Back Again....April 9TH 2013

Apr 09, 2013

I have missed this site and now I find myself needing it more than ever . FB is nice and a fun way to keep up with what is going on in everyone's life ( may I  mention the oh so addicting games also ) but it seems like nothing more than a continuous flow of likes not a place you really want to say how you feel and what your feeling especially about  this thing called "weight".FB can have its days but I need to make time for this site to because when all is said and done here is where it started and here is what is going to help keep me on track .

I cannot believe so much time has gone by since my weight loss surgery I wish I could say all has been good but at best all I can say is it has been bittersweet . Sweet when I lost a good bit of weight and a tad bit bitter for gaining it back and not being able to keep it off . Part my fault I will say 60% and the other 40% the band I tried at first I really really did but I have had so many problems with this band I gave up which ended up creating more problems as in more weight gain emotional and physical pain.

Which also brings me to the present day : 1 ) Only 6 lbs. less from where I started almost 7 years ago , 2) an empty band , 3 ) something in my stomach which doesn't appear to be a slip but isn't suppose to be there either and when I ask him what it was he didn't know ( this was during the swallow test ) 4 )  and on clear liquids for two weeks... yes two weeks... not easy at all . When I go back to the Dr. in two weeks I have no idea what to expect . Will I have to make a decision to have the band taken out , get a fill eat very very little and hope for the best . I know in my heart this band is not going to work for me but I don't want to give it up I also know I would like to have a revision surgery only not another band . So undecided . Then there is the painful question will anything work for me ? This band has left me so scared and disillusioned about any weight loss surgery and the thought of failing again would be devastating to me .  

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On The Bandwagon Again .....4 /22/09

Apr 22, 2009

As of yesterday I am finally back up on the wagon again . I made myself weigh which I haven't been on the scales in two months. Yikes ! I almost fell over . Stopped feeling sorry for myself , quit using the asthma inhaler { couple of weeks ago } which  I think , increased my appetite . Started writing down my food and keeping up with calories and most importantly detoxed our house of junk . I am a junk food addict and I just cannot , cannot have it in the house . I have no selfcontrol what -so- ever with it... not even with the 100 calorie pack stuff . I'm meeting with my trainer today to start a new exercise program next week and I vow to walk on my tm at home { which I have slacked on } on the days I don't go to the gym. This numbness thing I got going on has not gone away and I don't think it is going to . I'm not feeling sorry for myself and I'm not ready to go to the Dr. with it because I am sick of running to Drs . I had surgery on my knee in "05" band surgery in "06" Hysterectomy in "07"  and it seems just when I get to feeling great something else breaks down lol . I have been taking Melatonin { not every night } to help me sleep and it works really well . I have decided when I can't move I'll worry about it  if its Osteoarthritis like my medical Dr. insists it is then there isn't much they can do for me except give me pills or a shot . I am use to it during the day and as long as I can sleep at night I'm O.K. All in all life is good and I have a lot to be thankful for . I will be back in my size ten's soon . I have been eating between 1000 and 1200 calories a day and feel very satisfied on that .  I'm happy because I Know I can do this and I will eventually . I just wish I wasn't such a slow learner when it comes to food and that I wouldn't let things get way out of hand before I correct it . Its not that I'm not aware of what I'm doing I just can't stop until I reach a certain point . One thing I know for sure , I will probably always be this way I'm just going to have to learn how to manage it . The way an alcoholic stays away for alchol , the way a drug addict stays away from drugs . I've got to stay away from sugar . I've got to treat it like its poison to me if I'm ever going to be succesful at this . I knew when I started this journey what I was in for because I know how I am but one thing I can say is it works , because I had surgery over two years ago and I've managed to keep my weight { or get it back under } below 200 lbs . That for me is a feat . Especially when for over a decade I struggled to get under 250 lbs. except for when I did the green box diet . Anyhow , this is enough of this ! I'm back with gusto and I'm going to work it for all its worth lol . ~ Cy
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Just Another Day.....

Feb 14, 2009

In band land . Well  ,today is Valentines day and I have no complaints . I'm playing on the computer and hes playing with the dog lol . It has been a good day but I just can't seem to shake this blue feeling . The never give up girl is wearing down . Don't want to turn this into a gripefest but I'm discouraged . I don't know why I never have restriction . I've had very little since my last fill in January and have lost no weight  in  fact I am struggling. I had another fill in March but canceled it because what the heck... I feel like I am just wasting my money if I can still eat, am still hungry and it doesn't work . THAT really sucks !!!!  I am just not at a happy place right now weight wise . I never knew this band was going to be so hard to deal with . I'm not knocking it , its just I thought my "dieting" days were going to be over and its not . I long to eat like a normal person not get hungry and be at a reasonable weight which for me is about 145 lbs...... and it looks like its NOT going to happen . One of the problems is I eat the wrong foods but that has always been my problem . Why can't I get full on the right foods and not eat the bad foods ??????  I thought when you had restriction you didn't have hunger . Head hunger... stomach hunger... hunger is hunger is hunger. O.K. enough already lol . People that have had rny seem to not get hungry can not eat much of the "bad" foods and even though their weight loss to them seems slow lose weight fast . I wish I could say good things about this band right now but I can't . Maybe it is just me and I am a weak person . I want to eat to live not live to eat . If I want to be a success at this I know I've got to change my way of thinking and I guess that is what I'm so angry about . I can't eat what I want and lose weight ...its not EVER going to be easy . O.K. I feel better life goes on and tomorrows a brand new day ... I will do better ! . ~  Cy.....I just want to add to anyone that is reading this I don't mean to bring you down . This is just venting on my part... I'm really mad at myself and the bad habits I have fallen back on .
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Somewhat Puzzled....01/07/09

Jan 07, 2009

Here I am again . It was so nice to see my friends at the meeting last night . Everyone looks wonderful ! The way things have been going for me lately I needed an uplifting moment . I try not to let myself be the jealous kind because I think jealousy is a destructive trait and it just makes you feel worse . I am happy for everyone that is winning this weightloss battle . I just wish my time would hurry up  and get here  .  Well ..... you know what they say about wishing   lol . I think once I get this health issue diagnosed I will feel better when I exercise . Before Christmas I went to my pcp and unfortunately she was retiring that week . My problem is I am having numbness in my hands , arms , feet and legs . It really scared me . She was not going to be in the office to get the bloodwork results which is the first step so she was going to go ahead and send me to a neurologist . She said after three days I should hear from the office about my appt . I never did so I called . Come to find out they were behind in doing their refferals and hadn't got to it yet . After thinking about it for a few days I had decided I didn't need to go to a specialist . I  am almost sure the numbness is caused from my exercise .. a pinched nerve or something so I told them that was O.K. I changed my mind and not to make the appt . So I had to find a new pcp . My husband ask his coworkers who would be a good one and two of them use the same Dr. and just really like her . So I made an appt . with her. Now here is where the puzzle comes in : They told me to be prepared to be in the office three hrs. because she was going to do a complete physical . She looked over my medical history knew all about the band and then I told her about my numbness . Before I left I met with her in her office . She told me from what I told her and the examination she had an idea what was wrong with me but she wasn't going to discuss it until the bloodwork came back and she was pretty sure my bloodwork was going to be fine. I thought oh goody just as I thought a pinched nerve no big deal I'm home free . THEN she writes me a prescription and I swear to you this is how it played out.... for an ASTHMA  inhaler..... I LOOKED STUNNED.... what the heck I'm thinking . So I tell her I haven't had asthma since I was 12 . I do have problems with sinuses and allergies but I take medication for that when I need it . She just shook her hand and said give it a try and in about 3 days after taking it I should see a difference in how I feel .  Then she told me we would discuss it more when I go back for my next appt. after she gets the bloodwork results . I decided to not go to the gym for a few days and after taking that medication the numbness went away so I thought . I went to the gym yesterday did a heavy workout and I was miserable last night the numbness came back everytime I tried to sleep on either side . so that makes me almost positve it is something to do with the weights I'm doing . I had the engery to run on the treadmill which I haven't done in a while . I do feel better since taking the inhaler . My sinuses feel a lot better . But I go in there for numbness and walk out with an asthma inhaler ???? and why couldn't she just tell me it was a pinched nerve or whatever instead of having to wait for the bloodwork to come back if she thought the bloodwork was going to be fine . I'm soooo confused ....... I just want some relief from this numbness . ~ Cy

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New Year New Attitude.... 01/02/08

Jan 02, 2009

It seems the mantra of my life the last two years has been "getting back on track". I am so sick of those words . This year I'm going to change it to "don't let it derail in the first place" . Is it me or is it the band ? or is it me not communicating with the band ? All I know is we are not in sync with each other and I'm getting tired of doing ALL the work lol . O.K. I know how that sounds but it is a tool and it should do SOMETHING besides make me sick when I eat to fast . WHY don't I have restriction ??????? Better yet WHY do I have it only sometimes and WHY do I stay hungry and not satisfied after I eat.... I can eat way more {at times} than I do at meals if I wanted to . Somedays I just want to throw the queen mother of hissy fits because I get so hungry and wind of eating the wrong foods . MY can do never give up attitude has not left the building yet but it is inching toward the door . I know there is a solution out there I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet . I have had good restriction before I know what it feels like...... its like falling in love lol  . I know restriction is not a phantom word it does exist and this union be it love/hate now and forever relationship I have with this fickle thing is not going to be my undoing . Can do never give up girl is going to do just that . Divorce is not an option lol I still love my band .  ~Cy

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Killer Abs , Gluts & Triceps 10 /25 /08

Oct 25, 2008

I was absolutely to exhausted to post this yesterday and to tell you the truth don't even know how to begin to explain the exercieses but I will try .

1) Roll Bar : 15 reps 3 sets , 35 lb. wts.

Stand with one foot in front of the other leaning slightly forward, pull bar toward chest . Tighten abs on the way down.

2) 21's : 12 lb. wts 3 sets

Hold wts palms up, elbos close to body, bring wts 7 times from waist to shoulders , 7 times shoulders to waist , then  7 times from shoulders completely down , all the while keeping abs tight and butt tucked in .

3) Single Arm Curl

15 reps sets 12 lb wts :

 Stand one leg { side that does not have the wts } in front of the other , bend forward that side hand on wall , other side has the wt. bring it up and down while tightening abs .

4) KILLER Abs & Triceps :

15 reps 3 sets 20  lb. bar

Lean against wall , knees bent , small of back pressed against wall , abs tight , bring bar from wait to chest . Not  easy !

5) Lower back &  Abs . I don't even know how to explain this one :

15 reps 3 sets

Lie on bench , hands holding  on to bench lightly behind head  , cross legs, raise in air and lift butt off bench . I couldn't do this so she had me raise my crossed legs and bring them toward my chest...... that is going to take some work for me as my lower back is really weak .

6) Back  : T Bar

15 reps 3 sets 10 lbs.

On machine , feet on bottom , leaning forward , grab bar , bring bar to middle , arms wide , bring wts. up and down . Its harder than it sounds

7) Preacher curls : 15 reps 3 sets

8) arm extenion curls : 8 lb. wts. 15 reps 3 sets

stand straight abs tight arms at side . Extend arms bring up to should height then down to side  .

I was so tired I can't remember if this is all or not will have to look at my sheet Monday and update and get correct names of exercises .


Second Day Of Workout 10 / 22/08

Oct 22, 2008

I don't know what the names of some of these are but I will do my best to describe it.

Killer Legs/abs/butt Workout :

1) legs : 25 lb. wts. 15 reps 3 sets . Put a belt around ankle of right leg cross over other leg and back with toes flexed.. you really feel that in your inner thighs ... not letting the wts touch as you go back to position . Wait 30 seconds between reps  and 1 minute before doing other leg .

2) Squats : 35 lb. wts. 15 reps 3 sets

Grab bar , pull up , keep arms straight , feet apart , lean slightly back ,  butt out back straight ,  then go down .

3) Deadlifts On Board :

15 lbs. 15 reps. 3 sets

Stand on the front part of your feet on a board , 1st rep feet slightly apart , wts. at ankles , ends almost touching held close to body , bring up slightly past knees while tighting butt and thighs , butt out , back straight  . 2nd rep feet a little farther apart . 3rd rep feet wide apart .

4) Leg Press :

120 lbs. of wt added to the 35 lbs. of the machine so total of 155 lbs.

15 reps 3 sets

sit in seat and push forward and back pushing with heels when going forward .

5) Leg Extensions

35 lbs. 15 reps. 3 sets :

Sit in seat roll bar above ankles , push bar forward , flex feet when pushing forward , relax feet on the way down .

 

) Almost forgot this one its a doozie Ab Roller :

40 reps 3 sets

1st  set :  feet on bar , 20 slow then 20 pulse

2nd set : feet in air knees bent legs crossed , 20 slow then 20 pulse

3rd set : feet on end of bench knees bent , 20 slow then 20 pulsed

on all of these you hold on to the handles and roll upper body forward.


Posting My Workout.... 10 /20 / 08

Oct 20, 2008

For me this is the best way to keep up with  it  even though I have it on a chart at the gym . Hope someone can get some benefit out of it too . I'll add more the end of the wk when I have the full workout .

My Six Week wkout :

MONDAY : Abs , Arms , Back :

1) push ups with a stabality ball  - 15 reps 3 sets

2) butterfly arm press - 15 reps { 35 lbs. of wt } 3 sets

3) sitting chest press  machine -  15 reps {30 lbs} 3 sets

4) bicep machine - 15 reps { 45 lbs. } 3 sets

5) pull down { rope } -   15 reps { 17 lbs. } 3 sets

6) free wts -  {10 lbs.}  15 reps 3 sets .. zipper like motion start at chest raising elbos as high as possible

7) Bench dips - 15 reps  3 sets

8 ) med size stability ball {  killer ! } between ankles hands under lower back  raise legs in air halfway then lean legs forward as far as possible to get bum off floor then back down to halfway position . 15 reps 2 sets

9) 10 lb med. ball - count of 35 { 15 each side } 3 reps . Sit with legs bent leaning back as far as possible and move ball from side to side .


RETHINKING.....10/16/08

Oct 16, 2008

I've been thinking , after my rant the other day I need to take a real good look at myself and my eating habits . The truth is I am falling back into old habits again and that is not healthy . True , at times meat does hurt me but I know that and I will just have to work around it . I know what to do to make it work and I will . This is just a bad time of year and I've got to deal with it another way besides eating and exercising  myself to death . Monday I start with the trainer and I am really looking forward to that . My goal is to do exercises that will { hopefully } tone me and get me out of the gym quicker . I am positive I have been doing so many I'm being repetitive  . Also I'm going to listen to the trainer and do the recommended cardio... that might be hard if she suggest less than an hr. because I really believe you need an hr. to boost the metabolism, hmmmm maybe I'm wrong but I'll find out . I've really been mad at myself because I know better, its not really a choice if I want to feel better and be healthy , I've got to eat slower , chew slower , and not graze . Pep talk over lol .. I'm feeling motivated already .

~ CY


O.K. Whats going ON With This Fickle Band.... 10/12/08

Oct 12, 2008

O.K. I'm not going to be mad at myself I'm going to think this through like a sane person lol . This band today at this moment is driving me crazy !!! I have thrown up twice now and don't know exactly why . I ate chicken earlier to fast... not even 2 ozs with sauce on it  ...lost it .... A little while later had a large glass of milk felt wonderful . Nearly an hour later wasn't that hungry so decided to have some cornbread.... big mistake ! Lost it . I don't have hardly anything in my band why am I so tight ? I get hungry and can't eat enough to get full . Then if I eat the least bit fast I throw up . At this moment I am miserable . I just have to vent . My DH poor man doesn't know what to say or do ! I am so tired of him looking at me everytime I eat like..... are you O.K. is it going down.... This is what I think..... When I was on vacation I ate  in moderation most of the time... had no problems ... well I think once I did . With the stock market and the economy the way it has been this last week I have been really upset and I have been having trouble . I think stress and the band don't mix . I  had  a test done and they have found nothing.... so why do I hurt still even at times when I take tiny bits and eat slow... I've been told to eat six small meals a day to control my  hunger  guess I will have to go back to doing that . Tomorrow I'm doing liquids to settle my stomach and start over again . I don't eat fast all the time and when I do BAM ! lol . Well at least I know the band works and maybe after two years I just don't know how to work it . I just can't figure out why all of a sudden I have such restriction... I don't { hardly  ever } eat over a cup and a half of food  at a time but I am guilty of eating to fast and probably to often ... because I'm hungry  but not all the time . There just doesn't seem to be any consistancy with this thing . I get tired of eating the same old foods that go down good . I can't do bread , oatmeal , most veggies , most meats and hardly ever can eat more than a couple of ozs of it  , but I can do cobblers , ice cream , chocolate , anything sweet and not grainy ...  beans , lettuce and mushrooms and some fruit ... without pain . After thinking about this maybe my problem is I'm not on a schedule anymore so this is what I'm going to do :

B  @ 8 a.m. protein shake with fruit  or eggs with fruit

L @ 1 p.m. protein  { Meat  2 -oz }, veggie  usually salad

S @ 4 p.m. protein shake / with fruit or protein bar

D @ 6:30 p.m. Protein {meat - 2 oz} , veggie

S @ 8 p. m. cottage cheese and peaches or some type of cheese and sm fruit or v 8 juice

 To look at this it looks like I go a terribly long time from breakfast to lunch and yes I do . But I can't go to the gym and go on with my day if I stop and eat and truthfully I am not hungry during that time . My bad times are around 4 p.m. I am starving . GRRRRR its not the band its ME !!! lol   The more I write the more I think.... it is my fault  I'm the one that has to be consistant ... but the thing is I can't eat 3 ozs. of meat.... I have  pain why is that ? . Another day in the life of .... ~ Cy.... I WILL DO THIS !!  I will figure it out .

 


About Me
29.6
BMI
Surgery
10/18/2006
Surgery Date
Jul 22, 2006
Member Since

Friends 54

Latest Blog 38
Killer Abs , Gluts & Triceps 10 /25 /08
Second Day Of Workout 10 / 22/08
Posting My Workout.... 10 /20 / 08
RETHINKING.....10/16/08
O.K. Whats going ON With This Fickle Band.... 10/12/08

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