Praying for the end of the suffering.

Jun 04, 2010

Well, it's been about 2 1/2 years since i had my Lapband surgery.  I think i have felt evey emotion one can feel in my position.  I was excited in the begining.  I started a journey that at first seemed to be the right path.  i lost 40 pounds right out the gate.  I loved it.  Then the hubby came home from his deployment and things just got better. He saw the beginings of a new me and loved the confidence and happiness that i had gained.  Then of course we got pregnant.  After a few short weeks of soon to be mommy bliss i had a miscarriage. We were both devastated.  i struggled with the loss for some time.  Life carried on and i got back on track with my weight loss.  My first Thanksgiving with the lapband was an interesting one.  i had just had a fill a few days before and was feeling really tight.  Mashed potatoes were getting stuck.  Not a fun feeling.  i stuck it out for another 2 weeks. Then of course had an incedent with a peice of shrimp and ended up in the emergency room.  Eventually the shrimp worked it's way down but not before me finding out that i was pregnant once again.   What was it with my birthcontrol?  i had fluid removed and carried a beautiful baby girl full term.  All the while losing weight.  in january of this year i had a fill and all was great.  Little did i know that by mid march i would be crying my eyes out with my head in the toilet every meal.   The pain was horrible.  i couldn't get through a meal without pain, tear and a horrible hate of food.   Eventually i had to go under floro and fluid was remove.  At the time Dr Downey spoke to me about having revision surgery to RNY.  At this point the hubby and i had been discuss the option for a couple of weeks.  So I agreed and the wheels were set in motion. I spoke with Dr Reilly and he agreed with the decision for a revision.  So i had a psych eval- something I didnt have with my first surgery.  I also got new birth control and a second opinion from my PCM.   He wanted to check my gall bladder.  Turns out my gall bladder isn't working right.  I never would have guessed.  So now what happens?  

i saw Dr Michel yesterday and he pland to doulbe check the floro and the HIDA scan ( gall baldder thingy) consult with another surgeon in the clinic and then plan a surgery date.  Dr Reilly quoted me an August possibly even September time frame.  Dr  Michel thinks he can get me in By July at the latest August.  i guess we will see.  I am ready for the pain and vomiting to stop.  I am ready to lose this weight and get back on track to reach my goal. I am ready to really be able to live again.  I'm just ready. And Praying.  

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