Finally have Surgery DATE.... JULY 14

Apr 18, 2015

hello everyone, just wanted to share my news...I have my surgery date ...July 14th. I don't know what time yet, they will call with details. Best part is I only need to be on OPTIFAST for 1 week!  Excited, nervous and anxiously awaiting the surgery...I am so ready to move on with this. 

 

 

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Meeting Surgeon April 16. 15 @ 10:15 AM in Guelph

Apr 04, 2015

Ok folks this is getting real.....have my date to meet the surgeon....they told me to bring money to pay for optifast!! YIKES...... Am I really doing this??

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Waiting for call to meet Surgeon

Mar 22, 2015

Hey Everyone, I thought I would update on where I am. It has been a slow process for me. I have taken extra time to get my head in the game. I am almost at the end of the road here. I had my post op nutrition class last week and now I am awaiting the call with the date to meet the surgeon. I am excited and nervous all at the same time. It's becoming real for me and I have had moments and hours, well sometimes days in the last year where my anxiety and cold feet have taken over and I almost talked myself out of this surgery.  However every time I come back to the scientific medical aspect of WLS. It has been tested, tried and proven to work.  It is covered my OHIP so OHIP has endorsed it.   I have this tool and expertise to help me and if I refuse it or talk myself out of it what does that mean?  I guess it would mean I am not ready.  I am ready...I have been ready for a long time...so no more looking back , no more debating it in my head... I have made the choice and it is onward and upward ( well downward in pounds)  from here on out....

Hoping everyone has a great day .... Darlene 

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Today I bury fear and get my head in the game

Oct 15, 2014

Oct.15, 2014.

Where am I in the process? Well I have done ALL the required tests. I have met the nurse 2 times, SW 2 times and they both told me I don't need to see them again. I met with the internist Dr Agarwal and although he did not say much he did not order other tests or anything so I assume he past me. I have met with the nutritionist 2 times and I am scheduled to see her again on Nov. 19.

I have been struggling a bit with what is known as the last meal syndrome.  The stress of waiting for surgery is hard. SO when a holiday or a celebration comes up I think in my head, " I may not EVER be able to eat this again, so I better eat it now."  I have been doing a lot of soul searching on this and I came to the realization this week end that I am scared. I am scared to lose this weight and in some ways I am self sabotaging myself. I sat down and thought about my fears. I listed them..

 

1. Fear of the unknown ( I have never been a "normal" weight, it is all going to be new to me)

2. How will my relationships change?  ( I know relationships with partners and others can change, I am fearful of this)

3. Will I ever be able to enjoy food and celebrate with family and society were food is such a huge part of our culture?

4. I am afraid of the "power" that will come when I am no longer hindered by weight and can focus completely on  my career  ( I know deep)

5. I am scared of the complications that may happen after wards 

6. I am scared of the surgery itself and if I will even WAKE up ( I know again normal) 

 

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So after I made this list It made sense to me why I was in ways not getting my head in the game. Until I can face these fears and work through them I am going to be hesitant. With that said though I have made what I believe is an attitude adjustment this past week end. It came from inspiration from members on the OH board and also a  co-worker who just had WLS who I respect.  They basically told me if I really want this I need to "get my head in the game" and do it now. OR don't do it. Sh*t or get off the pot..

 

 

For me and I assume for many people who find themselves obese and contemplating WLS our heads more so than our tummys have contributed to unhealthy and excessive eating. For me whenever I have lost weight it is more a head thing...self talk...thinking I WANT something to eat in my head, when my belly may actually still be full. Not knowing when to turn the head hunger off or even how to has be a challenge...I have been working through a work book...."food and feelings" and it is answered a lot of my questions as to why I eat when I am happy, sad, angry, lonely...I just eat all the time..for me feelings and food are interconnected and this needs to change....I need to adopt the mission statement that I  eat to live...not live to eat. 

 

When I am told to get my head in the game....it is really exactly what I need to do. SO Is my head in the GAME?  Guess what...it has to be...I am going to tell myself YES it is in the game even if it is not....someone has to tell my head what to think HAHA may as well be me......FAKE it till I make it kinda thinking....I am in...and this blog today is going to serve as a reminder of why I am in and why I may have days I doubt.

                                            THE FEARS  

* I have been working on them. It is natural to be afraid of the unknown....I know this...I need to trust in the process and go for it or I will never live my desired life and that  would be tragic.

* As for who I will become and how my professional relationships and personal relationships will change...I need to be brave and again have faith in the process.

* Fear has held me back my whole life....I am not going to allow Fear to Sabotage me any longer. I need to be pushed out of my comfort zone and off my lazyboy so I can live the life I was intended too. 

* Today I bury fear and get my head in the GAME!!! Just watch me...

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Still waiting

May 24, 2014

Good Sunday morning everyone,

Today is my 53rd birthday. I woke up feeling well rested thanks to my new CPAP machine. If nothing else this process has helped me become aware of some underlying health issues that I may not have been aware of.

I am enjoying reading the message boards and really learning a lot about the process.

I am scheduled to see the nurse at Guelph General on June 3rd and have all my tests done and will pick them up next week at my family doctor's office.

I still have days when I question if this is the right thing to do, but I am sure that is normal.

wishing everyone a great day.

 

Darlene :)

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Pre Surgery lifestyle changes

Apr 25, 2014

Today is the day I begin to change my lifestyle slowly but surely. I attended the orientation session at the Guelph bariatric Clinic on Thursday April 24.14. The very next day Friday April 25.14  I called and I have my appointments set with the Nurse, Social Worker and Dietician for June 3 and 16.  I am realizing that this is going to be a huge change. I have like many of you been on numerous diets and have had success many times. However I have never been able to reach my ultimate goal...and begin to gain back after the losing when my body begins to feel comfortable... and every time I gain back I add another 20 pounds. I am at my highest weight right now , 285 pounds. I am very uncomfortable in my own body. I am having issues with osteoarthritis and high blood pressure, I feel like  I am 90 years old some days. Something has to change and I guess it has to be me.

So the last two days I been exploring this website and I have found the food journal and today I will begin tracking my food and "practicing" for Post Op...chewing my food well, slow eating.  I am giving up all carbonated drinks as of today. I am very motivated to have this surgery for one reason only,  HEALTH and overall WELLNESS....physically and mentally.

And So it begins again......

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Apr 24, 2014
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