Mar 19, 2019
Things are going well. Weight loss is slow, and that's frustrating, but I feel good and I'm trusting the process.
Feb 23, 2019
I sent my mom my most recent before and after photo comparison. Her response was, "Great! This is really working for you! You're losing your boobs."
So true. It's even more noticeable without clothes. Ugh. I can already see that I'm going to be self-conscious about my breasts and arms as I lose more.
Taking pictures, something I didn't do the first time I tried to lose weight, is really a critical part of the journey. On an every day basis, I cannot really see the weight loss, except for my saggy bottom and breasts. The side by side pictures really tell the story.
Feb 19, 2019
I've been snacking all day. At least it feels that way. Not even really hungry, just peckish and unsatisfied with my meals. It's frustrating and stressful because I'm calorie and macronutrient obsessed. I know it doesn't matter, ultimately, so long as I'm making healthful choices. But it feels like self-sabotage even if I'm not eating junk foods.
I suppose I'll go post this and listen to people give me reasonable advice and suggestions.
Feb 15, 2019
I am feeling simultaneously delighted and dismayed at having the cull my wardrobe to remove trousers that are too big. Yesterday morning, I put on a pair of slacks and my wife said, "uhh.. those are like, two sizes too big and two inches too long". So, I hunted through the closet for a pair that would match my top and my boots and went to work. When I got home, I started taking out slacks and trying them on, only to discard pair after pair.
There were pants in there I don't think I've ever worn! One pair, that fit me rather snugly, could not possibly have ever even closed on my body since I weigh less, now, than I have since early high school. Why on earth do I have pants that I couldn't wear, unless they were a gift?
I did a similar thing with tops a couple of weeks ago, but many of those were just things I don't wear regularly or that were large from well before WLS. The trousers purge feels more significant. I didn't realize how much fabric my fat removed from the total length of the pant legs. I didn't realize how many of my slacks were rather uncomfortably tight.
Now I need to find an inexpensive place to purchase interim sizes. Not a terrible problem to have.
Feb 04, 2019
I mean, I knew, theoretically, that they were under there since my arms and shoulders move. I've pressed down in that area before, beneath the flesh and fat, and felt something hard in that general area. But, it's a completely different thing to actually SEE the bones. I was standing in the mirror after trying out my Zozo suit, which is kind of silly but works surprisingly well. And I moved my arm forward and saw my collarbone move! I actually pressed on it in awe.
This, more than my unfortunately saggy underwear, my constant tugging at the waistbands of my favorite camo jeans and pajama bottoms, and my dismayingly saggy boobs, solidifies in my mind that I'm losing weight. I don't know when, if ever, that I could see my collar bones.
Trust the process, Crystal Harris.
Feb 03, 2019
So, of course I know stalls are normal, but that doesn't mean I wasn't dismayed when mine hit at 8 weeks. The first week, I just tried to ignore it. But the second week, I decided to look back on my first weeks and see what I was doing differently. The first weeks I ate more calories. After researching and talking to people, I reduced my calories to 850 and dropped my carbs down to less than 30. Inexplicably, my loss slowed more each week after I started that.
This week, I increased my caloric intake to 965 with carbs at 20%. As soon as I did that, I lost 2lbs. I'm not sure of the physiology here, since we've always been taught calories in versus calories out.
I found a cool resource for calculating caloric needs, which is where 965 comes from. Trust the process
Jan 26, 2019
I'm doing well. Weight loss is slow, but I'm trusting the process. My food stress is pretty low since I stopped stressing about macronutrients. More next week..
Jan 23, 2019
I ain't even hungry but I've been snacking today. I can't toast nuts and keep them around the house anymore. The crunchy calls to me. I actually feel kind of yucky.
Jan 17, 2019
Yet another thing I didn't do, post LapBand, was take my measurements. I find it embarrassing and time consuming, especially since I don't want someone else to do it for me. In keeping with my genuine effort to take a different path this time around, I decided to record my pre-surgery measurements.
My 2lbs/week has remained steady, and I can tell the difference in my clothing. I had to clean out my big pants and I was able to easily fit my small pants. My favorite knee-high boots, with the super tight left calf, are no longer super tight. In fact, the right boot feels weirdly loose. My neighbor, who knows nothing about my weight loss journey, exclaimed at my loss yesterday, giving me a nice confidence boost.
So, I laboriously took my measurements last night. WOWSERS!
Waist, hip, biceps, chest, calves all down. My waist is down 3 inches. That's madness.
This is a lovely boost because I'm a bit frustrated with the slow movement of the scale.
Trust the process... trust the process.
Jan 15, 2019
I've decided to take a break on attempting to construct balanced meals. I think that's contributing to my anxiety and stress. For the last few days, I've been choosing a protein that I want, eating it, and maybe flavoring the protein with some nutritious food.
So, I had salmon a few times, once over a few salad greens but other times by itself. I had deli sliced chicken with roasted red pepper on top. I've had plain yogurt with almonds.
No more green smoothies for now, or salads, or bento boxes. All I was focusing on was what I wasn't eating, what I still had left to eat, how I wasn't getting proper nutrition or meeting my food goals.
Now, I'm generally close to my protein goal, I'm ignoring fat grams completely, and I'm barely eating carbs. This doesn't seem sustainable, in the long term, but mentally I feel better, I'm still losing, and I'll sort out balanced meals when I can eat a bit more.
I've also given up on plain water. I will drink a glass or two upon waking or taking pills. But since surgery, it doesn't taste the same to me. So, I'm drinking black tea for hydration. Deadly caffeine. Still not making goal, but I'm a lot closer.
I had to clean out my closet a bit. I got rid of shirts and pants that are unsightly large. I predict that, by Spring, I will look like a hobo.