cybregrrl

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I honestly can't believe it's been two and half years since my surgery. Time really does fly!

I got on the scales this morning and weighed in at 148. That's down from my highest weight of 450-ish, for a loss of 302 pounds. I have lost six small bales of hay or an average football lineman! 

Alas, I still have the skin to fit that lineman. However, I will be having hernia surgery and either a tummy tuck or lower body lift at the end of the year. Yay! My surgeon estimates approximately 25-30 pounds of excess skin, which should leave me right where I want to be: around 120-125 pounds.

Recently, I had an attack of pancreaitis. I was in the hospital for three days on a saline drip, NPO. Not fun! Be warned: Pancreaitis is a posible complication of gastric bypass surgery. I was letting my diet slip, but boy did my body tell me in no uncertain terms to get back on track.

I found this list on my profile of things I'd like to do when I lost weight:

Run up a flight of steps without being out of breath.
*I can quickly walk up two flights of steps without being out of breath.

Shop in any regular-sized clothing and shoe store.
*I can!

Buy a pair of tall boots.
*I have this gorgeous pair of tall boots that make my legs look fabulous!

Buy a designer cocktail dress.
*I don't have a designer cocktail dress yet, but I do have a couple of very nice dresses.

Learn to ballroom dance.
*Taking salsa classes this summer.

Finally get a stamp in my passport and fit comfortably in the airplane seat while doing it.
*I can fit in the airplane seat, but no international trips yet.

Cross my legs.
*Crossed as I'm typing this.

Go hiking and camping again.
*No camping trips yet, but a few excursions with friends.

Learn how to kayak.
*Not yet.

I'm told pantyhose can be comfortable, I'd like to find out if that's true.
*I still don't like pantyhose, but I'm amazed at how easy they are to put on now!

Borrow my mom's and sister's clothes. Watch out!
*Mom borrows clothes from me. Sis has gained weight and lent me her smaller clothes.

Finally feel comfortable on stage so I can take up that lounge singer act I've been planning.
*I sing karaoke two nights a week and have been asked to audition for a couple of bands!


I am wearing size 8 and 10 pants, mostly Medium tops and dresses (depending on the fit) and size 7 shoes. Men call me 'hot' and 'sexy'!

The attention from the guys is the craziest. Having been a big girl all of my life, it's not something I'm accustomed to. But I like it!

I'm religious about my vitamins. I get my protein in - although I still supplement with a protein shake several days a week. I eat about a cup of food at a sitting. I'm always drinking water or decaf iced tea. I have a few alcoholic drinks a week and I do have sweets, in moderation.

I feel that I'm much more in control of my life and my food since surgery. I'll forever be grateful to the help of my surgeon, my nutritionist and my therapist for giving me the tools to succeed.

My therapist fired me last year. She told me I had 'excellent coping mechanisms' and was 'normal'. So, I've been flying solo ever since and doing well.

I've posted a few pics of me from the last six months.

If you're considering surgery, please do your research on the procedure, the complications/side effects, your surgeon and your hospital. Also make sure your general practitioner is on-board or find another who is willing to be part of the program.

I'm glad I did this and I've no regrets!

Keep the faith!

Today is the anniversary of my surgery with Dr. Pirrillo!

It seems like the last twelve months have just flown by and I'm really amazed that I've lost 145 lbs in that time and am sitting pretty at 175, as of yesterday. I still have another 35 pounds to lose to get to my pre-plastics goal weight, but I knew, realistically, that I wouldn't reach that goal in a year. My expectation (and hope) is that I'll reach my pre-plastics goal weight within the next 3-6 months. Then I have to maintain that weight for about six months before getting plastic surgery.

I can't say my skin issues are really bad, but my panni is still an issue and the rashes are horrible. My inner thighs are just saggy and wrinkly and my upper arms just need some rigid support so that I can glide like a bird. Although I had hopes that my chin/neck area would be ok, I've got a lovely wattle that is just begging to be tucked - or I could be a new kind of pelican.

I never realized just how BIG my boobs are. I've got 36DDDs on a 5'2" body! The stores around here don't carry 36DDD and I'm really not big on buying a bra I've never tried online. (The same can be said about shoes, too.) As I really don't like having a big bosom, I'm seriously considering a reduction when the time comes.

I eat between 800 - 1000 calories a day, depending on where I'm at with my female cycle. For a few days before and during my period, I am a freaking bottomless pit. Well... not really, but it certainly seems like it. The rest of the time, it's a cycle of decreasing my calories back to 800 and then a gradual increase to 1000. I tend to have no appetite the week after my cycle and normally strive to get my protein in.

I've taken the 'moderation in all things' approach and don't deny myself any foods or treat anything as 'evil'. That being said, my 'indulgences' are usually no more than a few bites before my tummy says 'enough'. Once, I ate a whole slice of key lime pie and within 30 minutes I had a sugar crash that had me asleep for nine hours. Needless to say, I haven't done that again.

I've gone from a size 26-28 to a size 12 (depending on the vanity sizing) and am wearing large and medium tops (mediums if they fit over my boobs). My shoe size has gone from 8 1/2 EEE to 7 - 7 1/2 M and my bras from 42D to 36DDD. The rings I used to wear were size 10 for my ring finger, now a size 7 is loose.

I have so much more energy! I take the stairs at a jog, park further away and enjoy the walk, and I can keep up with, and sometimes leave behind, my friends when we're out and about.

Today, I'm going shopping for the first pair of calf-high boots I've ever owned! I'm so excited. This past week, I bought some pants from Victoria's Secret and they FIT!!! I never imagined I'd be buying ANYTHING but cosmetics from that store. I even share clothes with my mother!!!

I'm kinda seeing someone, but it's not 'official' at this time. I don't know if I want it to be 'official' or just stay a casual friendship. He's a good deal younger than I am - I never thought that I would be a cougar!!! I will say that sex is MUCH better at a smaller size!

I have both a full-time and a part-time job and still have the energy to go out and about with my friends. It's so nice to have energy to do things!

A week ago, a co-worker who left my department just before I had surgery was in the office for a project. He came up and introduced himself to me as if we'd never met! It was SO strange to have someone not recognize me!!! Strange in a good way!

People call me 'skinny' and say I'm getting too thin. That's when I tell them that at 5'2" I should weigh about 126 lbs and that I'm nowhere near that weight.

The one thing that I'm really struggling with is being around other MO people. It's not THEM, it's ME. I so vividly remember being that big and how miserable I was, that being around them brings those memories back in full force. Those painful memories are what make me uncomfortable.

I do NOT urge weight loss surgery on people, but when asked I do let people know that this is the best thing I've ever done for myself. At least a couple of times a week, I recomment OH to someone. I tell them that this is a support group for people losing weight, with or without surgery. Everyone here knows the struggles we go through being MO.

Thanks to all the wonderful people on OH for your support. Reading what y'all have gone through helped me prepare myself for my own journey. I've laughed and cried with you and gained strength for my own issues.

A total loss of 150 pounds since surgery!!!!

I'm eight days shy of eleven months post-op. In that time, I have gone from a size 26/28, tops and bottoms, to  very baggy size 14 pants and (mostly) medium  tops, with a few large tops mixed in. My bra size was a 42D and I now wear a 36DDD. My shoe collection has been decimated, as I've moved from an 8 1/2 EEE to a 7M or 71/2M, depending on the fit. My ring finger used to take a size 10, now my size 7 ring is loose. I now own, AND FIT, a size SMALL Anne Taylor robe. I have this gorgeous silver necklace, 22" wide herringbone, that used to be too tight. Now it's so loose, it doesn't fit right.

I recently went shopping with my mom at her favorite store. While she was shopping in earnest, I wasn't really doing more than browsing, until I saw this gorgeous little coat. Now, I looked at it and wished they had it in my size... Oh, what a familiar plaint! But then, I realized that they MIGHT have my size, so I looked. Lo and behold, they had both a large and a small! I took the large and tried it on and it not only fit, it looked damn good!  It's a cute little double-breasted number with belled cuffs, made out of winter white polartek. There's enough room for wearing over a sweater. Needless to say, I grabbed it! I'll take some pics of me in it, once I get it scotch-guarded at the drycleaners.

I've developed a couple of small hernias in the past few months, so my workouts have been sidelined. I still take the stairs and walk, but my 'torture sessions' with my trainer are at an end until I get my tummy tuck. I went to my PCP mid-August for a rash exam, for documentation purposes. My blood pressure was 127/75! The high blood pressure was the last of my co-morbidities to be 'cured' with surgery. This is the first time in a long, long time that my blood pressure was in the normal range, especially the diastolic number.

I'm kinda seeing someone. It's not 'official', but we're definitely enjoying each other's company. He's a close friend who admitted he'd been wanting 'more' for about nine months. He finally acted on his impulses and I didn't slap him down. *wink, wink* It's nice to have someone showing some interest.. This guy had RNY about two years before me, and I've known him before and after. He's my own personal support group and lets me talk about the 'weirdness' of it all ad nauseum and who truly understands - like y'all understand.

I've grown very restless with my job. It seems I was more willing to put up with bullshite and poor treatment post-op than I am now. While I've not quit my job, I'm definitely exploring my options. I love how much more self-confidence and self-esteem I've developed. I wasn't an insecure wallflower before surgery, but I've definitely relaxed more into the attitude. I can't tell you how many times I was practically offered a job in a phone interview, only to have it mysteriously filled when I would come in for the face-to-face meeting. I no longer have that dread.

Eating is fun, but I've found myself falling into some old eating patterns. Now that I've recognized what I'm doing, I'm trying to figure out how to change those patterns into something healthier. I know that the unhappiness I have with my job only adds to the desire to fall into a comfortable habit.

I love my decision to have surgery. The change in energy levels, the 'normal' size, the growth in myself, the loss of all of my co-morbidities. All of it adds up to one big 'Hell yeah!' when asked if I'd do this again. The bonus, to me, is that I did this for the right reason: Me.

Cy

Hi y'all! Just checking in and letting y'all know how things are going for me.

I'm sitting at 186 and firmly wearing a size 14 pants and large tops. Yay! To date, I have lost 133 pounds since surgery. I have lost one adult female! I am officially smaller than my sister for the first time in my life - or hers! Sis is very happy for me, but unhappy for herself and has taken steps to lose weight. I'm glad that sis is taking my success as an impetus to get her own diet in order.

I'm working out 3-4 days a week, spending two of those days with a personal trainer. I've noticed more definition in my legs, arms and shoulders and my abdomen is starting to take some shape besides round. The skin issues I have in my arms, thighs and panni, while still bad, are improving a little. I just gotta say it:   I HAVE MUSCLES!!!

Currently, I eat between 1/3 - 1/2 cup of food at a sitting and still drink a SF CIB every morning. I am able to eat pretty much anything I want and I exersize moderation in my choices. However, if I want something, I won't deny myself. One thing I can definitely say about my surgery journey: I do not feel deprived, cheated or feel that I can never eat certain foods again. Sodas and sweet tea will not cross my lips again, but that's about the only items that are permanently on my no-no list.

I do dump on too much fat and/or too much sugar, but not consistently on the same items or the same amounts. Some days, one bite is too much. This surgery has helped me learn how to listen to my body. I must say... I'm becoming a pretty darn good listener! ;)

This past week, I was pretty crappy about taking my vitamins, but I'm usually pretty consistent. I've already identified where I went wrong last week and have taken steps to get back on schedule with my vitamins. I take two B125, two iron, two Vitamin D3 2000 i.u., and two calcium a day. I still take a nexium every day; Doc was trying to wean me off of it, but when I go a day without it I have tummy pains, so I'm still taking it.

I thought it would be harder to adjust to surgery and my new way of eating. Yes, I've had to make changes in my choices and find healthier alternatives to the foods I love, but it hasn't been as difficult as I believed it would.

I find that I'm hungrier on the days that I work out. When I meet my nutritionist this month, we'll be discussing possibly adding more calories/protein on the days I work out. My weight loss has slowed a little, too. However, I chalk that up to my working out and adding muscle.

At this point, my pre-plastics goal weight is going to be around 140-145. I figure about 15 lbs of excess skin removed will put me right where I want to be. So, I 'only' have to lose another 40-45 lbs and maintain for six months. That goal seems so much more attainable today than eight months ago.

For those of you who are newly post-op, you're going through the hardest part right now. While the time seems pretty long now between food stages and it is hard getting in all of the fluids and proteins, things get easier as you go. 

Keep the faith!

Since my last entry, I've JUST moved into a new house, started a program at the gym this month and am down to 190. I wear size Large tops and dresses and size 16 pants. OMG! I can wear a size 14 'magic shaping' bathing suit!!! I don't like the way my thighs look, but they still look better than they did.

I eat about 1/3-1/2 cup of food at a time, 4-5 times a day and a protein shake for breakfast. I'm pretty good about my vitamins - usually taking them five of seven days. What can I say? Sometimes I forget one set or the other. I think it all averages out, because I'm still pretty consistent. I drink about 96 oz of water/non-caffeine/carbonated fluids a day. Sometimes I'll have a glass of unsweet iced tea, but it's an occasional thing, not an everyday thing.

I'm exercising 3-4 days a week. The move has been very physical and tiring, so I've slacked off to 2-3 days a week for the last couple of weeks, but I'm fixing that. I am noticing that I'm firming up and not quite as flabby-floppy in the arms. I know exercise won't fix everything, but I'll have a hot body when I have my plastics. I know I'll need the LBL and a boob lift. I'm not sure if I'll do breast implants or just a lift. That will have to wait for my consult.

I've done research into brachioplasty (arm plastics) and it's now done as an out-patient procedure - so no hospital fees. The way the lift is done, they do lipo and skin excision, so there is some contouring done. As a bonus: the excised skin usually includes the hairy pit area! No more pit shaving! *happy dance* It takes a while for the swelling to go down and see the final results, but the immediate lack of skin should seem like a miracle.

Life has been busy. I've been noticing more interest from the boys I meet and people just seem friendlier - maybe it's me. Many people comment that I'm always smiling and happy. I just feel so gosh-darned GOOD! Life is still life, but I'm taking things in stride. 

I went to the local amusement park last weekend with my sister, her fiance and six of my friends. Yeah, a big group! After four hours, they all were tired out and I was ready to close the park down. It was a blast!

I was nervous when in line for the first ride. The last time I was there, I didn't fit in the seat and had to get off. This time around, I not only fit, I had room to spare and they had to TIGHTEN my harness! :o Needless to say, I wanted to ride everything there just to see if my tushie fit.

I need to update my photos, but I have to find my camera first! Perhaps in the next week or two, I'll be able to lay my hands on the box that holds my camera and can upload a few new pics and a new avatar.

This was one of the best decisions I have ever made for myself. I have no regrets for not doing it sooner because my head was not in the right place. 

Until my next update, keep the faith!

I can't believe that seven months have already gone by! Seven months ago, I weighed 319 pounds. Today, I stepped on the scale and weighed 193. That's a total loss of 126 pounds. Wow! I've lost my mother!!!

Gone are all signs of my sleep apnea, high blood pressure, edema, GERD, IBS, stress incontinence, even my periods have gotten better. I've got so much more energy and stamina that I sometimes can't keep still.  It's like I have happy feet all the time.

I've hired a personal trainer and joined a gym. While I think my trainer, Braze, is trying to kill me, I won't let him succeed. I've come to far to get taken out now!

I'm wearing Large shirts and am between 16s and 18s in pants, depending on the fit. For the first time I can remember, my legs and butt are smaller than my sister's, although my belly is still bigger. (But not for too much longer!)

I just came back from a road trip to Charleston to see my Dad and Stepmonster. When I got out of my car, Dad's jaw just dropped. He's not seen me in several years - back when I weighed over 400 pounds - and I'm literally half the woman I was. During my trip, I also went out with some old friends and spent the entire Saturday walking around downtown Charleston. I wasn't sweating like a stuck pig, huffing and puffing or needing to sit down every five minutes. After hours and HOURS of walking, an old injury in my hip started acting up and I needed to stop. However, it wasn't because I was too FAT to do this stuff!

In a couple of weeks, we're going to the local amusement park. I'm looking forward to fitting in the rides and having a good time walking around.

I've had stalls, one lasting over a month. I've had food issues. I've made less-than-wise food choices and paid the price.

I can honestly say if I never lost another pound, I'm grateful for my surgery and what it has given back to me; things I never realized I'd lost. Every day, I amaze myself with what I can do.

Hi, y'all! Well, I'm sitting at six months postop and am at 198 lbs. That's a total weight loss of 121 pounds since surgery. Yay me! I'm wearing loose size 18 pants or tight size 16s and my tops are either XL or L, depending on the cut. I'm in ONEderland! Finally!

During most of March and April, I was in a stall. Yep, me, in a dreaded stall. Let me tell y'all, It does end. I went off fluid pills and cut back on my fluid intake and it wreaked havoc on my system. I faithfully kept with the program and my body finally got adjusted to the lack of additional fluid help. Since going off of the fluid pills, I've had two menstrual cycles and haven't gained any water weight AND my daily water retention is almost non-existent. Yay!

LadyLithia's explanations of stalls, an analogy using cheese, is an excellent descriptive of what goes on during those 'dreaded' stalls. I lost two sizes during my stall experience, so I have to agree with Ms. L.

I'm eating between 2-4 oz at a time (roughly 1/4 - 1/2 cup), 5-6 times a day, and getting my vitamins in. This week, I joined a gym and will be seeing some results soon; I really gotta work on my endurance.  I dump - on sugar. At six months out, I found that out the hard way. I can have a bite or three of something sweet, but anymore than that and I'm dumping hard. Needless to say, I don't push my limits on that now.

I'm no longer the fattest person in my family! That's gonna take a while to wrap my head around. My sis and my next oldest cousin are now both bigger than me. Sis doesn't have an issue with it; she's taking it as an impetus to get her own diet back in order. Cousin ACTS like she's happy for me, but I wonder sometimes. Cousin gets her nose out of joint for the least little thing and this isn't little.

As much as I'd like to be dating and have a boyfriend/lover, I really am uncomfortable with the skin issues I have now. My panni hangs lower than ever (below my crotch), my thighs look like twin shar-peis and my arms could give me flight or, at the least, gliding opportunities. Fortunately, I found out that my insurance doesn't really give a hard time about plastics as long as you document problems. I am documenting with my PCP, so I'm hoping insurance will cover most, if not all, of my plastics. 

My family and friends have been soooooo supportive of what I'm doing. I'm not having to deal with food police or people asking if I can eat this or that. My eating habits have so changed, that no one questions my choices. Mom loves taking me shopping and buying me clothes. 

Yesterday, I bought my first piece of clothing from the MISSES section of Dress Barn! Woooo! It's a cute little top that I'm going to wear to work today. I'm so excited! 

My life has stayed the same in many respects. I am the one who is changing. I'm more active, more outgoing, have more energy and more desire to be social. Being as big as I was, I didn't want to be an object of ridicule and that's how I felt when I went out in public. People used to look at me because I was FAT, now they look at me because I'm pretty darned cute. :D

If I never lost another pound, I can honestly say I love my Fobi and have no regrets about having surgery. I don't even regret waiting so long to have it. In my mind, I know that I wasn't ready mentally or physically for surgery until now.

In order to refine and define theoretical weights, researchers added frame size as a factor. The sizes are categorized into three categories:- Small frame, medium frame and large frame. The reason for this is that obviously bone structures vary in size and density from person to person. Equally obviously men and women have different structures. Bone mass and muscle mass all play a part in determining your optimal weight. Large boned people. There are two simple methods of determining frame size:- Measuring the circumference of your wrist. This is by far the most straight forward. Measuring the breadth of your elbow. This is a little more complex but provides a greater results range for the purposes of accuracy. In order to do this:- Stand up. Extend your arm forward so that it is horizontal and parallel to the ground. Turn your hand so your palm is uppermost. Bend your elbow so your forearm is at 90º to the ground. Use the forefinger and thumb of your other hand to locate the narrow part of your elbow joint. Use your same forefinger and thumb as a guage to determine your elbow breadth by measuring the gap between them with with a ruler or tape measure. Compare the value with the tables below.
Female Wrist Measurements   Height less than 5' 2" (Less than 155cms) Height 5' 2" - 5' 5" (155cms - 163cms) Height more than 5' 5" (More than 163cms) Small Less than 5.5" (140mm) Less than 6.0" (152mm) Less than 6.25" (159mm) Medium 5.5" - 5.75" (140 - 146mm) 6" - 6.25" (152 - 159mms) 6.25" - 6.5" (159 - 165mm) Large More than 5.75" (146mm) More than 6.25" (159mm) More than 6.5" (165mm) Female Elbow Measurements Medium Frame (If your elbow breadth is less than those in the table for a specific height, you are small framed. Similarly, if your elbow breadth is bigger than those in the table, you are large framed) Height Ft and In Elbow Breadth Inches Height cms Elbow Breadth mm 4' 10" - 4' 11" 21/4" - 21/2" 146 - 148 57 - 64 5' 0" - 5' 3" 21/4" - 21/2" 150 - 158 57 - 64 5' 4" - 5' 7" 23/8" - 25/8" 160 - 168 60 - 67 5' 8" - 5' 11" 23/8" - 25/8" 170 - 178 60 - 67 6' 0" - 6' 4" 21/2" - 23/4" 180 - 190 63 - 70
Male Wrist Measurements   Height more than 5' 5" (More than 163cms) Small 5.5" - 6.5" (140 - 165mm) Medium 6.5" - 7.5" (165 - 191mm) Large More than 7.5" (191mm) Male Elbow Measurements Medium Frame Height Ft and In Elbow Breadth Inches Height cms Elbow Breadth mm 5' 2" - 5' 3" 21/2" - 27/8" 155 - 158 64 - 73 5' 4" - 5' 7" 25/8" - 27/8" 160 - 168 67 - 73 5' 8" - 5' 11" 23/4" - 3" 170 - 178 70 - 75 6' 0" - 6' 3" 23/4" - 31/8" 180 - 188 70 - 79 6' 4" - 6' 7" 27/8" - 31/4" 190 - 198 73 - 83

I had surgery because my joints were aching, my back was killing me, I was having labored breathing, sleep apnea, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, my edema was becoming much worse (I believe I was borderline lymphedemic), GERD, IBS and a few other acronyms I've forgotten. I've had undiagnosed sleep apnea for so long, I can't tell you the last time I dreamed.

Now, five months out and down 100 lbs, my back still hurts, but differently. The pain is not constant or overwhelming; it just hurts. My joints don't ache, my breathing is so much easier for everything, I no longer have sleep apnea, my blood pressure was 138/80 last week, my GERD is cured, my IBS is nonexistent and I feel really, really good.

I'm absolutely THRILLED with my results and I know that I'm still going to lose more. 

The batwing arms, the saggy boobs, the wrinkled belly, the huge panni and the melted-wax thighs are incidental. I'll have plastics as I can afford them. Anyone who wants to see me naked better be more interested in ME than my excess skin.

In the big picture, what's a little excess skin?

Your weight loss =

1 pound = a Guinea Pig
1.5 pounds = a dozen Krispy Kreme glazed donuts
2 pounds = a rack of baby back ribs
3 pounds = an average human brain
4 pounds = an ostrich egg
5 pounds = a Chihuahua
6 pounds = a human skin
7.5 pounds = an average newborn
8 pounds = a human head
10 pounds= chemical additives an American consumes each year
11 pounds = an average housecat
12 pounds = a Bald Eagle
15 pounds = 10 dozen large eggs
16 pounds = a sperm whale's brain
20 pounds = an automobile tire
23 pounds = amount of pizza an average American eats in a year
24 pounds = a 3-gallon tub of super premium ice cream
25 pounds = an average 2 year old
30 pounds = amount of cheese an average American eats in a year
33 pounds = a cinder block
36 pounds = a mid-size microwave
40 pounds = a 5-gallon bottle of water or an average human leg
44 pounds = an elephant's heart
50 pounds = a small bale of hay
55 pounds = a 5000 BTU air conditioner
60 pounds = an elephant's penis
66 pounds = fats and oils an average American eats in a year
70 pounds = an Irish Setter
77 pounds = a gold brick
80 pounds = the World's Largest Ball of Tape
90 pounds = a newborn calf
100 pounds = a 2 month old horse
111 pounds = red meat an average American eats in a year
117 pounds = an average fashion model (and she's 5'11")
118 pounds = the complete Encyclopedia Britannica
120 pounds = amount of trash you throw away in a month
130 pounds = a newborn giraffe
138 pounds = potatoes an average American eats in a year
140 pounds = refined sugar an average American eats in a year
144 pounds = an average adult woman (and she's 5'4")
150 pounds = the complete Oxford English Dictionary
187 pounds = an average adult man
200 pounds = 2 Bloodhounds
235 pounds = Arnold Schwarzenegger
300 pounds = an average football lineman
400 pounds = a Welsh pony

For example, a loss of 128 pounds means you've lost almost a newborn giraffe or:
(10) dozen large eggs
(4) dozen Krispy Kreme glazed donuts
(2) Chihuahuas
(2) Guinea pigs
(1) elephant penis
(1) average 2-year-old
(1) human head
(1) rack baby back ribs