Dobbie C.
2 Years!!!!
Sep 22, 2009
09/22/2009 - OMG 2 years have past since I began my journey. I have learned loads about myself.....enought to know that I'm still a work in progress.One of the things I've learned......It's almost always about how I feel. Hunger, cravings, body image, weight fluctuations, etc are (for me) a direct result of what and how I am feeling at a certain time. When I am happy, feeling fulfilled, and content, I don't even think about food; I don't think about my weight or even my loose skin. When I am dissatisfied, upset etc. I am more aware of my imperfections, I think about what I want to eat that day, I get on the scales and wonder about the pound that I didn't have the day before (which usually goes away the next day). It's all about control or lack of. For some reason when I feel out of sorts, I react by trying to control my weight (unfortunately my success rate with that has been dismal). I think that if I can just control this one thing everything else will fall in line. It might be a product of my mom always telling me "If you'd just loose some weight you'd be perfect". This is a such a screwed up way to live my life. Wrestling control of things out of my control thru pounds gained and lost. Thankfully the band and band rules, along with the rules that I set for myself have help me gain the distance to sort thru alot of my emotions before I start the cycle of self destruction that has plagued me in the past. I feel so grateful that I have been given this opportunity to learn to love myself and accept and embrace my many faults instead of continuing with my pattern of self-loathing. I'm not perfect / my life is not perfect....was never meant to be. Food was not meant to be the filling for the many holes in my heart.....love and acceptence was/is. I could always see the beauty in the people and things that surrounded me but never within myself. I would never treat a friend the way I sometimes treat myself. I would never expect family to live and grow within the rigid, unforgiving structure that I set for myself. Whether I knew/know it or not, I am one of God's children.....how did I treat her today?
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About Me
Houma, LA
Location
23.1
BMI
Surgery
09/17/2007
Surgery Date
Feb 15, 2007
Member Since
