Jun 24, 2019
Im pretty pleased with myself but less excited than I'd anticipated. Partially because my progress has been consistent enough that I knew it was coming and partially because I wanted to be here faster.
Halfway to goal.
Jun 04, 2019
I just got back from vacation and I feel good. I ate well away from my controlled environment, even out at restaurants. I was self conscious about eating around people that I hadn't seen in a year but discovered pretty quickly that people aren't paying attention to me and my food. They're paying attention to their own food.
It was interesting watching people eat and be so absorbed. Generally food isn't that interesting to me since I know I can eat much. I try to be selective and eat only excellent foods so I can get the most bang for my buck. If I'm eating 6 bites, they'd better be spectacular. I loved spending more time chatting than eating.
Weigh in was a bit scary after 5 days with no weigh-in. But, I did fine. I'm nearing one-derland and beyond.
May 07, 2019
I haven't blogged here in a long time. Life has been hectic and stressful and I've been spending a lot less time online. Also, my weight loss progress has been so painfully slow that I am rather despondent and frustrated. My plan was to be halfway to my goal by now and I'm not there. My plan was to lose 2lb/week and that's a LAUGH.
At no point have I regretted the surgery. I regret that I can't unlock whatever I need to experience faster weight loss. I regret that weight loss hasn't "fixed" my heartburn.
There has been a pretty significant NSV this week. I bought a pair of size 14 jeans! I haven't worn a size 14 anything since 1984 when I was in the 8th grade. This is astonishing and lets me know that my body is changing despite the scale.
Food is fine. I've reduced some of my food-related stress. Now for life stress.
Mar 19, 2019
Things are going well. Weight loss is slow, and that's frustrating, but I feel good and I'm trusting the process.
Feb 23, 2019
I sent my mom my most recent before and after photo comparison. Her response was, "Great! This is really working for you! You're losing your boobs."
So true. It's even more noticeable without clothes. Ugh. I can already see that I'm going to be self-conscious about my breasts and arms as I lose more.
Taking pictures, something I didn't do the first time I tried to lose weight, is really a critical part of the journey. On an every day basis, I cannot really see the weight loss, except for my saggy bottom and breasts. The side by side pictures really tell the story.
Feb 19, 2019
I've been snacking all day. At least it feels that way. Not even really hungry, just peckish and unsatisfied with my meals. It's frustrating and stressful because I'm calorie and macronutrient obsessed. I know it doesn't matter, ultimately, so long as I'm making healthful choices. But it feels like self-sabotage even if I'm not eating junk foods.
I suppose I'll go post this and listen to people give me reasonable advice and suggestions.
Feb 15, 2019
I am feeling simultaneously delighted and dismayed at having the cull my wardrobe to remove trousers that are too big. Yesterday morning, I put on a pair of slacks and my wife said, "uhh.. those are like, two sizes too big and two inches too long". So, I hunted through the closet for a pair that would match my top and my boots and went to work. When I got home, I started taking out slacks and trying them on, only to discard pair after pair.
There were pants in there I don't think I've ever worn! One pair, that fit me rather snugly, could not possibly have ever even closed on my body since I weigh less, now, than I have since early high school. Why on earth do I have pants that I couldn't wear, unless they were a gift?
I did a similar thing with tops a couple of weeks ago, but many of those were just things I don't wear regularly or that were large from well before WLS. The trousers purge feels more significant. I didn't realize how much fabric my fat removed from the total length of the pant legs. I didn't realize how many of my slacks were rather uncomfortably tight.
Now I need to find an inexpensive place to purchase interim sizes. Not a terrible problem to have.
Feb 04, 2019
I mean, I knew, theoretically, that they were under there since my arms and shoulders move. I've pressed down in that area before, beneath the flesh and fat, and felt something hard in that general area. But, it's a completely different thing to actually SEE the bones. I was standing in the mirror after trying out my Zozo suit, which is kind of silly but works surprisingly well. And I moved my arm forward and saw my collarbone move! I actually pressed on it in awe.
This, more than my unfortunately saggy underwear, my constant tugging at the waistbands of my favorite camo jeans and pajama bottoms, and my dismayingly saggy boobs, solidifies in my mind that I'm losing weight. I don't know when, if ever, that I could see my collar bones.
Trust the process, Crystal Harris.
Feb 03, 2019
So, of course I know stalls are normal, but that doesn't mean I wasn't dismayed when mine hit at 8 weeks. The first week, I just tried to ignore it. But the second week, I decided to look back on my first weeks and see what I was doing differently. The first weeks I ate more calories. After researching and talking to people, I reduced my calories to 850 and dropped my carbs down to less than 30. Inexplicably, my loss slowed more each week after I started that.
This week, I increased my caloric intake to 965 with carbs at 20%. As soon as I did that, I lost 2lbs. I'm not sure of the physiology here, since we've always been taught calories in versus calories out.
I found a cool resource for calculating caloric needs, which is where 965 comes from. Trust the process