csbsteph
Late night thoughts "Just do it"
Sep 27, 2015
Hey everybody/anybody that takes the time to read this. I haven't blogged in so long because of reasons posted in my last blog, school started, I stopped using pretty much all social media to live by example to my daughter, reasons in other post. Main reason is my Dads lung cancer. It has shrunk with the chemo and radiation treatments so praise God for that. His cancer is in a place high up in the lung where it can't be removed because it's attached to nerves, it's a fast growing type of cancer & even though it has shrunk there is the possibility for more growth and spreading, Tuesday of this week he starts 10 more radiation treatments to his head/brain...this is a precautionary thing that both of his Docs recommended because if you don't do this then the cancer could spread to the brain. I've had several sleepless/late nights over this & I guess that's why I'm on here so late. It's hard for anybody/any of us to watch those we love be in bad health/weak/sick/struggling with any disease. As I mentioned in my last blog post, my Dads unwavering faith keeps a lot of things in perspective. My weight loss and health problems before my VSG surgery were not so big a deal compared to the big C word. Last week my daughter & I were blessed enough to be able to go on a beach trip vacation to Gulf Shores AL with them. The last time my Savannah & I went to the beach w/them was 5 years ago, so Vannah was 9 & Dad was in perfect health, he walked on the beach, swam, just had a great time. This beach trip was a blessing because my husband & I can't afford vacations, but with the joy of the trip there was also sadness to watch my Dad struggle to walk on the beach & have to have me help him get up, he also didn't swim any which he loves to do. Praise God I still have my folks, a lot of us don't we all experience loss...what I'm trying to say is this trip with them and any time I can spend with them is a blessing. If you haven't talked to your parents or anybody in your family that if for some/any reason you've lost touch with I ask that you please consider just giving them a call to say hi. God can heal broken relationships, only God can even if it was someone that hurt you but you still love them reach out if not for them then for yourself. Each & everyday we have in this life with our health is a gift to us & any time we can spend with those we really love is a blessing.
Today I cried my eyes out at church for which I also say thank you Lord for waterproof mascara. A young lady who looked to be in her late 20's early 30's was sitting next to us, I knew right away that she had cancer, the tell-tale cancer awareness covering her head was a giveaway. I knew she didn't feel good/strong enough to stand while we were singing praises. A young preacher was invited to preach at our church and the message was basically that we place so many obstacles in our lives or have so many troubles that we either turn away from God or just don't take the time to call on Him/rely on him. After the sermon praises were once again sang, and this young lady who didn't have the energy to stand because I know she was weak got up and walked up to the stage and got a microphone and began to sing praises to God. I just/many others started to cry. Why do I/we/you put so many limitations on/in our lives when we are healthy/or are on our way to being healthy. I want to make youtube videos to share my story/faith/money saving tips/crafts but I let my insecurities keep me from it. This young lady who I would like to ask you to remember in your prayers-her name is Josslynn-didn't let cancer or how bad she felt, or how hard it is to be a woman without hair stop her from getting up and praising God. She has stage 1 ovarian cancer. If she hasn't had any children, I don't know if she has or not, but if she hasn't the possibility of her being a Mom is probably gone. Please remember her & my Dad in your prayers if you pray. I ask for you & me to be brave about shining our light. This angel Josslynn shined her beautiful light and shared her voice with our whole church today. We've got to be brave, if God is moving us to do something/anything as my daughter says "swoosh it Mom" (when she first said this I was like huh?) She told me it was like the Nike swoosh "Just do it Mom." This can mean many things for each of us, if God has directed you to do something just do it. If you haven't had surgery pray about it and just do it, if you have had surgery but need to get back on track with your eating plan, just do it. Whatever you feel called to do that will make you happy YOU not those around you, but you-Just do it.
I know this is a long blog as mine tend to be, sometimes I think I just write them for myself to look back on someday to remember/never forget feelings/blessings/the struggle to keep the weight off/down. As far as the health/weight goes, I'm standing steady at the same weight, I noticed that only drinking 1 protein shake a day instead of 2 has moved the weight a little. I've only done yoga once in the past month, that's something I've got to keep & get back on track with, it's great for anxiety and also gives me some prayer time at the end. I do hit the gym fast & hard and with a vengeance. I do cardio & weights now, at first I was wrongly thinking just cardio was all I needed to do cause I didn't want to bulk anything up I wanted it to shrink & go away...I am hooked on doing leg presses, I think my butt is shrinking, I love doing arm weights, I've still got the tell tale angel wing flaps but I just feel stronger. I can bring in huge heavy cases of water & cases of dog food in the house now with no trouble, I just feel strong. On our beach trip I took the stairs up 5 flights each time just because I could, I got winded but I did it as much as I could and thanked God at the top/bottom each time for being able to do that. I still thank God when I get my relaxing bubble baths at night...yes I thank God for things when I'm naked because He made me & knows me & knows how thankful I am that I can fit in the tub now, where as before I couldn't. Fall is my favorite time of year, the beauty of the changing leaves, how fun Halloween is, how most of us are able to take the time at Thanksgiving & Christmas to spend with family. Just a whole bunch of goodness all wrapped up into my favorite time of year. It's also time for yoplaits pumpkin spice light yogurt so yea for that too. I still journal my foods/activity. I stay on track as best I can, no/very limited sugar, low carb. With the weight snail moving I could be discouraged but then I think back to this current weight being the weight I was at way back in my 20's so Imma keep on fighting & not be sad about where I'm at. I sure don't feel like I've failed at it. I feel great. Who knows what problems tomorrow may bring, please God keep things positive, but I just feel good. Job search going on right now too so if God sends me to it/into that I'll just do it. I LOVE LOVE LOVE being a stay at home Mom, I'm there when my people & pets need me, but when money is tight it's just tight. I LOVE you guys & I thank you for reading this if you took/had the time. God bless ya'll & I hope your journey is going good no matter what obstacles are in your path, just do it! Some pics from our vacation & a few other below if I can get them to attach correctly. Thanks ya'll & please lift Josslynn & my Dad up in prayer.
