Beginning a new me

Oct 27, 2007

My NEW Hair-Do! I'm just sick of it being so stringy and thin from surgery so I CHOPPED it all off! I can't believe it's this short...I've NEVER had hair this short in my life!






~Four BEAUTIFUL Words~

This time last year, I had just started looking back into weightloss surgery. Eli was 2 years and 9 months old and Brody was 6 months old. I was 26 years old, which is very young to some, but I may as well have been 92. I didn't have energy to play with my boys. I just got tired walking from the kitchen to the livingroom...I was in TERRIBLE pain in the mornings when I would wake up. My feet would just throb. I would sit with Eli on one side of me while holding Brody and I would just CRY my eyes out. I wanted so bad to be the Mommy that both of those little boys deserved, but my weight was in the way. I wanted to get down on the floor with them and play horsee with them...or lion's...or ring around the posey...Something. I wanted to take them to the parks and swing on the swings holding them like the skinny Mommies got to...But I couldn't...I was tooooo big for that! Eli would always say, "C'mon Mommy! Hu-wee pup! Mere! Get me!!!" While I did do my best, and we did have fun, I was EXHAUSTED when all was said and done. My heart just ached...I wanted to have the fun that those skinny Mommies had...I wanted to play with my babies and to run and chase after their little hineys. My boys are my MAIN motivation for having this surgery.

So yesterday, I was going up and down the stairs cuz I was getting clothes from the boys' rooms and would forget one thing or forget another....I was going up and down those stairs like it was nothing and just trying to hurry so I could get these little monsters dressed. I didn't realize it at first, but I had a little shadow...Eli. Suddenly I hear four BEAUTIFUL words come out of Eli's beautiful little mouth, "Mommy, wait for me!"

I haven't really realized it much, but I am a fast moving Mama...Those boys ARE having to keep up with me rather than me with them. I tire them out...not the other way around. I love it! Now, I AM the Mommy I've ALWAYS wanted to be...We have a blast together and I have the energy to play and play and play with these little munchkins. I love them both soooo much! I am sooooo happy that I had the DS...I wouldn't change not one thing.

THANK YOU GOD!!!

Just thought I would share...








~Time for a NEW BRA?~

Do your boobs hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot?
Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Can you throw them over your shoulder
Like a continental soldier?
Do your boobs hang low?

If you can answer YES to any of these questions, then YES, it ***IS*** time for a NEW bra! I got a new see through lace bra the other day...Got the sucker without even trying it on (that was pretty cool!) Well, when I got home, I put it on, looked in the mirror and BURST into tears! Not from crying, but from laughing my butt off! My once perky and firm 'flowers' now look like 27 year old wilted tulips! They were mushed into that bra like no one's business and there were wrinkles in places I didn't even know could crinkle! LOL! It's all good though...It did it's job, it lifted and seperated, and looked flattering...And, even with the wrinkling and crinkling going on in there, I felt sexy in it. Why cry when you can laugh! LOL!




~What is PCOS anyway?~

Thanks to Dr. Marchesini, the DS, and MOST OF ALL, GOD, I believe that I no longer have PCOS. I am claiming it and believing that I have been healed from this affliction. I believe with ALL my heart, that when the time is right, God will bless my family once again with a beautiful healthy baby. I have faith that this WILL happen and I believe it! In Jesus Name!

I didn't know I had PCOS until I was 22 years old. Dan and I were going to wait 2 years after we got married to start trying for a baby. After realizing how deep our love really was, we decided to go ahead and start trying 2 weeks after we were married. So we did. Weeks, months, and a year had passed. We were doing everything you're supposed to do when trying for a baby...Still, nothing. It had become more like a chore on some days. It was DEVISTATING when my period wouldn't come and the pregnancy test came up with one line (not pregnant) instead of two. Each time, I cried and cried. I did my best to hide my feelings, but inside, I was wanting to die.

Having a baby is something I ALWAYS wanted. I wanted to be a Mommy and a Wife. I can remember being nine years old and wanting those two things more than anything.

I finally went to the doctor. First they wanted to test Dan since guys are easier than girls to see who the infertile one is. Well, Dan came back just fine. He actually has a greater sperm count than most men. When he found this out, he puffed his chest out and walked around like he ruled the universe for a day or two. Men! LOL! I was happy that it wasn't a problem with him...But, this meant that it WAS me.

Dan was in the Army at the time. So, finally, I was able to see a civilian doctor and have testing done. One doctor ran some tests on me and told me that I could NEVER concieve a child. That children weren't in my future and that I should think about alternitives such as adpotion. This was one of the WORST moments of my life. I felt so alone and isolated. I just wanted to crawl into a hole and bury myself and just die. Dan had called me after I recieved the news. I was crying to him when I told him what the doctor had said. He, in a still calm voice said, "Darcy, now you LISTEN to me. I married you, not for your ovaries. We WILL have children. Our OWN children. You'll see. Everything will be okay...I PROMISE." Instantly I calmed down and DID believe him when he was saying this to me. One thing Dan has NEVER done is lie to me...So, I KNEW that he believed what he was telling me to be true. I also got prayed for and I believe with all that is in me that GOD touched me.

In the meantime, I went to another doctor. She diagnosed me with PCOS, but said that I COULD have children, just that it was going to be a little harder than most women. But, IT COULD BE DONE. I hang on to her words and believed them.

Things were starting to work out. Now, I just needed Dan to get home from Bosnia so we could start trying for a baby. I lost about 40 pounds while he was gone. I believe that this too helped me. Finally, a period.

Dan came home in April of 2001 and I got pregnant with Eli on August 21st, 2001 - Our second wedding anniversary. I got pregnant with NO drugs, no nothing. Well, except for the healing power of God and the faith I had. I got pregnant the old fashoned natural way. THANK YOU GOD!

Eli Daniel was born, a healthy baby boy on May 13th, 2002.

When the time was right, we started trying for another baby. Weeks, months, and a year had passed again. I got put on Chlomid and nothing happened. I then got put on something else (I forgot what it was called - Sorry) and that STILL didn't work. I was beginning to loose hope again, but kept on having faith that I would get pregnant...I got prayed for again, and a month later, I was pregnant. We tried for 18 months to get pregnant with Brody...But, we finally did. No medicines, no nothing. Just hope and faith and a whole lot of GOD. He is the best medicine there is anyway.

Brody Lee was born, a healthy baby boy, on August 11th, 2004.

I was the happiest Mommy in the world, and I still am. I just can't wait til we have one more baby. But, the things I have learned from my struggle with PCOS is that ALL doctors AREN'T right. Some are, but, some aren't. Dan loves me, no matter what...I believe with ALL THAT I AM, that he will love me til the day I die. I AM a MOMMY. GOD gave me my boys...IN HIS time, not my own. I just needed to increase my faith and hope and believe that He would bless me...And HE did.

So for anyone that has PCOS...There IS hope. You just have to find it in you to believe and have faith.

Since having the DS on July 20th, 2005, I have had very regular periods. No more symptoms of PCOS. Like I said, when the time is right, I KNOW that I will get pregnant again. THIS TIME, I don't think it will take as long as it did. But, IF IT DOES, I'm just going to keep my faith and trust that GOD will bless our family when HIS time is right.

Here is a GREAT link that explains PCOS. I copied some of it and put it in here. But if you wish, go to this site. It is VERY informative and useful.
http://www.4woman.gov/faq/pcos.htm#3

I hope that my story has been a help to you and that somehow you can gain hope through my story. If you ever have any questions about anything or just want to talk about your struggles with PCOS, PLEASE don't hesitate to e-mail me. I would love to talk to you and help you.

God bless you.

What is Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)?
PCOS is a health problem that can affect a woman’s menstrual cycle, fertility, hormones, insulin production, heart, blood vessels, and appearance. Women with PCOS have these characteristics:

high levels of male hormones, also called androgens
an irregular or no menstrual cycle
may or may not have many small cysts in their ovaries. Cysts are fluid-filled sacs.
PCOS is the most common hormonal reproductive problem in women of childbearing age.

How many women have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)?
An estimated five to 10 percent of women of childbearing age have PCOS.

What causes Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)?
No one knows the exact cause of PCOS. Women with PCOS frequently have a mother or sister with PCOS. But there is not yet enough evidence to say there is a genetic link to this disorder. Many women with PCOS have a weight problem. So researchers are looking at the relationship between PCOS and the body’s ability to make insulin. Insulin is a hormone that regulates the change of sugar, starches, and other food into energy for the body’s use or for storage. Since some women with PCOS make too much insulin, it’s possible that the ovaries react by making too many male hormones, called androgens. This can lead to acne, excessive hair growth, weight gain, and ovulation problems.

Why do women with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) have trouble with their menstrual cycle?
The ovaries are two small organs, one on each side of a woman's uterus. A woman's ovaries have follicles, which are tiny sacs filled with liquid that hold the eggs. These sacs are also called cysts. Each month about 20 eggs start to mature, but usually only one becomes dominant. As the one egg grows, the follicle accumulates fluid in it. When that egg matures, the follicle breaks open to release the egg so it can travel through the fallopian tube for fertilization. When the single egg leaves the follicle, ovulation takes place.

In women with PCOS, the ovary doesn't make all of the hormones it needs for any of the eggs to fully mature. They may start to grow and accumulate fluid. But no one egg becomes large enough. Instead, some may remain as cysts. Since no egg matures or is released, ovulation does not occur and the hormone progesterone is not made. Without progesterone, a woman’s menstrual cycle is irregular or absent. Also, the cysts produce male hormones, which continue to prevent ovulation.




May 2006 ~ MINUS 98 Pounds!




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I found out June 14th that I am PREGNANT!!! WOW, what a shocker!!! I am soooo happy and thrilled! I still can't believe that I am actually going to be having another little Heaven sent little blessing! I am just thrilled! My due date is February 14th, 2007...I will probably have the baby a little before then tho as I will be having it C-Section. I already can't wait to hold my little someone in my arms. Boy or Girl, it is a blessing and I will love it with ALL my heart! THANK YOU GOD, for this WONDERFUL little blessing!

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