CruiseGirl

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4.5.09

life is good.  lets start with i'm down 88 pounds and it really has been relatively easy.  i've had not one complication (knocking on wood) and not that this good i don't exercise.  i've yet to get my appetite back. i have pretty much the same routine, up at 8:30, my chai tea, a protein breakfast (usually greek yogurt with fruit) at 11:30, some high protein for lunch around 2:30 dinner around 6 ish and then a gold fish while i read in bed. now some where in there i'll also have  carb type snack. oh and dinner with be a chicken breast with a few veggies (same for lunch). my diabetes is GONE!!!!! no meds no nothing... the only thing that i still deal with is migraines, but you know what, that is just fine.

my brain still hasn't caught up with my size, i'm somewhere between a 10 and 12 pant, tops are small medium.  i don't have any spring clothes, i just tried on some great jjill skirts that i had from last year (large) they aren't going to work, darn it...i really like these. oh well.  but when it comes to me realizing that i'm a lot smaller i'm still not there yet. and when i see people who haven't seen me for awhile i totally forget and they are shocked when they see me and i forget why. but again, if that is the worse that there is....

i want to start walking again but i just haven't made it a priority...oh the ALWAYS cold thing is my biggest complaint about the whole thing. i just can't get warm and this winter was a bad one. i'm seriously realizing that if this is a forever thing i'm going to have to move to a warmer climate one day. i find the cold actually painful.

i'm not on the boards at all. i find that kind of sad, i loved these boards, but i couldn't find the time and then with being gone for so long i feel i don't know the people anymore.  but it is a great place and got me through roughest time. i'm very grateful.

my daughter took some new pictures of me, i'll try to update my profile

robin

thought i shoujld do a bit of an update
lets just start i feel amazing!!!! i'm down 59 pounds!  this was always the plan but for it to actually happen is another thing. now i have to tell you. my newest saying to non surgery people is "this is the easiest part, once i get to my goal and i have to maintain, that is the hard part" i'm wanting people to know that my weight loss journey is not even close to done or no where near easy.  

i don't want to jinx this feeling my i'm really enjoying my dailey walking.  i started with a bunch of women a few months ago. i've always read that you should excersise with others, but i've always fought against that, not wanting to feel the pressure, but it is true.  we meet at 9:15 and who eve shows up walks, it's a 3 mile walk, i've pretty much walked everyday, and i started in early may.  today i even walked twice! once in the am and then in the pm (im in chicago).  and this past week i noticed the two days that i didn't walk i actually felt sluggish all day.  i didn't lose any weight for months and once i started walking i finally started losing weight again....yippy!!!!

my pouch has seemed to go a bit backwards a bit, i can't seem to hold as much food, a bit less than a cup. i can't tolorate "bad" foods like i use to.  it all started about a few weeks ago and then really hit when i over drank at my daughters graduation party (a whole other story...smile) and really i didn't overdrink, i also can't handle alchol anymore....i've read about how things can change and low and be hold that is what happened to me.  

jenny b had surgery yesterday, how exciting.  she had it very late in the day, way too late, too much time to think, that must of been hard.

45 more pounds to go

may 4 ,2008

wow, i can't believe i haven't written in months...lets see
i'm down 50 pounds i'm a real slow and steady loser, there have been weeks that i haven't lost a pound, i weigh in ever monday...well except for this past week when i couldn't wait another day and i weighed on wed and has lost 2 pounds since monday. but anyways...i did join the y this friday, i've lost all my weight with absolutetly no exercise, and i had promised myself that when i really stopped losing i would start execerising...well i think my losing streak is coming to an end so back to the gym.  my goal is to go this week at least three times, it is going to be hard to find the time for this but i'll do my best.  
i feel GREAT! and i'm looking pretty darn good, for me, i have 40 to 50 more pounds to lose but at 204 i'm looking almost normal, now mind you, i look normal compared to what i use to look like. but i am getting noticed by the men these days, been awhile since that happened.  
stress has been high in my home, my daughter chosing her college, after prom planning, work, my kids big concert, both kids bday, and my husband's bday, and many volunteer activities, actually too many activities.....
but i'm happy and having fun losing the weight and putting new/old sized clothes on.

well it's 13 weeks today.  i'm down 35 pounds and 29 inches, but those stats are from two weeks ago, i was in chicago this past monday so i couldn't weigh myself.  so i'm hoping to be at 40 pounds by tomorrow. fingers crossed.  i'm slow and steady and yes i would of liked to have lost a big amount a few times, but i haven't, so i'll have to happy with this. now granted i haven't excerised a lick! my thoughts on that are...when i stop losing the weight i'll start excersing.  enough on that subject.

so going back to work sucked, can't remember if i've written about this yet?  but what has been very nice is that i don't need as much sleep as i use to, i could gone another week without work but really by the second week at work i really only needed 8-9 hours of sleep, which is where i was before surgery.

but i tell ya, i sure liked having all the time on my hands, doing whatever i wanted.  oh well....

i'm still able to eat anything, no dumping or feeling like crap.  too bad, just have to use the old will power. but at this time of my journey i really don't want yucky food (except lays potatoe chips).  i'm a carb girl though, i could eat carbs all day (well i think i could, haven't tried!)  my pouch just LOVES the feel of carbs.  my favorite meal is still, tortilla chips, refred beans, shredded cheese, sour cream and salsa.  yummy yummy yummy

my stomach is starting to look like some old ladie, it's not a pretty sight.  man, i really never thought about having plastics, but with what i still have to lose, my tummy is going to be UGLY!!!!!!!!!! my upper legs will be no better. i'm not sure i'll ever be able to wear shorts or a bathing suit, with the way my legs are going to be.

i'm very inbetween sizes right now, proabably need size 18 pants, but i only have my 20/22's and then 14's.  my tops are getting pretty lose, but are still very wearable (only wearing sweaters these days).  i need pants, should probably breakdown and do a bit of shopping.

well the weekend has come to an end.  

robin

boy it's been awhile since i've posted here. lets see what i can remember!

well i'm down 29 pounds and 25 inches. of course i wish i was down more pounds but the inches is just wonderful!!!!

i really can eat anything and unfortunetly know that.  so my journey will be a bit challenging in that nothing, so far, and i've tried some VERY bad things, makes me dump.  with high fat, like chips, i do get a slight stomach ache. and i've had the runs, but nothing like a full on set dump.  

i started back to work last week, monday i worked at home, and it really sucked, but tuesday i went to chicago and it turned out very enjoyable, crazy busy, but it was really nice to be with my co-workers.  a big storm came in on thursday so i stayed an until friday, and boy that was great, i got so much more done with that extra day.  

courtney seemed to want me home and was a bit sad that i wasn't, it's funny, she is never home but wants me home...i guess being home for those nine weeks she got use to it.  but i want to remind her that she is never home and mom has a life, but of course i can't say that to her.

with another fellow ohioan we put together a luncheon get to gether with other ohers in the cleve/akron/canton area, five of us showed up, a great bunch of women who are all at different points of the wls journey.  we hope to make this a monthly thing.

i'm still only weighing on mondays, so i REALLY want to be down AT LEAST 30 pounds....i know i'm wrong in doing this, but i do compare my loss to others who had the surgery around the same time...so many of them have so surpassed me, and i realize everyone is different and others may have more to lose than me, but i still would love to see those big numbers. patience isn't one of my strong suit.

my husband is taking my daughter on another college visit, while that is just wonderful they are also leaving on feb 14, so that means no VD special dinner for us, while mark is a very loving and caring person, and a fantastic husband, and unbelievable dad, he just doesn't get this standard romance things, he finds them commerical and blah, and while he might be right, i'm still bummed and hurt that he didn't even think it would be an issue with me. i'm thinking of finding a single girl friend and her and i going out for a fun dinner.

excerise, not happening here. and i'm not sure when it will happen.  i'm going with, when i'm no longer losing the weight.  i hate taking the time to execerise, i don't mind doing it or being there, but to get there about kills me.  so like i said, not happening anytime soon.

well that's it for my update.

loving my RNY!!!!

things are going very well.  at times i really do wonder if i had surgery, and then i try to eat more than a cup of food and then i feel that things have changed.
my biggest issue seems to be eating too fast. the food then gets catch in my chest, and it doesn't stop hurting until i do a bit of burping.  i just need to SLOW down.  i did get a nice pair of chop sticks for  xmas (an idea from my nut/doc) they should surely slow me down!!!!
i lost approx. five inches (two at my waist) and 18 pounds. i do wish that i would of had the big poundage loss in the first two weeks, but i didn't get that luck. but i'm slow and steady and for that i need to be grateful.
christmas dinner went ok, i had a bit of turkey which i put gravey on (never ate gravey before) and it went down well, also ate white and sweet potatoes and bit of cranberry relish.  and then i got crazy and had a small piece of a sugar cookie. all went down well and i felt fine afterwards. i'm having a small suspicion that i might be one that doesn't dump.  i hope that that isn't true.  so i had only a small bit of saddness at dinner, i missed stuffing myself and not worrying about the butter, sugar and carbs. i also missed not having a yummy soft roll with butter. OH i did take a small piece of peach pie and ate only the peach out of it (full of sugar) but really it wasn't all that.
i am happy and really overjoyed that i had the surgery, it is good to me and for me.

12.3.07

well it's been a week.  all in all i'm doing ok.  the hardest thing right now is getting all the 56 fluids in...man is that hard. it's 6pm and i'm around 40oz.

i'm also pretty dizzy, which is the only word that i can come up with on how i feel.  two days ago i drink caffeine tea, this is too much caf. for me, i didn't sleep well that night or the next day. last night and today i believe i slept better, but i 'm still feeling dizzy lightheaded. i mentioned this to my mom and she is wondering if my blood pressure is low. i do take altace, which is a bp med, but i take if for me diabetes and it helps the kidneys, so maybe she is right. tomorrow she is going to bring over her bp machine and we will see what mine is. interesting.

i'm down 7 pounds, glad to see me going in the right direction.

i have to honest, i can't imagine 22 more days of this liquid type diet, what i would do for a bite of an apple with peanut butter on it.  oh well this is what i signed up for.

this will be a long post, i'll try to tell my surgery story

11.26.07 got there at 6am, with husband, mom, daughter and son. pretty much swept away as soon as we got there, it sucked that they took my glasses right away, i'm so darn blind. laid in the pre-surgery room for a bit. my drug doctor (anal sp???) came in, he is a good friend of ours and is such a wonderful person, he loves his job. there were a few of us in this room (all types of surgeries) and he went around talkking to everyone and making jokes.  he came over to me and said, here, let me give you something to make you a bit happy..i thank god for him! he then went out and talk to my family, he is especially close to my daughter, she and his daughter have been best friends since they were in 2nd grade (now 12th) so this was very helpful for her, in that sat night she had a complete breakdown and wrote me a letter saying how scared and mad she was that i was doing this to my body, had i really done all the research etc...and she had mentioned that she wanted to talk to bob (the drug doc) so again he does me a big favor without even knowing it!  

so now i'm really raced off to the operating room, now talk about precision! they were all doing their thing, i must not of been in there more than 3 min. and i was out. now had they given me more time i really think i would of shouted...STOP, i'm kidding i don't want this surgery!   REALLY i about flipped out.

i woke up hours later, i hear i went in a 7:30am and my husband was calling people that i was out at 11:30.  i was so dammed confused when i woke up, it was like nothing had really happened.  man those drugs are good.

so that day i really just slept the whole time, a real waste for people to be sitting there in your room, and i had a room full, the above mention and then my best friend corie.  little by little they left, mark stayed until 7:45pm. pain was not bad, but i believe nausea was there.

11.27.07
nausea nausea nausea that is all i felt.  they took my off my mephorine drip (which can cause nausea) and put me on roxicet which has a nice thick coating and i sipped it.  my opinion is that the coating is what took the nausea away not the drug taking the pain away which could cause the nausea (according to my doc). i've always had stomach issues, and protein has always been the way i would settle my stomach.  so here i am with the nausea and really thinking that this is the way my life was going to be for the rest of my life. that i had had this surgery without giving full thought of this issue, i really second guessed my decision and thought i should of had the lap band, in that it the nausea continued at least i could open the band totallly up and hoping eliviate the nausea.  i was so down i cannot even explain it fully to you. the nurse were generally concerned and so was my doc. but they kept assuring me that this would go away and i hadn't failed in the least.

note, the hospital didn't even come close to feeding me (or anyone) the needed protein/cal per our plan. and meals came very late, on 28 my lunch didn't come until 2pm! and remember my nausea is killing me! corie and i were one day away from her getting me food from home

oh yeh, the liquid that i had to drink to do the upper gi was the pits! really couldn't of been worse. hear we haven't eaten since sat night and the first thing we get is this bitter bitter bitter tasting crap, the three of us (surgery patience) were all complaining with the technican on why this stuff couldn't taste better. and yes there were operations on monday two lap bypass and lap band.  grace and i (other bypass) came pretty darn close in that short time, difinetly a bonding experience, you spend a lot of time walking the halls together and visiting in each others rooms.

11.28.07
nausea is still there, not happy. cannot take in anything the nurse is talking about in regards to the my next ten days of care.  she felt bad for me and was wondering if i should stay another day.  i've decided that protein is a must and i need to get home to my food and better meal timing.

drainage tube is taken out, my oh my is that a strange feeling, doesn't hurt but really really weird!!!!!  oh also sometime i've learned that i didn't have a hernia to be fixed, that the area around my belly botton wasnt a hernia, that my body was just made that way and that there was nothing to fix. this was another great thing. on monday i had almost said, don't fix my hernia, because i had heard that that pain recovery can be worse than the bypass. 

6pm i finally get to go home.

i sept pretty well, went to bed around 10pm woke up at 2am, had yogurt shake, back to bed and woke up around 6:30am. nausea is all gone!!11

11.29.07
do my best to get in my cal/protein/fuilds. corie and mark are with me all day. it is quite funny how two educated people cannot figure out oz vs tablespoons. but there is no complaint on my end, because i'm just there and they are doing all the work. we realize by late pm that they had the caluculations all wrong and regarding tablespoons and cups and had pretty much straved me!  better luck tomorrow

11.30.07
ok we now get that it takes four tablespoons to equal a 1/4 cup (not two!) so we're on a roll! woke up feeling REALLY good. kind of like "did he do anything to my stomach???" i feel i shouldn't feel this good. i've decided that i'll only take the pain meds when i want to sleep.  after my early morning yogurt i have my first cup of warm cafeinated tea. boy did that go down nicely!  but to make a long story short, that cafeine kicked my butt!  i couldn't take a nap or fall asleep that night.  i had woken up at 6:30am and i didn't fall asleep until 2am and i really never slept.  i'm keeping off the cafeine. still didn't get my cal/prot/fui in like i should of. harder than i thought i would be

made my first calls to people, answered emails and when on OH.  feel so human again.

12.1.07
i found a nice detailed sheet in all my papers on how to get all the liquids in,  i'm going to follow this today. also i'm going to make all my foods, haven't done it once until now. last night i went on egg face's blog, she really is a wealth of information.  i'm using some of her tips today....why re-invent the wheel? also within all my papers there is conflicting information on how much cal/pro/liq i should be getting in right now and how to go about it.  i really think st. vincent's should have someone look all these documents over and do a big overhaul and put all the pieces together that should go together.

i feel weird today, good but wierd, i think it's the no sleep and the cafeine in me.  i also took off my stomach binder and i'm not going to do pain meds today and see how it goes.

wore a bra today!

11/6/07 so 10/26 i had all my pre-op testing. i got there at 7:15am and didn't get done until 2pm. not bad though. lots of blood work and questions. the one thing that pissed me off. there is this doctor in the practice, i've met with him before. he seems to be one to go over your file and make sure all is good. so i take this medicine, altace, it's a med for high blood pressure, but my regular doctor has me take it for my diabetes and keeping my kidney's in check. so this doc, lets call him doctor doesn't listen (ddl for short), looks over my file (this is the second time we've meet) and once again he says "you have diabetes and high blood pressure" and i say for the second time..."no i don't have high blood pressure, i take the altace for the kidneys" he says yes for the kidneys. so i think that he finally listened to me and got it. so after a few minutes of talking he goes again you have high blood pressure..so i just drop it and move on. so then at the nutritional class that day, the nurse comes in and says "the DDL said to make sure you take your blood pressure meds the day of surgery' i then break down and have a mouth fit about i don't have HB and that i've told ddl this three times but he doesn't listen to me, and unless he knows something that i don't I DONT HAVE HB!!!!! Of course this was totally inappropriate that i yelled at her about this. her response was she is only telling me what she was told. so the bottom line is i'll take the meds even though i don't have hd but maybe it is best, it could be that this med shouldn't be just stopped. the nurse told us that she will only call us if our anemia was an issue and if our sugars were high. which are my two issues. but my close friend is going to also be my anelstigioligist (sp??) and he looked over my chart and said everything looked great...YIPPY! so i went shopping to cvs the other day spent a pretty penny of things that they say i'll need. vitamins, gasx, pill crusher etc... and today i bought four warming plates, and yesterday i bought online the bars/drinks/snacks that peter at st vincent's recommended. i'm trying to be organized by putting everything for the surgery in this big red basket that i got. mark is reading the booklet and then i'll give it to corie and my mom. it was nice to finally get things in writing. i was VERY happy to learn that i can have caffeine after the surgery!!!! it was relieve to get confirmation that i don't have to go on a liquid diet before the surgery. i'm concerned that six weeks off will not be enough. i learned that i won't be trying non purred type food until the 7th week. so i had a short talk with gail and she is adement about me not coming back until 8 weeks out, which ends up being my birthday, so i'm thinking i'll take off another week and not come back until the last week in january. vivian (hr) is working on the short term disability forms. so i learned a lot at this training and i'm doing a lot of reading, but it doesn't take all the doubts and fears that i have about having this surgery. it's real it's permanent and it's me. more later.

ok this waiting bit sucks...i'll have the surgery 2 months and one day from today, that is way to long from now! so i need to make some goals to get  through these two months

1. starting 10/1 i'm going back to my excerise routine, after working out for 12 months and eating pretty well for the same 12 months (insurance requirement) i did't lose a dang-it thing! so i just F--k it! what does it matter. so i just stopped doing it all. well of course that isn't a good attitude to have and will get me KNOW where...so an attitude adjustment is needed. so i'm going to

2. measure all my body parts
3. weight myself
4. take pictures (i made need alchol for this one) of my body.
5 and start walking

all by october 1. i will of coure record all of this in something..i have calorieking right now but i also keep hearing about fitday.  

now i'm not going to go over board and eat ALL healthy, i need to have a slow process of getting rid of my trigger foods..this is going to be bit painful, but i can do it!

i'll be back next week to record my progress.