Crickett_1
OKLAHOMA, Where are you?
Dec 24, 2015
I have not been on this forum in five years and 4 months. I am 8 years post op. Have done fairly well, but have gained about 30 pounds. I know I still have a tool that works and I can whip this. When I was on here around 2007-2009 this board was booming. What happened? Let's get it to moving again. It takes support sometimes to get us through the ruts.
Still Slacking
Jul 28, 2010
Hey OH, well so much for the relationship. All it did was remind me of why I hadn't had one in 16 years.It ended a couple of months ago just simply because it wasn't meant to be.It's time for me to stand back up and get back to reality. Know one is going to take care of me but me. Moral of the story is to never allow someone to be your priority when you are only their option.So, I continue to search for that one man to prove to me that they are all not the same. The carbs are going to have to go. Anyone want to give me a pep talk please feel free.
0 comments
Slacker
Mar 15, 2010
Yes, I am sorry to say that I have been a slacker on here as well as on some other areas. So much has transpired since my WLS in Dec 2007.God is good all the time and all the time God is good. Those of you who have followed me or know my journey pretty much kept up with me. 2010 has been a blessed year. I am in a relationship now for the very first time since my divorce in 1994. I met Rick on Facebook in Dec 09. We went to school together but hadn't seen each other in 40 years. He was going through an unexpected health crisis and I offered my support and encouragement and the rest is history. It really is an awesome story. and only God knows how it will proceed. However that is, thy will be done.
The head hunger will always be a challenge for me. I am so thankful to have had this opportunity for WLS. I am not at goal but only because of my own side tracks. God willing I will get there. Hope everyone here on OH is doing well. I know that we will always have our good days and bad days. I am so thankful for both. I continue to miss my parents very much but know that they are with me and will forever be. Hugs.
0 comments
The head hunger will always be a challenge for me. I am so thankful to have had this opportunity for WLS. I am not at goal but only because of my own side tracks. God willing I will get there. Hope everyone here on OH is doing well. I know that we will always have our good days and bad days. I am so thankful for both. I continue to miss my parents very much but know that they are with me and will forever be. Hugs.
Not a failure but has been a tough one year
Jan 08, 2010
December 12th was my two year surgiversary. The first year after WLS was awesome. I had no problems related to the surgery. I followed all the rules and lost 135 pounds.On top of the world and feeling great. But.......(there is always that but in there)I lost both of my parents seven weeks apart at about my one year anniversary mark. Those of you that have followed me know how very difficult this has been for me.
I started reverting back to old habits. Mainly eating for comfort. At first it was a little bit here and a little bit there. I watched it pretty close for the next 6 months. In June of 2009 I started having major deppresive episodes and really started abusing carbohydrates in the form of lots of sugar and snack items. Stopped eating my protein first and so on and so on....You get the picture. I have always been the type of person that once I introduce the bad carbs back into my system I have a heck of a time stopping them. I relate myself equal to what happens to an alcoholic once they have that first drink. There is no turning back.
I have now surpassed the first anniversary of my parents death. I have endured many first without them. By that I mean their fist birthdays, the first Easter, Mother's Day, Father's Day, My Birthday, 4th of July, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas, their wedding anniversary, and numerous others.
Okay drum roll..........damage done.......... A gain of 24 pounds.
I am down about it because I wasted a whole year, but I know I am not a failure. I know it's time to pick myself up, before more damage is done. To this date I have not broken all the rules. I still have not had rice, pasta, or carbonation. I am strongly adament about not having these things because in my mind I know if I do, then that means I have broken all the rules and therefor I would consider myself a failure.
If only I would have not had that first bite of unforbidden carbs I would be at goal or below by now. I ask myself, if you are stong enough to refrain form rice, pasta and carbonation, then why are you not strong enough to just say no to the other items? My only conclusion is "because I have allready tried them" The mind is a funny thing, because having WLS didn't change my mind and bad habits. It would be so awesome if it did.
To make a longer story shorter I know what I need to do. I have the tool I need and it still works. It has come the time for no more excuses. I still miss my parents and I know I will for a very long time. I also know that they would not have wanted me to self sabotage my self the way I have since their deaths. My Dad was so very proud of me for what I had done. Unfortunately my Mother wasn't in the right frame of mind to know that I had finally done what she had been encouraging me to do for so long. She was actually my motivation to have WLS. After watching her for numerous years suffering from being a diabetic, and her problems with coronary heart disease, as well as having her leg amputated, I came to realize that I did not want my children and grandchildren to have to endure with me what I had witnessed with what were my Mother's final years.
I know that the rest of my life will be a constant battle with food addiction. However, I have not given up. My God is an awesome God, and I know that only by his grace I will not become a failure. He is my friend and picks me up when I am down. I believe what I believe and that makes me what I am. I would like to ask that whomever reads this, please take time to say a little prayer for my strength as well as yours.
0 comments
I started reverting back to old habits. Mainly eating for comfort. At first it was a little bit here and a little bit there. I watched it pretty close for the next 6 months. In June of 2009 I started having major deppresive episodes and really started abusing carbohydrates in the form of lots of sugar and snack items. Stopped eating my protein first and so on and so on....You get the picture. I have always been the type of person that once I introduce the bad carbs back into my system I have a heck of a time stopping them. I relate myself equal to what happens to an alcoholic once they have that first drink. There is no turning back.
I have now surpassed the first anniversary of my parents death. I have endured many first without them. By that I mean their fist birthdays, the first Easter, Mother's Day, Father's Day, My Birthday, 4th of July, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas, their wedding anniversary, and numerous others.
Okay drum roll..........damage done.......... A gain of 24 pounds.
I am down about it because I wasted a whole year, but I know I am not a failure. I know it's time to pick myself up, before more damage is done. To this date I have not broken all the rules. I still have not had rice, pasta, or carbonation. I am strongly adament about not having these things because in my mind I know if I do, then that means I have broken all the rules and therefor I would consider myself a failure.
If only I would have not had that first bite of unforbidden carbs I would be at goal or below by now. I ask myself, if you are stong enough to refrain form rice, pasta and carbonation, then why are you not strong enough to just say no to the other items? My only conclusion is "because I have allready tried them" The mind is a funny thing, because having WLS didn't change my mind and bad habits. It would be so awesome if it did.
To make a longer story shorter I know what I need to do. I have the tool I need and it still works. It has come the time for no more excuses. I still miss my parents and I know I will for a very long time. I also know that they would not have wanted me to self sabotage my self the way I have since their deaths. My Dad was so very proud of me for what I had done. Unfortunately my Mother wasn't in the right frame of mind to know that I had finally done what she had been encouraging me to do for so long. She was actually my motivation to have WLS. After watching her for numerous years suffering from being a diabetic, and her problems with coronary heart disease, as well as having her leg amputated, I came to realize that I did not want my children and grandchildren to have to endure with me what I had witnessed with what were my Mother's final years.
I know that the rest of my life will be a constant battle with food addiction. However, I have not given up. My God is an awesome God, and I know that only by his grace I will not become a failure. He is my friend and picks me up when I am down. I believe what I believe and that makes me what I am. I would like to ask that whomever reads this, please take time to say a little prayer for my strength as well as yours.
One year in Heaven
Nov 06, 2009
Mom, It's so hard to believe that you have been gone 1 year today. The time has gone so quickly. I continue to miss you as much as I did when you left. Ironically we are having an estate sale this weekend. Ann , Steve and I have spent countless hours going through yours and Dads things that you accumlated in your 62 years of togetherness. So many memories of good times as well as some sad times. It is very difficult letting go of your possessions. Especially when I know you would have a fit because you never wanted to get rid of anything. You kept every card that you ever got. Every napkin from every wedding and baby shower, These things are what made them you. I have kept things that were very near and dear to me. Also the grand kids and great grandkids have things of yours and Dads, that they liked.
Daddy, cleaning out your garage was the most difficult process. Good Lord, you had every tool and screw and nut and bolt that was every made. The most precious treasures were the hand made stuff that you would come up with to make. Although you only had a fifth grade education, your creations showed me what a very smart man you were. Ann and Steve have had many conversations with you over the last 6 weeks. They are the ones that have taken on the challenge of getting ready for the estate sale. I just couldn't do it so much Mom and Dad. You see I only knew how to take care of you while you were living. I tried to make your last years as enjoyable as they could be and tried to cater to your every wish and need. Watching you guys decline over your last couple of years took alot out of me, yet to this day I treasure every moment that I spent with you.
I shall always hold dear all the times I got to crawl in bed with you and just hold and comfort you. I am happy to have had the opportunity to make decisions for you that you could no longer make. I am so blessed that I got to hold you Mom as your passed to that beautiful place called Heaven. I am so blessed to have gone with you in the hearst and held you to your destination to the funeral home. Your were absolutely radiant and beautiful the first time I viewed your body. All the pain. and suffering had left your body and I knew you were finally at peace.
Daddy, I am so blessed that you spent your last days in my home enjoying all the beautiful christmas decorations. I know that you fought a horrible fight your last ten days. I am so so sorry that I wasn't with you when you passed, but I think that you purposefully waited until you were alone. I know without a shadow of a doubt that you knew we were right there with you and that you were loved. That was evident by the tears in your eyes .Even though you couldn't open them, I know you knew we were there by the grip of your hands and the nod of your head.
Mom, I know you have had a wonderful first year in heaven, and it just got better for you when Daddy joined you. Know I love you, and until I can see you again, please continue to watch over my family and I. Hugs and kisses to the most wonderful Mother on earth and in heaven.
0 comments
Daddy, cleaning out your garage was the most difficult process. Good Lord, you had every tool and screw and nut and bolt that was every made. The most precious treasures were the hand made stuff that you would come up with to make. Although you only had a fifth grade education, your creations showed me what a very smart man you were. Ann and Steve have had many conversations with you over the last 6 weeks. They are the ones that have taken on the challenge of getting ready for the estate sale. I just couldn't do it so much Mom and Dad. You see I only knew how to take care of you while you were living. I tried to make your last years as enjoyable as they could be and tried to cater to your every wish and need. Watching you guys decline over your last couple of years took alot out of me, yet to this day I treasure every moment that I spent with you.
I shall always hold dear all the times I got to crawl in bed with you and just hold and comfort you. I am happy to have had the opportunity to make decisions for you that you could no longer make. I am so blessed that I got to hold you Mom as your passed to that beautiful place called Heaven. I am so blessed to have gone with you in the hearst and held you to your destination to the funeral home. Your were absolutely radiant and beautiful the first time I viewed your body. All the pain. and suffering had left your body and I knew you were finally at peace.
Daddy, I am so blessed that you spent your last days in my home enjoying all the beautiful christmas decorations. I know that you fought a horrible fight your last ten days. I am so so sorry that I wasn't with you when you passed, but I think that you purposefully waited until you were alone. I know without a shadow of a doubt that you knew we were right there with you and that you were loved. That was evident by the tears in your eyes .Even though you couldn't open them, I know you knew we were there by the grip of your hands and the nod of your head.
Mom, I know you have had a wonderful first year in heaven, and it just got better for you when Daddy joined you. Know I love you, and until I can see you again, please continue to watch over my family and I. Hugs and kisses to the most wonderful Mother on earth and in heaven.
My first Birthday without my parents
Jun 04, 2009
Today I celebrate my first birthday without my parents. I believe they are here with me today because the bonds of love do not die. I dedicate this song by Josh Groban to them. Thanks for giving me life Mom and Dad. I love you. Miss you.
TO WHERE YOU ARE
Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memory's so clear
Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be (?)
That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above
Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are
Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen
As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
'Cause you are my
Forever love
Watching me from up above
And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave
Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are
I know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are
2 comments
TO WHERE YOU ARE
Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memory's so clear
Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be (?)
That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above
Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are
Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen
As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
'Cause you are my
Forever love
Watching me from up above
And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave
Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are
I know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are
Parasailing over Virginia Beach
May 25, 2009
I did something today that I never thought I would do or be able to do for that matter. I would have never considered this 135 pounds ago. It was so awesome, and I was so at peace with it. I wasn't scared at all. After this I climbed to the top of a huge lighthouse. OMG 2 major things and in one day. How cool is that?
1 comment
MOTHERS DAY IN HEAVEN
May 08, 2009
Mother's Day In Heaven
(Dedicated to my Mom -
I miss you, and look forward to seeing you again!)
It’s your first Mother’s Day in Heaven –
I'm so thankful that you're not alone;
As you behold the face of our Saviour,
And are blessed to worship at His throne.
Mom, I would love to send you flowers,
Though their fading glory could not compare
To the beautiful sights and sounds of Heaven,
And your very own mansion over there.
I never thought so much about Heaven,
As I have since you’ve gone home to that place –
Oh Mom, I miss you so very much,
And I long to see your precious face.
You see, this earthly home now seems more empty –
Its glitter and glamour can no more impress;
For Heaven is the place of God’s truest riches –
Where our Father only keeps the best!
Since you turned and trusted in the Saviour,
An amazing change has taken place;
Dwelling in the presence of Jesus now,
In Heaven - only because of His grace.
It’s your first Mother’s Day in Heaven –
With everlasting joy and peace up there.
Oh Mom, I miss you so much now,
But I know our reunion will be beyond compare.
This poem was written by a man named Jerry for his Mother. Special thanks for allowing me to share with my Mother.
I love you and miss you Mom. You were the best Mom in the whole world. I can't wait to see you again. Hugs and Kisses. I love you, Rita
The Climb
Apr 15, 2009
I have lost zero pounds since December. I have had a difficult time with the loss of both of my parents at the end of last year. While I miss them terribly, it is time to stand up and dust myself off and get on with my journey. Nothing sums up the way I feel better than this song. It's time I continue to CLIMB...........
The Climb
I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"
Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking
But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb
The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most.
Just gotta keep going
And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on
'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb.
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb
Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith,
It's all about, it's all about the climb
0 comments
The Climb
I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"
Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking
But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb
The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most.
Just gotta keep going
And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on
'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb.
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb
Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith,
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Reflections of Easter 2009
Apr 15, 2009
 |
Mom and Dad, Well this was our first Easter without you here. It was certainly different. It rained all day long. That made it all the more dreary. I know that your first Easter in heaven with the boys had to be just awesome. We missed you. I didn't make it to the cemetary because of all the rain , but I will be down there this weekend to put new beautiful lilies in you vases. Daddy, even though I should not have, I had a piece of cake for you. Dessert was always your favorite part of any holiday. That and spending time with your family. You loved your dessert, that is for sure. Mom, I have especially missed you terribly these last couple of weeks. I had a procedure done that required just a little bit of down time. As always, I wanted my Mother. I miss you taking care of me. I also wanted your famous chicken and dumplings that I always want when I'm not feeling well. Even though I am getting older these feelings will never change.(And I am getting older). I will always want my Mamma and Daddy. I continue to dream about you guys but they are never good dreams. I pray that soon I will start having good dreams. I continue to hold onto all the good memories that we had together. These help the most in the darkest of hours. I love you a bushel and a peck , and here's a great big hug around the neck. Here are pics of the great grandbabies, they miss you as well. Thank you for constanly watching over us. I feel your presence. Michaelie and Kadence with their Easter Bunnies 
Your little man, GARRETT 
Your oldest baby girl. I love you whole big bunches, Rita 
|
About Me
Oklahoma City, OK
Location
27.8
BMI
Surgery
12/12/2007
Surgery Date
Dec 15, 2007
Member Since
