Pizza, Tacos, Coffee, Ice cream...
Oct 18, 2010
I feel like a roller coaster of emotions. I feel GREAT... I don't feel hungry, but I have to learn to emotionally ignore food. I only have until
Thursday and I will have my post op appointment. I am hoping at that point I can at least to a full liquid diet. Just when I am focusing on my intake, protien, and doing well.... hmmmmmm I smell Pizza!! I could so easily just sit down and eat a piece! But I am not going to I have control... it is just the thought as I watch the family eat. I warm up my broth... and sit down at the table sticking to my limits.
I told my hubby that God must really want me to keep focused, because Tacos and Pizza are some of my favorites. Proudly I have done very well!
This morning the smell of coffee filled the house while the sound of the pot brewing, my tastebuds began to water. OH... I can have coffee, to get me going, just as I have before. The challange.... I can live without the milk, but how am I going to sweeten it? I pour a cup, add some splenda-- take a taste... I despise the after taste... I pour the coffee out-- making a new cup, I start to grab some dry creamer thinking... hmmm maybe I can add just a little. I look at the ingredients...my daughters walk in and say..."Mom... you can't do that no milk products."
Caught, in the action, I retreat. I now try to sweeten the coffee with Stevia.... I take a taste--- hmmmm this might work. I take it into the living room take a few more sips and finally decide I will have to wait for my coffee...
MEETING SOME GOALS
One of my goals was to get thru the surgery with no complications.....this goal is MET!
Another goal was to be a role model for my daughters and sons.... I believe this goal is occuring....
We sat down to dinner and my youngest daughter just finished her drink. ( Caprisun) I told her that it is healthier to drink water and it will fill her up. I told her that sometimes our body feeels hungry, but really it is thirsty-- so drinking water might help her feel full. She finished her taco and then drank a glass of water... she then said.."Mom your right! The water made me full, I don't need to have another taco. The water helped- Mommy I want to be like you and drink lots of water."
TAKING ON CHANGES FOR LIFE
I've decided not to look at the scale, as I do not want to focus on my weight... but be more alert to my healthy lifestyle. It seems that when I look at the scale I only get depressed... Even when I lose weight, I don't really feel an inner excitment.... never have, so I will not focus on the " What if's or I should have's or I could be's of life.." I will be proud of my efforts to have an newlifestyle.
It took me so long to get to this point emotionally.... I am glad for the changes in my life... as I will learn from all of them!
My greatest concerns about this surgery was the opinons... but all is going well. I cried today, when I recieved a card from my grandmother... something so simple... but meaningful. She is PROUD of me... brought tears to my eyes. How I love my family and I want nothing more than thier support.
Occasionally there are comments made or jokes that I take personally, but I realize this is NOT about them... IT IS ABOUT and FOR ME.