CrrrlyGirl
Here we go again!
May 04, 2011
Why do I feel like I'm having a deja vu??? Probably because I am!Long story short.....three years ago this February I had Lap-Band surgery. All went well until I had to actually live with it. Then it was nothing but misery. Day in. Day out. Having to stand to eat ALL of my meals because the food was constantly getting stuck in my esophagus, usually vomiting whenever it did, constant discomfort, never being able to take pleasure in even the smallest of meals. Eating out? Yeah right! After years of this nonsense the doctor and I decided that it just wasn't a good "fit" for me or my physiology and that it had to come out. So, out it came, along with my gallbladder (as it had also been a problem). See ya! Don't let the door hit you in the ass! Whew! What a relief! Or at least it was until I regained what little weight I had lost back again. Well hello size 22-24! Nice to see you again. I've missed you so! Good times, good times.
So, now what???? I'm still fat, miserable and unhealthy! Is bypass surgery even an option for me at this point? Do I even want to bother? Would the doctor even consider it after all of my complaining? Would my insurance company laugh in my face? Well, luckily Dr. WIlliams is an understanding and extraordinarily patient man, and after several months of appeals and general pestilence (and lots of help from two lovely women at the insurance company)....YES!
So here I am, 6 days out from my "revision" surgery. I've been maintaining a 1000-1200 calorie diet for the last week in preparation for the procedure, and it's a bloody miracle that I've been able to do so! Every moment has been a struggle between plain old hunger, addiction and my desperate search for self-control. Let's face it - most people having bariatric surgery are in fact, addicts. That's the part that terrifies me the most. Will I be able to change my mind in accordance with my changing body? How will I mourn the loss of my best "friend"? What do I replace it with? These are the things that keep awake at night. This is why I have come here looking for support. As much support as I can get, in addition to that of my family and a few carefully chosen friends.
"This time it will be different." My favorite phrase. Seems like I've been saying that for most of my life. But now, I think it actually may be true. I think I'm in a different place now than before my last surgery. I'm in this for me. I'm in this for my health. I'm in this for my life. I'm tired of being sick and tired. I want to live my life. As Mame Denis always said......"Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!" Truer words have never been spoken!
So here I go. Head first into this new journey. May 10, 2011. They day my new life begins. Wish me luck.
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About Me
Philadelphia, PA
Location
40.2
BMI
Surgery
05/10/2011
Surgery Date
Apr 24, 2011
Member Since
