Emotions are running high

Oct 29, 2010

Two days to go and I am getting very emotional.  I am scared and having the normal second thoughts.  I think I have it even more because I am not extremely obsese.  The doc did not put me on any pre-op diet but I put myself on one by making goals that I thought would help me make the transition easier.  Doing this I have lost about 5 lbs in the last two weeks.  My husband has not been supportive since the beginning and he noticed I was changing my eating habits and now nags at me daily to call it off because I am proving I can do it on my own.  He doesn't realize that "on my own" I can do it for a short time, especially with a strong motivating factor (I want this to be as easy a transition as possible) but do not have what it takes to sustain the effort long-term.

This morning I am wishing I had a strong support person that I could talk to about my nervousness.  I am on the verge of tears and a little worried about "what if"" if complications were to occur.  Do I have everything in order?  I heard about one lady who went into a comma for no apparent reason and was hospitalized for many months.  She is fine now.  If that were to happen it would totally bankrupt me as I am a self pay.  I am sure my husband would leave me since he doesn't want me going through with this anyway.

My bloodwork revealed a Vit D deficiency.  My family doc is putting me on a prescription Vit D.  I already have a B12 deficiency that I take monthly injections for.  I am wondering if I have other vitamin deficiencies and this will only make it worse.

The upper GI discovered a small hiatal hernia which I hope will be repaired during the surgery.  I do experience some reflux ranging from mild to severe depending on when and what I ate, especially at night.  One of my transition goals was to just have a protein shake at night and I found it was good.  My husband wanted to go out to eat a couple of nights ago.  He rarely does this so I jumped at the chance.  I ate a burger and fries (ok, it was a pretty large burger but they are sooo good) and paid for it by feeling miserable all night - not just reflux but uncomfortable by the amount.  WOW what a change.  I have rarely experienced that and looked forward to going back to the shake the next night.

I plan on getting a haircut today along with a mani/pedi.  I will get all the laundry done and house cleaned so I come home ready for recuperation.  I have just a few final things to buy at the grocery store to have my liquids in order.  Gotta go get those sugar free popcycles.

I had a small high school reunion with my girlfriends that I was on the dance team with.  They all looked so good and I was the only one overweight.  I found out one had been my weight but had lapband done 3 years ago with no regrets and she dropped 70 lbs,  This was the deciding factor for me to pursue WLS.  I can't wait to drop my weight and meet up with them again looking as good as they do.
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12 days to go

Oct 20, 2010

Doing well with my goals.  Dr appt today for bloodwork and I am down 3 lbs since the weight loss seminar.  I go back to the dr tomorrow to pick up my UGI orders to schedule the radiology work.  My blood preasure continues to slowly climb, though not to a level to be nervous about.  I hope the surgery helps take it back down.

I am already planning one or two new goals for next week.  The goals for this week are surprisingly easy to keep.

I find myself constantly thinking about the liquid portion of two weeks and worry I will feel bad due to lack of nutrition.  I hate broth!
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First Steps

Oct 18, 2010

It's getting real now.  I am taking the first steps to the final goal.  I have an appt today with the gastro dr so I can set the date for my upper GI.  I have a physical tomorrow and will get the blood work done.

I also set two goals for myself.  I stopped all caffeine so hopefully by surgery I will not feel the craving.  From what I have read, caffeine inhibits or quickly removes some essential nutrients or vitamins, especially B12.  I have also recognized that being in my car is a trigger for eating or having a coke.  My second goal is to no longer eat or drink while in the car, unless it is water.  Even that I am trying to limit just because it seems to fuel that same trigger to want to have something.  Day One down with success...and isn't that what it is about?  One day at a time.
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About Me
TX
Location
25.1
BMI
VSG
Surgery
11/01/2010
Surgery Date
Oct 17, 2010
Member Since

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