I've fallen...(my own journal entry from Dec. 2009)

Apr 19, 2010

OK so at some point along the way I have fallen from the grace of my lap-band. At first I didn’t notice the weight coming back up. My love life was suffering, my daughter and her children were suffering and I am the one that picks them up and it just seemed my whole life was a mess. No, It didn’t seem that way, it really was a mess.   My husband and I weren't doing well. I was falling into old habits and I wasn’t able to control my habits and,not to get myself out of the fact that I was partially to blame, My band was in fact too tight and I’m learning that now. I was drinking more. Actually, I wasn’t a drinker before but I learned that I love wine and with that comes food. Things that go down easy is what I was eating. It was easy with nothing getting stuck to have to throw it back up.   Right around surgery time in 2006 my daughter told me she was pregnant with her first child and not married. We got through that and it was livable until our then granddaughter was 9 mos. Old or so and we found out she was pregnant again, this time by the one that couldn’t stay out of trouble. He missed the birth of his son. Then he got arrested and went to prison. More stress for me. My daughter doesn’t drive and has emotional issues that can be out of control. The summer of 2009 was the longest of my life. Now she is in control most of the time.   Relationship wise, I recall now some three and a half years down the road that lap-band and losing weight can hurt that. I heard it and forgot it. Losing weight others notice you are looking good. People that didn’t notice before that you existed. Now you’re starting to look good. You feel good and some of the clothes you buy are looking great on you. All of a sudden your husband is trying to sabotage your efforts. The kids talk about your shrinking butt. Some people are jealous of you. Your weight slows, exercising stops and you start eating things and your weight isn’t going up, but then you stop watching the scale and boom one day you get on 10lbs, then 15 up to 30+ pounds.   I struggled as others have struggled. What are we going to do and how do we stop this? Walking more when it’s nice out and it helped but then the bad weather comes and the exercise wanes. I was still eating the same so the weight had gone up until about Christmas time. Not only did I decide to go back I decided to change Bariatric centers.


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Rotterdam, NY
Nov 16, 2005
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