I really want this surgery August 29, 2007

Aug 29, 2007

I am so ready for this surgery.  Right now I'm waiting on my husband to be officially retired from the Navy in 2 days.  That is when my doctor changes and I don't have to go to the doctor on the Navy base anymore.  The first thing I'm going to do is get an appointment with my new doctor and get a referral for gastric bypass surgery.  I have checked into it twice before, sadly enough I didn't feel I could miss work to go to all of the required appointments.  I have a home daycare and I don't have anyone else that can stay with the daycare children.  However, there comes a time where you have to put your health first.  Now is that time.  Also, the doctor I saw the second time I went for a consult was rude and horrible.  The friend that went with me still talks about him.  He has since been let go.  Not only did he have a terrible bedside manner, he told me I was too fat for the surgery.  He then told me maybe they could work with me but I was really too fat for it.  I won't let anything get in my way this time.  I am tired of being like this.  I miss the old me.  I've gained over 250 pounds in the past 15 years.  I used to THINK I was fat, I look at pictures and realize how I wasn't fat at all.  Back then I lived.  I would love to enjoy walking again because I enjoy it, not because I have to get from point A to point B, to go to the beach and not feel like a creature.  To play frisbee with my kids or a game of hoops (I can shoot baskets now but don't move so well otherwise.)  I work with young children and don't move around near as well as I would like to.  Getting up and down off of the floor takes alot of effort.  I'm always sweating anymore.  My left foot hurts really bad when I stand on it and when I walk.  My back hurts after I get any type of exercise.  I could go on and on with my lists of problems I have being this way.  It's not fair to my family.  It's not fair to my husband and children or anyone else who loves me.  I know it's not easy to see me so miserable.  Everyone automatically checks to see if I can sit in the chairs when we go places, they know I can't fit into chairs with handles, I can barely fit into booths.  I have been in vehicles where the seat belt wouldn't fit me.  Provisions always need to be made for me.  I can't fly on a plane.  I haven't flown since I flew back from Puerto Rico in January of 1991.  I haven't seen my father since 1992 because I'm too ashamed.  I really want to see him.  I know it hurts my mother to see me like this.  I will close for now, I'm excited about my journey and anxious to get the rest of my life started!! 

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Aug 29, 2007
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I really want this surgery August 29, 2007