I found this website about a week ago while doing research about lap band and gastric bypass surgeries. I was deeply touched by everyone's stories. I couldn't believe how many people I could relate to. It made me feel like I wasn't alone for the first time in a long while. So I thought this would be a good place to start my journey too. For the second time in five years, my PCP suggested that I consider surgery for weight loss reduction. I've been overweight for so long that I can't even remember when it all began. Probably about 15 years ago or so. Right now I'm 30 years old with a BMI over 40. I remember every birthday saying that by the next one, I'll weight less than this year. That this year will be my year for me to make a permanent change and on and on and on. I have tried so many ways as have so many on this site. I'm encouraged and grateful to read everyone's experiences. I hope it will this will help me with my decision in which direction to go next. I also hope that I can be a support in any way possible. I'm scared because there doesn't seem one good choice over any other. They're all frustratingly disheartening to me right now. Hopefully I'll be able to make the right choice and get myself to a healthier and happier place. I see how being at a lower weight will not make my life perfect. I enjoy the life I lead right now but now as much as I could. I have a consistant feeling of frustration and dread with upcoming events. I feel miserable when I think of getting ready for another family event, social occassion or trip the size I am now. I have spent so much money and wasted hope and time on gadgets, diets and pills which are jips. I don't want to fall prey to those tricks anymore. I want to regain my own power, even if it means taking a huge risk because otherwise, who knows what will happen? I don't want to give in and accept defeat by my own body when there's a chance to fix it. I understand the immense responsibility that come along post-surgery too. Even though it may be difficult and painful, at least I'll be helped along for the first time and not fight an uphill battle on my own. My wonderful friends and family are a source of love and strength in my life but this area is something that not many people in my life understand. That's why I'm so glad to be here.