Aug 05, 2019
I'm in the doldrums right now. These last two months have been difficult, emotionally. I hit my lowest weight in 30+ years and promptly went up 7. Of course, it was all water, but it's been frustrating. I'm finally back where I was on my birthday 6/25, but that's like two wasted months. I did realize how very little I've been drinking. I'm talking less than 20oz/day! And how much snacking I've been doing.
My last blog post was about the evils of snacking, and I was definitely better in July than I was in June. I have been snacking a few times a week, but I make sure it's generally fruit and I've watched my carbs closely. Hence being back to my low weight. Still, I need to get back on the train. Only halfway to goal and it's starting to get challenging.
The challenge has been just staying on track - not veering off my working food plan. Eating out is definitely sabotaging and I strictly limit that.
My big challenge right now is not eating my feelings. Things have been hard around the house with the wife and kids. Life is suboptimal. I am emotionally exhausted, I'm bored and stressed. This makes me want to EAT. So far, I've kept it under control. No more sitting in the kitchen to read or hang out. No more eating after 8p.
No excuses, Crystal Harris!
Jul 15, 2019
Well, I only was below 200 for a few days. Then I shot up 7lbs in a week. Rationally, I know it is mostly water because there's no way to eat calories 3500 * 7 in such a short time. Still, it's sad. Three of the excess pounds came off, but I'm still above 200. This weight gain also included a surge in calories from carbs because I've been snacking like crazy.
I resolved to eliminate snacking in my post-VSG life and only eat at meal times. Well, a family camping trip + the Fair + my birthday + San Diego Pride weekend put paid, at least temporarily, to my no snacking practices.
It's been pretty easy to see how snacking really sabotages your total calories.
Yesterday, while volunteering for Pride over 7 hours, I had part of a snow-cone (pure sugar), a handful of kettle corn, a bag of beef jerky (90 calories), a small bag of Cheetos (130 calories), two Oreo cookies (160), 4 spoonfuls of soft serve, 1 carne asada taco, and a corn on the cob. For dinner, I ate half a hamburger and a few fries! I think I ate 2000 calories yesterday and I didn't feel full until after the burger.
Snacking is just insidious and a major culprit in my fatness. It was actually a bit of a revelation.
So, back to my regular food plan. Just that fast, my carb cravings are back and sweet or salty snacks seem appealing. Of course, 8 months isn't a long enough time to cure a lifetime of bad habits. Nor does 1 month sabotage my weight loss goal.
Still, it's a tough set back and I'm a bit down.
Jun 24, 2019
Im pretty pleased with myself but less excited than I'd anticipated. Partially because my progress has been consistent enough that I knew it was coming and partially because I wanted to be here faster.
Halfway to goal.
Jun 04, 2019
I just got back from vacation and I feel good. I ate well away from my controlled environment, even out at restaurants. I was self conscious about eating around people that I hadn't seen in a year but discovered pretty quickly that people aren't paying attention to me and my food. They're paying attention to their own food.
It was interesting watching people eat and be so absorbed. Generally food isn't that interesting to me since I know I can eat much. I try to be selective and eat only excellent foods so I can get the most bang for my buck. If I'm eating 6 bites, they'd better be spectacular. I loved spending more time chatting than eating.
Weigh in was a bit scary after 5 days with no weigh-in. But, I did fine. I'm nearing one-derland and beyond.
May 07, 2019
I haven't blogged here in a long time. Life has been hectic and stressful and I've been spending a lot less time online. Also, my weight loss progress has been so painfully slow that I am rather despondent and frustrated. My plan was to be halfway to my goal by now and I'm not there. My plan was to lose 2lb/week and that's a LAUGH.
At no point have I regretted the surgery. I regret that I can't unlock whatever I need to experience faster weight loss. I regret that weight loss hasn't "fixed" my heartburn.
There has been a pretty significant NSV this week. I bought a pair of size 14 jeans! I haven't worn a size 14 anything since 1984 when I was in the 8th grade. This is astonishing and lets me know that my body is changing despite the scale.
Food is fine. I've reduced some of my food-related stress. Now for life stress.
Mar 19, 2019
Things are going well. Weight loss is slow, and that's frustrating, but I feel good and I'm trusting the process.
Feb 23, 2019
I sent my mom my most recent before and after photo comparison. Her response was, "Great! This is really working for you! You're losing your boobs."
So true. It's even more noticeable without clothes. Ugh. I can already see that I'm going to be self-conscious about my breasts and arms as I lose more.
Taking pictures, something I didn't do the first time I tried to lose weight, is really a critical part of the journey. On an every day basis, I cannot really see the weight loss, except for my saggy bottom and breasts. The side by side pictures really tell the story.
Feb 19, 2019
I've been snacking all day. At least it feels that way. Not even really hungry, just peckish and unsatisfied with my meals. It's frustrating and stressful because I'm calorie and macronutrient obsessed. I know it doesn't matter, ultimately, so long as I'm making healthful choices. But it feels like self-sabotage even if I'm not eating junk foods.
I suppose I'll go post this and listen to people give me reasonable advice and suggestions.
Feb 15, 2019
I am feeling simultaneously delighted and dismayed at having the cull my wardrobe to remove trousers that are too big. Yesterday morning, I put on a pair of slacks and my wife said, "uhh.. those are like, two sizes too big and two inches too long". So, I hunted through the closet for a pair that would match my top and my boots and went to work. When I got home, I started taking out slacks and trying them on, only to discard pair after pair.
There were pants in there I don't think I've ever worn! One pair, that fit me rather snugly, could not possibly have ever even closed on my body since I weigh less, now, than I have since early high school. Why on earth do I have pants that I couldn't wear, unless they were a gift?
I did a similar thing with tops a couple of weeks ago, but many of those were just things I don't wear regularly or that were large from well before WLS. The trousers purge feels more significant. I didn't realize how much fabric my fat removed from the total length of the pant legs. I didn't realize how many of my slacks were rather uncomfortably tight.
Now I need to find an inexpensive place to purchase interim sizes. Not a terrible problem to have.