coG627
Posted new pics
Aug 23, 2008
O my gosh- it's been 8 months since I posted!
Aug 23, 2008
I am so very thankful that I know Christ and more importantly, He knows me; what I can stand and when I need His unwavering strength to carry me through the darkest moments of my life. I will say this (this is not simply a cliche) but time does heal all wounds--especially if the attending physician is Jesus. Without Jesus being the true center of my life, the loss of my dear husband, Bill, my best friend and confidant would have killed me also. I know without a shadow of doubt the Jesus Christ has been my sustainer, my sanctifier, my shepherd and my fortifier throughout these past few months.
It's been a long and hard 9 months for me. They say the 1st year is the hardest and I learned this to be true for me. But I no longer spend days or even hours depressed and crying my heart out because I miss my Bill. Don't get me wrong, I do still cry every now and then but it only lasts for a short time.
More often than not, I remember more of the happy moments with Bill; the morning walks we used to take, quiet evenings spent at home just watching a movie, listening to some 'old school' music, dancing in the living room or sharing a joke with each other. Bill had a great sense of humor and the most wonderful, hearty laugh. All these memories make me smile, laugh and I sometimes get a little teary-eyed.
I have been attempting to journal my feelings since January. (not an easy task for me). But I do try to journal whenever my emotions start to overwhelm me. If you are going through anything like this, I highly recommend journaling. Over time, journaling helps you to purge those overwhelming feelings onto paper and it also helps you to track your progress as you heal over time. Oh you won't believe this or even see it as you are journaling. But as time passes, you must go back an read what you have journaled and watch how God will reveal to you just how much you have grown in that time. He certainly showed me how much I had grown through my grief even though I could not see it at the time.
As Vicki Yohe's song says, "You amaze me, Lord!"
I have a My Space page now: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=392892604
If you are a My Space member, drop by and send me some love
In the meantime, I will try to post some recent pics.My Current Stats
Jan 22, 2008
Goal BMI: 25.0
Current Wt:: 168-lbs
Current BMI: 28.0
Prev Wt: 174-lbs
Prev BMI: 29.0
Original Wt: 304-lbs
Original BMI: 50.6
2008--The Year of New Beginnings
Jan 21, 2008
2007, for me, was a very long night. Although I lost the love of my life here on earth, God used this situation to remind me that He is more than enough. He reminded me that He is not through with me yet. He still loves me and has a purpose for my life. Now I must prepare for the new direction in my purpose and the annointing God has planned for me. 2008 is the year of my breaking of the day; a new beginning in Christ Jesus.
I am so very thankful for the godly women and men that have continually prayed for me when all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry. Your prayers gave me strength and encouraged me. I am thankful that you all were obedient to God's call. I will keep each of you lifted in prayer and I pray that God will bless each one in deed.
*Side Note* Shortly after Bill's passing, God allowed me to see a vision of Bill. He was dressed all in white and he had the biggest grin on his face. Bill was laughing, shouting and dancing like I had never seen him do before. Bill was dancing around the throne of Christ and Jesus was sitting there smiling down on his child. The sight blessed me so that all I could do was smile and laugh with Bill.
In Appreciation...
Dec 13, 2007
So many kind words, so many words of encourgement. My family and I are so thankful to everyone who sent a kind word, said prayer, made phone call or sent flowers. Your thoughtfulness has meant so much to us as we said goodbye to a good man, husband and father.
In Appreciation...
Perhaps you sent a lovely card, Or sat quietly in a chair
Perhaps you sent a floral piece, If so we saw it there.
Perhaps you spoke the kindest words, As any friend could say.
Perhaps you were not there at all, Just thought of us that day.
Whatever you did to console our hearts,
We thank you so much, whatever the part.
May God bless each of you!
Cara (coG627)
Sad News (posted 11/30/07)
Dec 13, 2007
My darling husband, Bill, lost his battle with cancer on November 28th. He was at home with me and went peacefully in his sleep. He was able to spend time with his children and some of the grandchildren before the Lord called him home to Glory. We know that Bill is resting in the arms of Jesus now and there is no more pain or suffering for my sweetheart. My heart aches because I miss him so but I am rejoicing and praising our God for His covering of Bill and for bringing Bill home to rest at His throne.
I just want to thank everyone who prayed for us and with us and for your kind words of encouragement as my family and I were going through. Your prayers helped sustain us and we are so very appreciative. A very thanks to Negra266 for taking my calls, allowing me to cry on her shoulders anytime and for just holding sista's hand through it all. And to 'Rita who has been my IM buddy whenever I needed to chat even if only for a few moments. Thank you for always giving me a Word of truth and encouraging me.
May the Lord Our God truly bless each of you abundantly for your kindness.
Agape,
Cara (coG627)
Update on where I am right now
Nov 09, 2007
It's Nov. 9. So much has been happening with my family. My DH Bill has been in the hosp or rehab since 9/18. He was hospitalized w/pneumonia on 10/19 and spent 2 weeks there. He has pretty much recovery from the pneumonia (Praise God!) and he is currently in rehab for physical therapy to regain some muscle strength. He lost a lot of muscle strength while in the hospital. Our son, Robert flew home from Hawaii to be with us for the last 2 weeks. He had to fly back this morning. No one wanted him to leave.
Our children have been very supportive to both of us throught this entire ordeal. Each one has stepped up to the plate to help me or do whatever we needed of them usually without our even having to ask. We are so thankful and blessed to have such great kids. Let me just encourage any parents who may be going through 'issues' with their teenagers or even grown children. Just keep the your faith in Christ and stay focused on the Lord. Wait and see how God will work in your children and through them. HE IS AN AWESOME LORD!
We are hopeful that Bill will be released to come home within the next 2 weeks just in time for Thanksgiving. We certainly will be celebrating a most thankful holiday this year.
Thank you all , family and friends, for standing in the gap for us;for praying with us and for us. Your prayers have literally sustained us through it all. We thank our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ for placing such powerful prayer warriors in our lives. I will try to post again soon.
May our God Almighty bless you aboundantly!!
Too much stress! I'm eating & gaining--OMG!!!!
Sep 04, 2007
Well that is over with!!! Now that I had a wake up call, I have already started watching what I eat. I make sure I'm getting in all of my proteins and I try to do some form of exercise (still need help in this area
).Although my family is 'growing through' a hard trial right now, I will not allow this trial to become an excuse to revert to old, bad habits. The devil is a liar!!!!!!. My bible tells me that I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me (Phil 4:13). With Christ at my side, I know I will win the battle against this weight. I'll be sure to give God all the glory!!
Pressing my way through!
Sep 02, 2007
I had to write this message. I needed to get some things out of me to help me through what I must face in the coming weeks and months. I also wanted to let my OH family and friends know that I appreciate you all.
In the last few weeks, my husband, Bill and I have been facing the hardest trial of our lives. He was diagnosed with 3 forms of cancer in 2002. Over the last five years, the disease has been managed successfully with medication and no chemotherapy. Well that all changed in late July, Bill began experiencing sever pains in his back, chest and joints. No amount of pain medication he currently was on would eleviate the pain.
So we went in to have the doctor check him out. He had all kinds of tests performed. The results were that the cancer had spread into his lungs and spine. Eventhough the dr increased his pain meds, Bill now has to begin chemotherapy this Wednesday. He is in constant excrutiating pain, especially in his back. The pain meds do little to ease his pain.
It is the most difficult thing for me to watch him go through this knowing that there is nothing that I can do to help ease his discomfort. It is truly all in God's hands now. We stay in constant prayer that the Lord will give him the grace and strength he needs to get through each day. We also pray that the Lord give me more grace to withstand the extreme sadness I feel daily and to be able to stand ready to do whatever needs to be done on my husband's behalf.
There are days that all I want to do is cry, cry and cry some more. It has been very difficult to be strong, not just for him but for our children as well. None of us are ready for what we know is coming. If it were not for all the prayers of my family and friends, I know I would have lost my mind by now. Knowing that there are wonderful people out there who are praying with us and for us is what has kept my spirits high. Your prayers give me strength when I think I don't have any more. I thank you all and I praise our God for all of you. Thank you for standing in the gap for me and my family. I can not say this often enough--THANK YOU FOR ALL OF YOUR PRAYERS AND SUPPORT!!
Sis. Bunny Wilson, a dynamic woman of God, preached a sermon at our church in 2003. She has a neurological condition that causes her to have tremors and the doctors can't seem to know exactly what is wrong. During that message, she made a statement that I will never forget. She told us that she would be healed, either here on earth or when she gets to Glory. She said either way, she would be healed! God never promised us when or where we would receive our healing; He only promises that we would be healed! GLORY TO GOD!! AMEN TO THAT! I RECEIVE THAT MESSAGE IN THE WONDERFUL NAME OF JESUS!
OUR GOD WILL HEAL MY HUSBAND! I ACCEPT THAT HEALING NO MATTER WHEN OR WHERE IT TAKES PLACE. I KNOW THAT THE FATHER OF US ALL IS IN TOTAL AND COMPLETE CONTROL AND I WILL TRUST IN HIM NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS.
UpWords by Max Lucado
Sep 02, 2007
Good morning OH family!
I receive these devotionals from Crosswalk.com. I love the writings of Max Lucado. He just has a way of speaking directly to my spirit in such a clear and concise way. And it's straight out of the Word of God. I wanted to share this one with all of my friends and family.
No matter what trial or test you may be going through, no matter how difficult the trial or test may be, always remember that you are not going through it alone. Our God is always there with us, His loving arms surround us and lift us up.
Enjoy and have a God-blessed day on purpose!
Cara (coG627)
Practicing the Presence
by Max Lucado
How do I live in God's presence? How do I detect his unseen hand on my shoulder and his inaudible voice in my ear? A sheep grows familiar with the voice of the shepherd. How can you and I grow familiar with the voice of God? Here are a few ideas:
Give God your waking thoughts. Before you face the day, face the Father. Before you step out of bed, step into his presence. I have a friend who makes it a habit to roll out of his bed onto his knees and begin his day in prayer. Personally, I don't get that far. With my head still on the pillow and my eyes still closed, I offer God the first seconds of my day. The prayer is not lengthy and far from formal. Depending on how much sleep I got, it may not even be intelligible. Often it's nothing more than "Thank you for a night's rest. I belong to you today."
Give God your waiting thoughts. Spend time with him in silence. The mature married couple has learned the treasure of shared silence; they don't need to fill the air with constant chatter. Just being together is sufficient. Try being silent with God. "Be still, and know that I am God" (Ps. 46:10 niv). Awareness of God is a fruit of stillness before God.
Give God your whispering thoughts. Through the centuries Christians have learned the value of brief sentence prayers, prayers that can be whispered anywhere, in any setting.
Imagine considering every moment as a potential time of communion with God. By giving God your whispering thoughts, the common becomes uncommon. Simple phrases such as "Thank you, Father," "Be sovereign in this hour, O Lord," "You are my resting place, Jesus" can turn a commute into a pilgrimage. You needn't leave your office or kneel in your kitchen. Just pray where you are. Let the kitchen become a cathedral or the classroom a chapel. Give God your whispering thoughts.
And last, give God your waning thoughts. At the end of the day, let your mind settle on him. Conclude the day as you began it: talking to God. Thank him for the good parts. Question him about the hard parts. Seek his mercy. Seek his strength. And as you close your eyes, take assurance in the promise: "He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep" (Ps. 121:4 niv). If you fall asleep as you pray, don't worry. What better place to doze off than in the arms of your Father.
From Just Like Jesus
Copyright (W Publishing Group, 1998, 2001) Max Lucado
About Me
Before & After
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