Goal??

Dec 06, 2009

How do you know when you have reached your goal when it seemed so unobtainable for so long?  What was my goal to begin with: a number on the scale? a certain size? feeling better? feeling healthy? looking good? 

People I know are starting to tell me I am getting too thin.  Is there such a thing?  Are they sincere or insecure?  Am I honest with myself or insecure?  I am 5ft 3inches tall.  I weigh 130 pounds, officially I have lost 1/2 my self, but have GAINED so much!!  I wear a size 4.  How is that possible??  I bought a size 2 pair of jeans that I am comfortably wearing right now.  I struggle with eating.  I am hungry within 30 minutes after eating, but I only eat a small amount at a time.  I try to get my protein in.  I am not a fan of protein shakes, but I think I need to be.  I can eat mostly anything except bread.  Bread will make my insides blow up and I would just rather not deal with that.  I don't watch my carb intake like I did immediately after surgery.  I keep a very close eye on protein.

I wake up everyday scared that when I pass by the mirror I will see my "old self" staring back at me.  I have not wrapped my head around all this weight loss.  It plays a lot of head games with me.  Right now, I am happy with myself.  Yeah, the skin issues are annoying.  But with a good bra and a pair of "suck it in" panties, I actually look good.  Do I feel like spending $15,000.00 to get the skin removed and be in pain for at least 6 weeks?  NO! Not at this time anyway.  Maybe someday.  I have girls that need to go to college and a dream house to build; things that are more important than vanity.  My husband is amazed with me, and I enjoy it.  He deserves it.  Last night my daughter asked him what he was staring at, and he said "Your mom's butt".  I told her that is a VERY GOOD thing that your dad stills loves me after 15 years.  Not many people have that now a days. 

Good luck to those of you who read this.  If you are considering weight loss surgery--Go for it.  You deserve it.  Buckle your seat belt and hold on; you're in for the ride of your life!  God bless.

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About Me
PA
Location
20.4
BMI
DS
Surgery
03/17/2009
Surgery Date
Oct 16, 2007
Member Since

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