Back to blogging, hopefully back on track!

Nov 24, 2012

So I gained bout 100# and am off work do to my mental state. My depression has run away with me and I'm doing all I can to get myself better. I joined a gym, but I hate going there because I am so disgusting. I'm embarrassed and afraid I will run into someone I know especially one of my ex's. I'm still so hurt by them, I just wish I could get over it...them. I want to do more but physically my body gets tired so easy, and my lower back hurts. I am working with my doctor to get my vits back where they belong. I did stop drinking...wish I wouldnt have started. I still feel the urge sometimes, but I fight it. I feel so alone, but I'm not....it's weird. My daughter is a teen now and doesnt listen at all....I have my work cut out for me with her. Like I said though I am surrounded by people, but am so lonely....my problems cant be shared with anyone. Things are hard now, and my weight just adds to my depression and feelings of hopelessness. Someone said to start blogging again, so this was my catch up post. This site can be vicious so I am afraid of posting and getting mean words back. But the support is wonderful, so I will try to take the good with the bad.

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