CindyG_ME
Melt Down
Jun 28, 2010
Do cardiologists play golf on Mondays? I showed up today at my cardiologists at 12:15 with my paperwork in hand and ready for my 12:30 echo. The receptionists looked surprised to see me and said she didn't think I had an appointment. I flashed her my confirmation letter they sent me and she started looking through her computer. The answer. They had called my house and left a message with one of the children that my appointment had been changed to 26th. How very inconvenient since this is a required test for me and my surgery date is three weeks before the test. I totally lost it and just cried my eyes out. I don't think the receptionist understood half of what I said because I was boo hooing so bad. Lucky for me, (bless her little heart) she took pity on me and told me not to give up. She was on a mission to be sure I had that test TODAY and made my surgery date of July 7th! Yippee for her! She sent me over to one of the local hospitals and I read every magazine in the waiting room while I waited for them to squeeze me in. I would have brought cash if I thought it would have got me in sooner. But, here I am, heart in tact, valve still one flap shy of full flap(sort of like being a brick shy of a load) but pumping away. Hopefully they do get the results back to Dr. Loggins office by Friday as they promised. I liked the technician a lot. She said, "You're far more ready then most people I see here, I'm sure you're going to be a success story." I should adopt her. Tomorrow it's back down to the hospital for pre-admission testing and then over to Dr. Loggins for ...hmm...I'm not sure but I know I'm headed there. Loosing my mind. My be the lack of solid food! LOL
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Questions, Questions
Jun 23, 2010
Someone asked me yesterday how I was doing on the liquid thing. "Was I hungry at all?" Hmm...YES, OF COURSE I'M HUNGRY! I'M DRINKING 600 CAL. A DAY! I'M STARVING!
Of course we know I'm not really starving but I really wish I could have a cigarette at least. It's so much harder with out any crutch at all. I hope these two weeks go by fast. I'm busy trying to clean the house and catch up on all the back stuff before my surgery.
I have so many questions about after surgery. Will I be back to normal "right quick" as they say down south? Will I come home, sleep a day and then get back to my normal routine? Will I need any special helps that I might not have around the house? Is there anything other than the protein drinks and vitamins I should have on hand? What if I'm the 1 in 1,000 that doesn't make it. I'll die a fat person. How very sad for me. :( Can I officially change my birthday to July 7, 2010 and start my life over again? I'll do a much better job taking care of myself this time. I promise!
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Of course we know I'm not really starving but I really wish I could have a cigarette at least. It's so much harder with out any crutch at all. I hope these two weeks go by fast. I'm busy trying to clean the house and catch up on all the back stuff before my surgery.
I have so many questions about after surgery. Will I be back to normal "right quick" as they say down south? Will I come home, sleep a day and then get back to my normal routine? Will I need any special helps that I might not have around the house? Is there anything other than the protein drinks and vitamins I should have on hand? What if I'm the 1 in 1,000 that doesn't make it. I'll die a fat person. How very sad for me. :( Can I officially change my birthday to July 7, 2010 and start my life over again? I'll do a much better job taking care of myself this time. I promise!
A Surgery Date ~ ~ ~ Yikes!
Jun 16, 2010
I can't believe it! I actually have a surgery date! July 7 That's not very far away. Now I'm nervous, but looking forward to a new , healthy, happy me that can actually do the things I want to. Looking for any pre-surgery suggestions from people. Ideas anyone???
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Good Day .....Bad Day....or Just A Weird Day???
Aug 25, 2009
Ok, I had an appointment with Ashley yesterday at 1:30. I was feeling quite excited about it. I knew I had lost some weight. I've been good at keep up my exercise and food sheets and the fibro has calmed down quite a bit. Even decided to touch up my hair and get rid of those assorted grays. (one of things I've let go with the weight gain) I was feeling wonderful! Packed my bathing suit and towel...I was headed to the gym afterward and hit the road. With my top down and my newly blond roots flying though the air I was going make my appointment right on time. Then, what do I see behind me just as I approach the exit ramp! Dun dun dun! Oh yes, Mr. Policeman. So sad. I pulled over and handed over my license, registration and insurance , waited patiently for 20 minutes while he ran my plates ect. When he came back to the car he informed me that my registration was over due, waaaaaaay over due. Ummm, it was due last year. Now that's what I call over due! With a promise from to take care of it ASAP he sent me on my way. (nice guy
and even kinda cute) I arrived for my appointment at 1:55 and Ashley couldn't take me but if I wanted to come back at 4 she'd see me then. I agreed, who wouldn't if you thought you had a pound or two loss to show off? I went the gym, put my stuff in the locker and did my pool walking/running ect. When I got out of the pool my locker was jammed. Pocket book and keys inside the locker...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
After spending 10 minutes trying to pry it open with a screw driver myself, one of the guys came in for me while I guarded the doors. He managed to get it open and off I went to Dr. Loggins office and Ashley.
I lost another 3 lbs...woo hoo....which puts me 6 lbs to a good BMI for the surgery. I felt great! Ashley is so supportive and makes me feel like I CAN DO IT!
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and even kinda cute) I arrived for my appointment at 1:55 and Ashley couldn't take me but if I wanted to come back at 4 she'd see me then. I agreed, who wouldn't if you thought you had a pound or two loss to show off? I went the gym, put my stuff in the locker and did my pool walking/running ect. When I got out of the pool my locker was jammed. Pocket book and keys inside the locker...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr After spending 10 minutes trying to pry it open with a screw driver myself, one of the guys came in for me while I guarded the doors. He managed to get it open and off I went to Dr. Loggins office and Ashley. I lost another 3 lbs...woo hoo....which puts me 6 lbs to a good BMI for the surgery. I felt great! Ashley is so supportive and makes me feel like I CAN DO IT!
Woooooooooooot! At last...progress!
Aug 08, 2009
Finally, I'm making headway. With much thanks to my new PCP, Michelle Knapp (who has the patience of a saint) I started on some lasix and a short, ten day round of prednisone to stop my Fibromyalgia flare. I went to see Ashley at Dr. Loggins and low and behold...POOF....11 pounds gone. I think a lot of it was water weight on my poor swollen knees. I haven't been able to move them for months and the pain has been excruciating. I've been exercising nearly everyday now and hitting the pool 3 times a week. My calories are in line (1000), protein is there (60-80) and the fluids (48-100). Hopefully this will keep moving and before I know it I'll be having my surgery and hitting the road running! Thank you to all of those who have been encouraging me along the way. You can never have too many friends or kind words!
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Heading Into Month 7
Jul 07, 2009
I can't believe it's been nearly 7 months since I started this process. I am so disappointed in myself for not being able to lose the weight required and in Dr. Loggins, whom I can never seem to get to talk to. I've called several times but he has yet to return my call as Kim said he would. I'm now looking at other surgerons and hoping they will take all of my labs since January.
Can't believe I did it
May 12, 2009
I can't believe I actually got into a pool. I headed down to a health club today and joined in the water aerobics. The water was wonderful! 86 degrees felt fantastic to my poor fibromyalgic and arthritic body. The class was fun and something I definitely plan on keep up. I spent and hour in the class, walked the pool for 15 min then hopped on over to the hot tub for a little soaking time. I'm a bit stiff tonight but actually I am far better than I have been for the past 18 months or so.
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Ten Things I Miss
May 09, 2009
I guess if I hadn't been fat and then not so fat and then fat again, I wouldn't know what I'm missing out on. There are sooooooooo many things that I really, really miss.
1. I miss wearing my high heels. All that talk about pounds per square inch and torturing your feet I can attest to. I can't wait until I can once again torturer my feet and dang didn't they look great while they were being tortured.
2. Dancing! Lord, don't I miss dancing. Any kind of dancing at all. I always assumed it would be my broken foot or knee surgery that stopped me from dancing. Nope, it's my weight and my fibro. All this extra weight has put a huge strain on my joints. I can't wait until down enough for me to start dancing again. Tap, jazz, ballet, belly or ballroom makes no difference to me, I want to dance them all!
3. Cross my legs. Such a simple thing really. I long for the days when I could cross my legs and dangle my little ole shoe from by big toe.
4. Kayaking! One of my favorite things to do with both of my daughters. I'm not sure if the kayak would even hold me now. I do know that my balance is so far off that I'm terrified to even try getting into the kayak.
5. I miss my garden
I want to be able to get down on my knees and dig through that dirt. I want to pull up the weeds, plant my flowers and feel confident that I'll be able to get back up without hurting myself.
6. Simply hopping into my car and going for a spur of the moment road trip. I used to love to grab my camera, jump in the car and hit the road. Those days have been gone for the past few years. Between the excess weight and the fibro it seems like a chore to get anyway now days.
7. Go horseback riding with my daughter. My butt on a horse.....need I say more????
8. Leave the house and not worry about who I might run into. I hate the way that I look and the way that I feel. I'm ashamed of myself for putting on all this weight. I feel like people are looking at me and gossiping about what I look like now.
9. Shop! Oh yes! I want to shop. Shop til I drop. Shop til you drop. Shop until the whole world drops, but boy or boy do I want to shop! Hmm...not just any old shopping mind you. I want to shop anywhere I choose. I don't want to have to stay to my little "plus" size area. I want to look for something I like first instead of looking to see what will fit me first.
10. Join the human race. I feel that I have dropped out. There are just too many places and things that my weight interrupts. I want it gone. I want to be healthy. I want to be happy. I want to have choices. I want to make good choices. I want to go to the gym, the amusement park, on a plane, the pool, the mall and any other dang place I feel like going.
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1. I miss wearing my high heels. All that talk about pounds per square inch and torturing your feet I can attest to. I can't wait until I can once again torturer my feet and dang didn't they look great while they were being tortured.
2. Dancing! Lord, don't I miss dancing. Any kind of dancing at all. I always assumed it would be my broken foot or knee surgery that stopped me from dancing. Nope, it's my weight and my fibro. All this extra weight has put a huge strain on my joints. I can't wait until down enough for me to start dancing again. Tap, jazz, ballet, belly or ballroom makes no difference to me, I want to dance them all!
3. Cross my legs. Such a simple thing really. I long for the days when I could cross my legs and dangle my little ole shoe from by big toe.
4. Kayaking! One of my favorite things to do with both of my daughters. I'm not sure if the kayak would even hold me now. I do know that my balance is so far off that I'm terrified to even try getting into the kayak.
5. I miss my garden
I want to be able to get down on my knees and dig through that dirt. I want to pull up the weeds, plant my flowers and feel confident that I'll be able to get back up without hurting myself.6. Simply hopping into my car and going for a spur of the moment road trip. I used to love to grab my camera, jump in the car and hit the road. Those days have been gone for the past few years. Between the excess weight and the fibro it seems like a chore to get anyway now days.
7. Go horseback riding with my daughter. My butt on a horse.....need I say more????
8. Leave the house and not worry about who I might run into. I hate the way that I look and the way that I feel. I'm ashamed of myself for putting on all this weight. I feel like people are looking at me and gossiping about what I look like now.
9. Shop! Oh yes! I want to shop. Shop til I drop. Shop til you drop. Shop until the whole world drops, but boy or boy do I want to shop! Hmm...not just any old shopping mind you. I want to shop anywhere I choose. I don't want to have to stay to my little "plus" size area. I want to look for something I like first instead of looking to see what will fit me first.
10. Join the human race. I feel that I have dropped out. There are just too many places and things that my weight interrupts. I want it gone. I want to be healthy. I want to be happy. I want to have choices. I want to make good choices. I want to go to the gym, the amusement park, on a plane, the pool, the mall and any other dang place I feel like going.
Getting Closer!
May 07, 2009
I went to the pre-surgery info meeting last night. I had already had most of this through Dr. Loggins office, but it was nice to have a chance to hear it again as well as meeting the staff once more. I've been working with Corrine on my food intake. I was at 1200 calories but am now supposed to be down to 900. I haven't been able to to do it.
My bathing suit arrived to day as did my sweat pants so my sweetie and I will be heading down to the Health Club to walk in the heated pool. I'm still looking for other WLS patients that have fibro to get their suggestions for exercise, find out how their fibro reacted to the surgery ect.
I'm all done with my testing and will see Corrine 11 days. Hopefully I'll have made a dent in the scale and my food logs will be ok. I did learn last night that keeping the food journal AFTER the surgery is just as important. Right now I'm having no problem with meeting my protein goals. I just switched out a lot of the carbs and replaced it with protein. I ordered my Unjury Protein powders today also. I keep telling my self that every day, every thing I do is bringing me one step closer to my goal.
Frustrated
May 02, 2009
Well, here it is 3 months since I started this journey. I am so frustrated. I can't seem to get the 10% weight off that the Dr. needs to have lost. The sleep apnea thing didn't go too bad either. The clinic felt that I really didn't need the machine but the doctor's office said that I do anyway. The second study can't even be done until the end of May. I sometimes wonder if I walking down a road that never really has an end. All this is doing is making me more frustrated, angry, depressed ect. I feel like my life is passing me by, because I know it is.
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