DiamondInTheFluff
The last supper...
Sep 21, 2010
So I just had my last meal for a very long time! I start the liquid diet tomorrow. 2 weeks! It's gonna be the longest 2 weeks of my life. I'm hoping to keep my mind off of eating. I find myself obsessing over food and wondering what im gonna eat next. I hate it. I dont allow anything else to dominant my life, nothing else has control over me like food does. Lame. I have to rewire my mind.I guess this is where transfer addictions start to mold! haha. I went my my best friend Emily's tonight and took before pictures and measurements. Some of those pictures will only be for our eyes! haha. Not cute. Emily also went through her closet and gave me 2 trash bags full or size 22/24s. Im in a 28 now and i have a lot of 26s..so I should be good for a while. It's hard to believe that Ill be in those soon. 2 weeks..2 weeks and my life is gonna change so much. I am big bowl of emotions. No more having to wonder, "Am I gonna fit in that chair..is it gonna break?" I cant wait to go on vacation and swim and go to Carowinds. Little things...hell be able to paint my toe nails with out it being a big ordeal. haha Skinny chicks just dont know! ;)
1 comment
My first post...
Sep 19, 2010
Well here I am, after 8 years of trying to get WLS..I am finally having it Oct. 6th. It seems so surreal as Im sure is typical for most people with a surgery date. I almost couldnt speak when she called to scedule it. I actually could have had it a week early but that would have given me 2 days until I start the liquid diet. I wasn't aware that it was gonna happen so fast. I guess thats one of the benefits of being self pay.
After years of insurance fails, my parents finally decided to do this for me. I wish I was better at expressing myself and i could show them how much this means to me and how much what they are doing for me means to me. I couldn't ask for a better support system. Im actually glad it's taken this long, i feel like before I couldnt have handled it, even though I did extensive research, as we do, I still dont think I was mentally prepared for it as a 17 year old!
I honestly still don't feel like it's happening. When i sit and think about how I will look a year from now..it trips me out. I've never been small. I have NO idea what my body is SUPPOSED to look like. Haha. Like I'm a tootsie pop and I get to melt down to my secret yummy center...there I go being a big girl and talking about candy! haha.
Im really excited to start my future, I feel like I haven't even began to start really living. Don't get me wrong, I have had a wonderful, fun life...I just feel like I've put off a lot of things and i'm stuck doing things in my comfort zone. As i gain more weight I do less and less things. I stay surprisingly optimistic and have decent self esteem. I've never lacked in the attention department and was never picked on for being over weight. So I guess you could say I am one of the lucky ones. Most people have told me that they never even knew I had a problem being over weight, that I carried myself well. I mean, what else am I supposed to do? Mope around and be depressed? I made the best of it and had made peace with being a BBW! That doesn't mean that on the inside it didn't bother me. It's weird though, how you know what you are doing to your body and you just keep making it worse. it was like i was getting to the point, where I didn't care anymore and it scared me. I had to do something.
So here i am...having surgery in just a few weeks and I am as nervous as I could possibly be!! :)
2 comments
After years of insurance fails, my parents finally decided to do this for me. I wish I was better at expressing myself and i could show them how much this means to me and how much what they are doing for me means to me. I couldn't ask for a better support system. Im actually glad it's taken this long, i feel like before I couldnt have handled it, even though I did extensive research, as we do, I still dont think I was mentally prepared for it as a 17 year old!
I honestly still don't feel like it's happening. When i sit and think about how I will look a year from now..it trips me out. I've never been small. I have NO idea what my body is SUPPOSED to look like. Haha. Like I'm a tootsie pop and I get to melt down to my secret yummy center...there I go being a big girl and talking about candy! haha.
Im really excited to start my future, I feel like I haven't even began to start really living. Don't get me wrong, I have had a wonderful, fun life...I just feel like I've put off a lot of things and i'm stuck doing things in my comfort zone. As i gain more weight I do less and less things. I stay surprisingly optimistic and have decent self esteem. I've never lacked in the attention department and was never picked on for being over weight. So I guess you could say I am one of the lucky ones. Most people have told me that they never even knew I had a problem being over weight, that I carried myself well. I mean, what else am I supposed to do? Mope around and be depressed? I made the best of it and had made peace with being a BBW! That doesn't mean that on the inside it didn't bother me. It's weird though, how you know what you are doing to your body and you just keep making it worse. it was like i was getting to the point, where I didn't care anymore and it scared me. I had to do something.
So here i am...having surgery in just a few weeks and I am as nervous as I could possibly be!! :)
About Me
Bessemer City, NC
Location
50.9
BMI
Surgery
10/06/2010
Surgery Date
Aug 05, 2010
Member Since
