not really sick - but definitely tired of living in this regain.

13 years ago 'NEVER AGAIN' was my mantra - well, wisely say never say never again because unless you control your headbattles and are EVER VIGILENT, that creeping regain is always banging at the door.

This morning I weighted 180.6.  Amazingly 3 pounds down from a week ago on my way to a 5-day conference.  Today I am cognitive of what is going in my mouth.   Another coined phrase from 12-step (which I am not personally involved in, but have family and friends who are) ....

JUST FOR TODAY.  Let's get through today.

Love and light ... 

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