How Times Flies!

Dec 29, 2011

I know that I've not been keeping up on the bloging.  So what has happend since the last time I was here and now.  Let's see my relationship with my long time boyfriend has gotten better and deeper. I couldn't ask for more in that department.  I had to take a leave of absence from my job in October when it changed so dramatically that I couldn't handle it.  Never let it be said that the mind and body do not know when you can't do or take much more before it breaks.  In that time off, I had to learn how take care of me.  I thought I did, seriously I thought that with the surgery I would learn to put me first.  I guess I didn't.  I'm also having problems with motivation.  I mean here I am, dealing with regain.  Do I let me stay here for a little bit until I get my inside self healed or do I force myself to look in mirror.   It is not often I admit that I'm afraid or that I allow my pride to stop.  It was hard enough for me go into intensive therapy.   I'm learning to tell people no.  first itme  ever

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In a happy place

Aug 10, 2010

I had a happy moment yesterday.  Before support group, I weighed myself.  I don't own a scale, I won't buy one because I will be on it everyday.  But I'm now at 208.  I don't remember the last time I was 208 honestly.  But it felt so good, but I'm not stopping there.  I've got a ways to go and with the boot going to be replaced with an ankle brace, life is going to be more on track.  My dad brought my class ring back with him from NC and I need to get it sized down, but I'm also thinking about getting a ring guard put in because I want to have it as a reminder.   So this Thursday, Saturday and Sunday should be fun and interesting because it is Wisconsin State Fair time and let's see how I deal with all those foods that are so fried, rich and on a stick.  I hope I can find a salad....
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I don't need no stinking Summer...Crap

Jun 05, 2010

I'm trying to do the blog on a monthly basis, but I missed May due to a small problem...okay it isn't that small.  So my exercise routine has been effectively been put on hold.  On May 28th, I had ankle surgery for the 3rd time in 10 years.  Legacy of being morbidly obese.  I had to have tendon reconstruction along with ankle arthoscopy where the surgeon found the original scar had stuck to the tendon that didn't tear, torn tendon, bone fragment, bone spur,  and all other manners of crap in my ankle.  So I'm stuck with a boot for the next 2 months, crutches for the next month, and an ankle that looks like a patchwork quilt.  Hopefully I can go back to work soon before I go nuts.  I also hope to be mobile enought for State Fair. So at least I'm making some goals

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Wow

Apr 30, 2010

Ok, so I'm going to slow down for a little bit.  I'm dealing with an ankle injury that now will need surgery.  Can you say 3rd surgery, I knew you could.  But at least this time I'm at 225 and not over 300.  75 pounds does make a huge difference.  Hopefully the reconstruction will be successful and I can return to exercise class and my walking routine.   I like the fact that I can wear stuff that I could only dream of last year.  I'm having a little trouble with everyone saying how different I look and now listening to what I have to say.  Kinda makes me angry...not hulk angry just angry. *Sigh* 
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Happy Birthday

Mar 30, 2010

37...wow remember when you thought 30 was old and anyone 40 was positively ancient?  Happy birthday to me!  This year I've got so much to celebrate.  I made it to another year, still working, finally had my surgery and now am in a healthier part of my life, and that I'm moving on with my life in better directions.   My life is busier than ever, exercise class on Tuesday and Thursdays,  walking during lunch,  and now that the weather is getting better I can walk home from work.  I can't wait for that.  The only part that I have a problem is that people who haven't seen me in a long time are stunned and stare.  I guess there are somethings that don't change...
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Happy Aniversary

Mar 10, 2010

No it's not that anniversary.  Today holds a very special place in my heart, because it's my favorite little person in the world's birthday and it is the one year anniversary of me taking the first of 6 steps on the journey to my surgery.   So it's time for a little reflection.

In one year, I've lost almost 100lbs, can go up and downstairs without being out of breath(the pain in my knees will always be there, thanks arthritis), can tie my shoes while bending over, can walk without my thighs rubbing, can grab my hands from my back, can sit in one seat on the bus, and touch my toes.  I've also joined my first exercise class, dumped the unsupportive boyfriend, become more confident in myself, and stop saying when I lose the weight I'm going to do"insert action".  I've changed jobs, gained new friends, and am renewing friendships that are really worth while!

So I'm going to enjoy this moment over a Skinny Decaf Vanilla Latte and say prayers for all my sisters and brothers who keep dreaming of their surgery days and hope that their journey of a thousand miles are as good as mine.

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Learning to live a new life

Jan 17, 2010

I know it's been awhile, but between holidays, work, helping friends and living, I've been very busy.  Went back to work on 11/30 and it has been interesting learning my job and learning what I can eat for lunch that won't wind up being thrown away.  Hard to tell co-workers that the pizza that the bosses brought in is something that I just can't eat, or the cookies that were made.  I don't want pity, I knew that I wouldn't be able to eat the same thing that everyone else does.   But it has been funny watching everyone else do the New Year's diet resolutions and then watching them give up.  I was told that I must be really dedicated to my diet routine.  No, I'm not just dedicated, I know that I have to walk during lunch and work out after work because I don't want to be back where I started from. There is a lot of have to's in my life and that is OK with me.  I don't have the option of stopping.  I like the way I can now reach behind my back and how I can touch my toes from a standing position. Stairs are as much of a problem as they have been, the fear of heights won't go away with the weight loss but it is nice not to have the extra weight behind it. 

Christmas was interesting.  I had family asking me why did I choose the options I did.  I said I was tired of being overweight and the possibility of diabetes and heart disease hanging over my head and that I wanted to feel good about everything.

Speaking about diabetes, my boyfriend found out right after Thanksgiving that he is diabetic and now has to make changes to his life.  It was a huge eye opening experience.  But I'm going to support him through this. He is learning that his eating habits have to change.  I hope that he can stick with the changes.

Luckily the whole nausea thing seems to be behind me, or at least for now.  Now let's deal with finding a new psychiatrist, the one who helped getting to the surgery is now terminally ill with cancer and now I have to build a new relationship with a different doctor.  So wish me luck. 

But I hope that the new year will be heck a lot gentler than the old one. 
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Learning to live a new life

Jan 17, 2010

I know it's been awhile, but between holidays, work, helping friends and living, I've been very busy.  Went back to work on 11/30 and it has been interesting learning my job and learning what I can eat for lunch that won't wind up being thrown away.  Hard to tell co-workers that the pizza that the bosses brought in is something that I just can't eat, or the cookies that were made.  I don't want pity, I knew that I wouldn't be able to eat the same thing that everyone else does.   But it has been funny watching everyone else do the New Year's diet resolutions and then watching them give up.  I was told that I must be really dedicated to my diet routine.  No, I'm not just dedicated, I know that I have to walk during lunch and work out after work because I don't want to be back where I started from. There is a lot of have to's in my life and that is OK with me.  I don't have the option of stopping.  I like the way I can now reach behind my back and how I can touch my toes from a standing position. Stairs are as much of a problem as they have been, the fear of heights won't go away with the weight loss but it is nice not to have the extra weight behind it. 

Christmas was interesting.  I had family asking me why did I choose the options I did.  I said I was tired of being overweight and the possibility of diabetes and heart disease hanging over my head and that I wanted to feel good about everything.

Speaking about diabetes, my boyfriend found out right after Thanksgiving that he is diabetic and now has to make changes to his life.  It was a huge eye opening experience.  But I'm going to support him through this. He is learning that his eating habits have to change.  I hope that he can stick with the changes.

Luckily the whole nausea thing seems to be behind me, or at least for now.  Now let's deal with finding a new psychiatrist, the one who helped getting to the surgery is now terminally ill with cancer and now I have to build a new relationship with a different doctor.  So wish me luck. 

But I hope that the new year will be heck a lot gentler than the old one. 
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A Return To Normal...Whatever Normal Maybe...

Nov 28, 2009

I'm so glad that the nausea and the vomitting are over.  Now I can really learn how to work with my pouch and be the best me.  I'm also glad to be going back to work, which I'm excited and nervous about.  I hope that I don't wind up with nervous stomach issues.  I'm glad that this past week is over.  I was in the emergency room with my boyfriend due to his panic attacks and OCD taking over.   Found out he was not taking any of his medications and I'm not happy about that.  Watching someone you love and care about fall apart is hard.  Bright spot of the week, I watched my little sister who's 5 loose her 1st tooth and I cried.  I now can understand the phrase "Eyes bigger than stomach"  At least I was able to handle eating turkey, but I had issues with brussel sprouts.  No problem with my mom's stuffing(the teaspoon I ate) but I did have to deal with big time head hunger when pies were brought out.  I will not let it win.
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Turning the corner

Nov 16, 2009

I think I turned a corner...it feels like I turned a corner.  I was able to eat some chicken salad for lunch. AND IT DIDN'T COME BACK UP!!!!!  This make the 4th meal I've been able to eat and not be sick. I'm still naueous, but I'm not getting sick.  I could jump up and down, but I'm going to wait until later.  Thanks everyone whose been saying prayers for me.  Unfortunately I'm still not back at work.  I won't be going back until 11/30, so at least I'll get to go out on Black Friday and shop or pretend and take my mom out for lunch!  Ok mine will look like a snack, hers will look like a feast in my eyes.  But I don't know what I'm going to do with 2 weeks extra of free time!

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About Me
Milwaukee, WI
Location
38.0
BMI
RNY
Surgery
09/17/2009
Surgery Date
Sep 19, 2000
Member Since

Friends 33

Latest Blog 27
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